


Rust and Silk

by IllyriatheSmurf7



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Slow Burn, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-07-10 09:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19903417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllyriatheSmurf7/pseuds/IllyriatheSmurf7
Summary: “I have unfinished business with the family of a very dangerous man. I was hoping I could deal with them personally, but they seem to have disappeared. Vanished into thin air.” He doesn’t have to explain it. Valentina has figured it out, it's all horribly clear. Still, when Alacrán takes a strand of her hair and pushes it back behind her ear, she can’t help the tremor that runs through her body. He moves his fingers under her chin and makes her tilt her head up so that she has no choice but to meet his gaze. “Good thing you and Lupita’s daughter are such good friends.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the dark fic I talked about for so long. The story takes place after Juliana leaves her house and sees Valentina with Lucho, and it diverges from canon from there. It's going to be a long, rough ride full of angst. Check the warnings in the tags, I will add more if needed at the beginning of each chapter.
> 
> Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.

_“Juls, it’s me again, can you call me back, please?”_

_“Please can we talk? Let me explain at least, it wasn’t what you thought.”_

_“If you’re mad I get it but don’t ignore me, please. I just want to know that you’re okay, yeah? That we’re okay.”_

Valentina’s eyes fill with tears after leaving yet another unanswered message into Juliana’s voicemail. After catching her and Lucho hugging and storming off without saying a word, Juliana seemed to have disappeared from the face of the planet. A part of her feels angry at the younger girl for avoiding her like this, making her feel even more rejected than she had already felt after Juliana had broken up with her. She is quick to direct that anger at herself, though, when her mind goes to their last interaction and how Lupita had shattered that tiny moment of intimacy they’d achieved. Guilt twists her stomach into a knot when she realizes she hadn’t asked a single thing about how Juliana was doing when Juliana had messaged her, too wrapped up in her own worries about Guille and her family.

“Goddamnit, Valentina,” she mutters to herself.

Valentina dials Juliana’s number again, nervously tapping her foot as the seconds go by and Juliana doesn’t pick up the phone. When the voicemail kicks in, she hangs up with a frustrated sigh. All the horrible things that happened to her, the bullying and Eva’s mean words, the hostage situation and Juliana breaking their pact come back to her, spreading that overwhelming feeling of loneliness over her again. She has to blink away the tears thinking about just how happy she had been with Juliana before everything had come crashing down on them. 

The fear of losing Juliana even more completely than she already has hurts and scares her enough to shake her into motion. Throwing the first jacket she finds on her body, Valentina rushes out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house. She is about to call for Alirio when a voice behind her stops her. 

“Where are you going?”

“Stay out of my business, Eva,” Valentina says without even turning around. It’s pointless, though. Her sister is the most stubborn person she knows, and ignoring Valentina’s words, Eva plants herself in front of her younger sister, a judging expression darkening her already hard features. She only needs one glance at Valentina’s face to understand what’s going on.

“You’re going to that girl, aren’t you? That Juliana.” When Valentina doesn’t reply, Eva shakes her head. “I thought she was gone from your life. God Vale, didn’t you hear me when we last talked?” 

“Yes I did,” Valentina replies, trying her best to sound firm. “And I don’t care about anything you said. I–“ Instinctively she finds herself looking away for a moment, but it doesn’t last long. She is quick to swallow back her nervousness and her eyes find her sister’s again, voice low but certain. 

“I love her, Eva.” 

Eva groans loudly at that but Valentina doesn’t let it stop her. 

“I love her, and she loves me and you have no right to–”

“Valentina, open your eyes!” Eva suddenly cuts her off. “I knew you were naive but I didn’t think you were stupid. That girl doesn’t love you. She loves your money. And she wants it so bad she’ll do the most depraved things to get it.” 

A wave of anger rushes through Valentina and instinctively she steps closer to Eva, getting right into her face. 

“Don’t say that about her, you don’t even know her!”

“Don’t I?” Eva scoffs, “If I’m wrong and she loves you so much, where is she? Why is she gone after I told her not to take advantage of you?”

The reminder of the distance between them silences Valentina for a moment, spreading an uncomfortable feeling of cold over her body. She has to shut her eyes and suck in a deep breath to force herself out of that state. After everything that happened, Eva doesn’t scare her remotely as much as she used to.

“She pulled away because you insulted her for no reason,” Valentina hisses once she opens her eyes again. “You had no right to go to her and threaten her.”

“Oh please,” Eva rolls her eyes and pinches at the bridge of her nose, clearly annoyed with the entire conversation. “All I did was protect my family, Valentina. I didn’t threaten her, I reminded her of where she belongs.”

Valentina had had fights with her siblings in the past, but never before she had felt such a strong desire to actually hit one of them. It takes all her willpower to restrain herself. 

She clenches her hands into fists and pushes past Eva, walking up to Alirio to tell him to take her to Juliana. She is surprised, though, when she feels a hand wrap around her wrist and give a harsh jerk.

“You’re not seeing that girl,” Eva says, tightening her grasp but Valentina twists her arm to the point of pain until she finally manages to get free with a strong tug. 

“You can’t stop me.” 

Eva holds Valentina’s stare for long, tense seconds, until suddenly, to Valentina’s surprise, she tits her head and looks behind her. It’s only when Valentina turns around that she sees Alirio standing awkwardly there, waiting for instructions. 

“Alirio, my sister isn’t allowed to take the car,” Eva says, making Valentina’s eyes go wide in surprise. 

“Miss…” Alirio starts, uneasy, but Eva quickly interrupts him. 

“You’re not allowed to take her anywhere, do you understand me? If you disobey my instructions, you’re going to have to find another job.” 

Valentina’s jaw drops. 

“You can’t be serious…” she whispers, completely shocked by her sister’s actions. 

“I’m doing this for your own good, Valentina,” Eva simply says. “If you’re not mature enough to realize what’s best for you, I’ll do it for you.” 

Tears starts burning behind Valentina’s eyes, tears of frustration and raw anger. She looks back at Alirio, meeting his apologetic gaze. He won’t disobey Eva’s orders and Valentina wouldn’t ask him to. She grits her teeth to the point of pain. 

“You’re a bitch.” 

“I’ve been called worse things, Vale. It comes with being a strong woman.” 

Valentina can’t help but laugh mirthlessly at that. “A strong woman. Yes right. You’re just a sad, heartless shell at this point. And I won’t let you turn me into that.” 

Valentina wipes away the tears from her eyes and starts walking away.

“Where do you think you’re going, didn’t you hear what I said?!” Eva screams but Valentina doesn’t turn around. 

“Yes and you can stop Alirio from driving me around but you can’t keep me imprisoned here.” 

“What are you gonna do, walk all the way to the house she stole?” 

Valentina has to physically restrain herself from turning around and tackling Eva to the ground. She keeps walking instead, too impatient to get away from Eva’s spiteful words to even bother with answering her sister.

“You’re gonna regret this, do you hear me Vale?!” Eva screams, “Don’t come crying to me when you get hurt!” 

Valentina runs past the gates and out on the streets. Only then does she let out a relieved sigh.

She walks for fifteen minutes just to put distance between herself and Eva, before stopping and trying to make up a plan. She knows she cannot walk all the way to the mansion. It’s too far and she isn’t even sure she could get there without getting lost first. She takes out her phone to call for a car but she stops, suddenly doubtful about her idea to just show up at Juliana’s place. As much as it hurts to think about it, she’s not even sure Juliana would _want_ to see her, especially without receiving a warning first. 

Her mind goes to all the times Juliana tried to reach out for her and she shut the younger girl out, not bothering to think about what she must have felt because she was too wrapped up in her own feelings. Only now that she finds herself on the receiving hand of this behavior does she realize just how painful it is. Above all her anger and sadness and worry, her need to see Juliana outweighs everything. 

“Idiot,” she whispers, biting at the inside of her cheek, replaying in her mind the last moment she had seen Juliana, the clear shock and upset in her dark eyes before she had run away. Without thinking, she walks even further away until she finds a quiet street and slows down, dialing Juliana’s number again. When the girl once again doesn’t answer and the voice mail kicks in, this time Valentina doesn’t hang up. 

“Hey it’s me again…” she whispers hesitating, everything she wants to tell Juliana on the tip of her tongue at once. 

“I’m sorry,” is what she ends up saying. “I’m sorry for what you saw at my house, but it wasn’t what you think, Juls. Things have been hard and–“ 

Valentina squeezes her eyes and stops, annoyed with her own voice. Things have been hard for Juliana too but she didn’t ignore her and look for comfort in the arms of someone who only caused them pain. 

She pushes away whatever excuse comes up to her mind and instead speaks with her heart, hoping it’s not too late. 

“I miss you. I miss you so much and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that, I’m–“ she exhales a heavy breath, wet with the tears she is trying to hold back. “I’m out of the house. Eva threatened Alirio so… I ran. Can we meet? I’ll come wherever you want just– I need to see you. Call me back when you hear this, yeah? I…” 

She hesitates, two more words hanging from her lips but she stops herself. She is worried saying it now might sound like a manipulation to Juliana and that’s the last thing she wants. 

“I’ll be here,” she finishes instead, trying to make her voice as steady as possible. “I’ll respect whatever choice you want to make. Just call me. Bye, Juls.” 

Valentina hangs up and closes her eyes for a moment, letting the seconds go by as she tries to calm down. There is an uneasy feeling at the pit of her stomach, a feeling that grows whenever she focuses on the possibility that Juliana might not want to see her again for good.The breakup was devastating enough, she cannot begin to imagine the pain she would feel if the younger girl were to walk out of her life entirely.

She opens her eyes again soon enough, too worried to dwell on those thoughts and feelings. She blinks the sting out of her eyes and sighs heavily, but before she can put her phone in the back pocket of her jeans, something impacts her from behind and slams her body against the wall, making her phone drop and shatter on the concrete curb. 

The pain takes over immediately, and before Valentina can begin to realize what just happened, she feels a rough hand close around her mouth. 

“Don’t fight.”

Panic seizes her and she reacts instinctively. She tries to move her head to see who hit her but she only gets slammed against the wall again, harder this time. 

“I said don’t fight.” Valentina freezes when she feels the cold barrel of a gun being pressed against her side. “Now you’re gonna be a good little girl and come with us. Nod your head so I know you understand.” 

Valentina darts her eyes wildly and manages to twist her head enough to see the shape of two men behind her. She moans in pain when one of them grabs her arm and twists it behind her back. 

“Did you understand me?” She squeezes her eyes shut and nods frantically just to make the pain stop. “Good. Let’s move.” 

She feels herself being pulled away from the wall and dragged across the curb. Opening her eyes, she sees a black van with an open door and two armed men standing next to it. 

“Get her in,” one of them says to the guy holding her. It’s only in that moment that Valentina truly realizes what’s happening, that she is about to be kidnapped. 

Her mind flashes back to the day Armenta and his men held her hostage inside her own house. The same terror she had worked so hard on overcoming crawls up her body and wraps around her throat, choking her like a cold, metal vise, and for a few, eternal seconds, she is completely petrified. 

It’s only when she gets shoved forward that the situation becomes real again. Adrenaline kicks in and pulls her out of her paralyzing memories, making her brain and body snap into motion again. 

Before they can drag her away, Valentina lifts one of her legs and pushes with all her strength against the side of the van. The sudden action makes the man behind her stumble and fall down, pulling Valentina to the ground with him but also loosening the hold on her body. She thrashes about and blindly hits behind her, desperate to get free. She feels a jab of pain in her elbow, followed by a cracking noise and a scream and suddenly, she is free.

She gets on her feet and tries to run as fast as she can. Despite her best efforts, though, she doesn’t go far. Before she can let out a full scream, a hand covers her mouth again and this time she feels two pairs of arms seize her body, lifting her up and dragging her away. She flails about and fights and screams but it’s all pointless. In a matter of seconds she’s back where she started, but this time she cannot stop them. 

They throw her inside the van and get in behind her, locking the door and immediately driving away into the unknown.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here is the new chapter, where things begin to get really dark. As per usual, please check the warnings in the tags, I will add more if needed at the beginning of each chapter. This one contains graphic violence.
> 
> As always, enjoy and let me know your thoughts with a message or a comment!

Valentina has no way of knowing how long has passed. They had tied her hands and blindfolded her as soon as they got her into the van, and from then on, her perception of time had been skewed by blindness and fear, stretching every second to an unbearable degree as every touch and voice around her had turned into a threat. Every question and plea from her part had only been ignored or had elicited laughs around her. When she had tried to struggle, she had been pushed back against the seat and a gun had been jammed against her ribs. The man holding it had kept the weapon there even after she had gone still, whispering wishes of revenge for having broken his nose with her elbow. The fear she had felt when Armenta and his men had forced themselves into her car to use her as bait seems nothing compared to the terror of this abduction. 

By the time the car finally stops, Valentina feels like she has been sitting there for ages. 

The sound of the engine being turned off only adds to her fear rather than calming her, and before she can even ask where they are, she hears the door of the van slide open and someone grabs her arm and drags her outside. 

Valentina stumbles on her feet, almost falls on the ground if not for the rough hands holding her up and dragging her, mindless of her struggle. A part of her wants to resist them but she knows she is no match and they would get her where they want anyway, only by hurting her more. So she forces herself to follow them, eyes moving wildly behind the blindfold in the pointless attempt to catch any details. She is cold, that’s what she knows. The air is crisp and it makes her throat sting whenever she takes in a breath. She only feels colder when a door creaks open in front of her and they enter a building.

They walk more once inside, through what she can imagine being a hallway, until she hears another door being opened and she is pulled forward.

“Move, bitch,” someone says next to her before shoving her on a chair. 

“Easy,” a new, amused voice reaches her ears. “That’s not the way to treat a lady.” 

Valentina shakes violently but doesn’t dare move from the chair, frozen in fear. 

“Wh—” she starts, trying to calm her erratic breathing enough to form a coherent sentence. “Where am I?”

“You’re my guest,” that same voice answers. 

“Who are you?” Valentina pushes after the cryptic answer. A sudden, dreadful thought hits her as she remembers the fear that had kept her hiding inside her house for days afterbeing taken hostage. 

“Are you with Servando Armenta?” To her surprise, this time her question is met with loud laughs. After having been on the edge of panic for what seemed like hours, even with all the fear she is feeling, the mockery suddenly heightens the tension in her body and turns it into a wave of anger. 

“Tell me who you are!” she says again, voice much louder than she thought she could manage. “Why am I here, what do you want?”

The room goes silent around her again. She moves her head from side to side, trying to orient herself. Her senses zone in on the sound of footsteps coming from her side and suddenly there’s a hand on her face, roughly ripping the blindfold away.

Valentina squeezes her eyes shut instinctively, pupils hurt by the sudden brightness after all that time in the dark. She has to blink repeatedly before the multitude of flashing dots stops dancing in front of her, but eventually her eyes start working again and her surroundings slowly come into focus and take form. 

She is in what seems like an abandoned warehouse, a big room much darker than it had seemed to her initially. The lights on the ceiling are dimmed by dirt, which covers the walls all the way around her and makes her feel icky. Her eyes keep moving and she finally takes in all the people present in the room with her. It’s at least six men, the one she broke the nose of standing right next to her with the blindfold in his hands. But it’s the man in front of her, leaning casually against a table and staring at her with a dark glimmer in his eyes that makes her gasp. His lips curl into a smile when he sees her reaction.

“No, I’m not with Armenta, Valentina,” the man says, scratching at the side of his mustache, “but thank you so much for taking care of him for me. My business is much easier now that that idiot is gone.”

Valentina had suspected his identity the second she had laid her eyes on him, but his words are the confirmation she needed to know who she is dealing with. And now that she does, she has never been more terrified.

“Do you know who I am?” 

She has never met him personally but she nods slowly. The name comes to her mind right away. Juliana has said it countless times, voice filled with fear and hate and pain, and Valentina can’t think of anyone else.

“Alacrán.” she whispers. His smile stretches wider. 

“Good girl.”

A shiver runs through Valentina as she watches him move his eyes over her, silently taking in her tied up, helpless form. Somehow his silent grin manages to be more threatening and terrifying than the violence his men used to get her there.

“Did my men treat you well?” he starts, “I told them to be nice to you.” 

He then glances at the man to Valentina’s side and lets out a laugh.

“It seems you weren’t as nice to them, though!” he says, laughing even louder and pointing at the man’s broken nose. “What the fuck did she do to you, Carlos? What, the princesita is too much to handle for you?” 

The man called Carlos doesn’t say anything, but the silent, dark glare he shoots in Valentina’s direction is enough to make her shiver and instinctively try to pull away from him.

“Ah, I’m not surprised,” Alacrán continues while his laugh dies down, catching Valentina’s attention again. “You’re a Carvajal. Fearless women.” 

The comment makes Valentina frown but she remains quiet, too worried and scared to focus for too long on the meaning of his words. 

“What do you want?” she asks again, biting the inside of her cheek to keep the trembling out of her voice. “You want money? My family is rich, they will give you whatever—” 

“I don’t want your money,” Alacrán cuts her off. “My business with your family keeps me wealthy enough.” 

“Business? What bus—” 

“You’re here for a much more personal matter, princesita,” he says, interrupting her again. Valentina’s body goes rigid when he lifts himself up from the table and starts walking slowly until he’s standing right before her, towering over her. 

“See, I have unfinished business with the family of a very dangerous man. I was hoping I could deal with them personally, but they seem to have disappeared. Vanished into thin air, like that.” 

He snaps his fingers to prove his point. Valentina doesn’t react. She sits as still as humanly possible, staring blankly ahead of her and refusing to make eye contact. He doesn’t have to explain it. She has figured it out, and it’s worse than anything she could have imagined. Still, when Alacrán takes a strand of her hair and pushes it back behind her ear, she can’t help the tremor that runs through her body. He moves his fingers under her chin and makes her tilt her head up so that she has no choice but to meet his gaze. 

“Good thing you and Lupita’s daughter are such good friends.”

Blood freezes in Valentina’s veins. Even if she had pretty much realized the reason behind her kidnapping already, hearing it out loud makes is terrifying in a way she couldn’t have prepared herself for.

She tries to recover and feign ignorance but fear and shock are affecting her too much to be able to put up an act even barely convincing. She can barely speak.

“I… I don’t—” 

“Don’t lie to me, kid,” Alacrán says, tracing Valentina’s trembling lip with his thumb. “We know you two are attached to the hip. Always together, even at the hospital. My friend Mugres here told me how protective you were of your little friend.” 

He nods to his right and when Valentina follows his movement with her eyes, she finds herself staring at the same man who had leered at Juliana in the elevator. She is disgusted to realize he’s looking at her with the same lust she had seen directed at Juliana. Her observation is cut short though, when Alacrán grabs her chin and twists her face around to make her look at him again. 

“He said you told him Lupita died. But we both know that’s not true, is it Valentina?”

Tears fill Valentina’s eyes.

“What do you want?” she whispers. 

Alacrán smiles taking in those tears, and lets the seconds stretch in silence, like he is meditating on his answer. Then, finally, he sighs and lets out a small laugh that makes Valentina’s blood run cold. 

“I want to kill Lupita and her daughter.” 

A single tear runs down Valentina’s cheek without her being able to stop it in any way. His words are terrifying in their simplicity, the way he just casually reveals his intention to kill Juliana and her mom. It makes Valentina’s stomach twist so hard she thinks she’s going to throw up. 

“Chino has dragged his debt for far too long. It’s a matter of respect now. Lupita and the little girl are going to help me send the right message to anyone who thinks about disrespecting me.” He tilts his head and smiles wider. “And that’s why you’re here, Valentina.”

Pure, consuming horror washes over Valentina and paralyzes her, leaving her unresponsive and vulnerable to his touch. A sob builds at the back of her throat when Alacrán starts playing with a strand of her hair, but it never makes it out of her mouth. Even without the ties around her wrists, she wouldn’t be able to move.

“I know you know where Juliana and her mother are hiding. I want you to tell me. Just do that and you can go.” 

Valentina’s mouth moves silently as she tries to come up with something to say, anything, but her throat is dry and her tongue sits heavy in her mouth. She cannot wrap her brain around what’s happening, it’s like her mind is refusing to process the situation, the kind of horrible request she just heard. After a minute of silence, Alacrán clicks his tongue and shrugs, looking at Valentina like he is confused with the lack of an answer. 

“What’s wrong, princess, you didn’t hear me? Tell me where they are so you can go home.” 

Valentina’s gaze drops to the floor, fists tightening repeatedly behind her back as she tries to think about all her options. She comes up with nothing. She is completely lost, not a single plan or clue on what to do. Her mind goes to Juliana, and what would happen if these men got their hands on her. 

She doesn’t know what she will do, but the one thing she does know is what she _won’t_ do. 

A rough hand suddenly shoves at her shoulder, almost making her fall from the chair.

“Answer him, bitch!” Carlos yells before being reprimanded by Alacrán. The sudden, violent gesture makes Valentina hiss in pain and shake slightly, but it awakens something else inside her other than fear. Somehow, that outburst and the assumption that she’ll just do what they want, that she will just give in and betray someone she loves, doesn’t scare her for a moment. It makes her angry. 

Valentina slowly lifts her head to glare first at the man with the broken nose and then at Alacrán, keeping her eyes steady on him even with the tears running down her face. 

“No,” she says with a firm voice. 

Alacran’s eyes go wide in surprise. He looks at his men like he didn’t hear Valentina’s answer, and when he sets his eyes back on her, Valentina can see a dark, threatening glint in them. 

“Maybe you didn’t understand me. That wasn’t a request, mija.” 

“I’m not your mija,” Valentina replies, refusing to let him intimidate her. “And I won’t tell you where they are.” 

Alacrán stares at her, surprise evident on his face. He doesn’t say anything for several long moments, just taking his time studying Valentina’s determined expression. Then, he starts laughing.

“Did you hear the princess?” he says to his men who start laughing with him, spreading an uneasy feeling of vulnerability over Valentina. It’s hard, but she refuses to back down and keeps her eyes set on Alacrán. 

“You’re brave, little one. Brave and stupid. See, I don’t think you realize what’s happening yet.” 

He leans forward and places his hands on the back of the chair, trapping Valentina between his arms and forcing their faces only inches away from each other. 

“If you don’t tell me what I want to know, things are going to get ugly for you.” Valentina tries to look away but he puts a hand on the nape of her neck and holds her painfully still. 

“A pretty girl like you isn’t build to withstand the things I’ll put you through if you don’t talk. Do you want me to break you, _mija_?” he repeats, to taunt her. “Is it worth it? To protect a girl you’ve just met?” 

Tears fall freely down Valentina’s face. She cannot push them back or pretend she isn’t terrified. Her whole body is shaking so violently she knows Alacrán can feel it. But even with all the fear she is feeling, the alternative to his threat is infinitely more terrifying to her. 

“I cannot tell you where they are,” she whispers, barely any sound to her words. 

Alacrán stares at her and then leans back, sighing. 

“I’m disappointed, Valentina.”

“Please—” the whimper falls involuntarily from Valentina’s lips but Alacrán just shakes his head, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. 

“I tried to be gracious with you.” 

“Please, don’t—” 

Valentina doesn’t see the blow coming. The back of Alacrán’s hand hits her above her left eye, making her head whip to the side and immediately opening a cut into her brow. A blow so sudden and violent it leaves her dizzy with pain. 

Lucho had hit her once. A drunk fight that had gone from Valentina pushing him to Lucho slapping her so hard she had fallen on the floor. She remembers that stinging pain very clearly, but she realizes now that it was nothing. Nothing compared to this horrible throbbing in the side of her head. 

She isn’t allowed any time to recover though, because suddenly someone grabs her by her hair and forces her up on her feet, dragging her across the room as she struggles to keep up and not succumb to the pain.

They stop in front of a dirty concrete tub that Valentina hadn’t even noticed and someone kicks the back of her knees, making her fall on the floor and bend over the tub. Her already ragged breathing becomes erratic when they drop a huge hose inside the tub and water starts coming out of it, quickly filling the tub to the brim. A small splash of water hits her face when they yank the hose out and she shivers, feeling just how icy the water is. Instinctively she tries to pull back, but she feels a hand tighten around her arm and one behind her neck, keeping her pinned down in a painfully strained position. 

“It could have been all much easier, Valentina,” Alacrán says, sitting on the edge of the tub next to Valentina and looking down at her. “It’s okay, though. I’m a patient man. Which should relieve you, and worry you. Because I won’t kill you out of anger. But I also won’t rush things. However long it takes, you’re going to do what I want. The sooner you realize this the less you will suffer. But for now…” 

He nods to the man holding Valentina and before she can do anything, Valentina is shoved forward and her head disappears under the water.

The first thing that hits her is the cold. The water is so icy it makes the skin of her face sting painfully. Valentina squeezes her eyes shut and tries to push back but the hand on her neck is too strong and keeps her pinned down, unable to breathe. When that fails, she tries to hold her breath as long as she can but it doesn’t work. The shock of their actions prevented her from sucking in enough air and soon enough her lungs start burning. Her chest tightens and tightens with a feeling so awful that it only takes a few seconds for panic to kick in. When that happens, she loses control over her body. She starts thrashing about, utterly desperate for just one gulp of fresh air, but it’s denied to her. She screams underwater, unable to restrain the pure terror that is running through her body. The edges of her vision are starting to blur when suddenly, finally, she is pulled out with a harsh tug.

Valentina immediately sucks in the longest breath of her life, filling her lungs to full capacity before the strain her body just sustained hits her and she starts coughing violently. She is a shaking, sobbing mess, unable to breathe properly without her throat burning and forcing another cough out of her. 

It doesn’t last long. 

It feels like she’s barely had one second to breathe when they push her head underwater again, keeping her under for even longer this time. Valentina is quicker to panic, her body already tired and traumatized by the shock of what she is experiencing. She kicks her legs and twists her body violently, but it’s pointless. They keep her there as long as they like, waiting until she feels she is going to drown and die before pulling her out. Again, they leave her the time for only a couple breaths that get lost in the form of desperate screams, then she is forced under again. Out and in, over and over in an endless, torturous cycle that makes Valentina beg for the release of unconsciousness. They’re about to push her down for the seventh time when Alacrán stops them.

Valentina’s body is unable to process the relief of this temporary break. She is shaking from head to toe, her face stings with the iciness of the water and the violence used to slam her down, and she seems to have completely lost the ability to breathe properly. Her lungs burn, her chest feels like it has caved in on itself, but despite her best efforts, all she manages is to cough and sob constantly, terrified tears mixing with the drops of water on her face as she tries to breathe and recover. 

“What did I tell you, princess?” Alacrán says, pushing a wet strand away from Valentina’s face and chuckling at her weak attempts to turn her head away, stubborn even through the fear and pain. “This is only going to get worse for you. Wouldn’t you prefer to just talk and end this now? Look, if you tell me where they are, I promise you I’ll kill your friend quickly. She won’t feel a thing. What do you say?”

Valentina coughs violently again, body racked by spasms while she tries to fight off the nausea, but Alacrán’s words reach her loud and clear. She waits until she has recovered enough to suck in more than one full breath, then she slowly lifts her head and meets Alacrán’s eyes. The first time she tries, her mouth opens uselessly and she is able to let out only a small, incoherent sound that makes Alacrán laugh. 

“What was that, little girl? Want to say something?” 

Valentina swallows heavily and clenches her jaw, his words about Juliana resonating in her head and filling her with a rage that surpasses all the pain she is feeling. 

“Screw you.”

Alacrán’s eyes go wide in shock, but immediately after, his face twists in anger. He pushes his man off of Valentina and grabs her himself by her hair, pushing her under the water even more brutally than before. 

“Looks like you also need to learn a few things about respect!” he screams even if Valentina cannot hear him. She struggles instinctively even though she knows it’s pointless by now, opening her mouth in a silent scream as her lungs beg for release. Alacrán is merciless though, keeping her under longer than even before just because she antagonized him. 

He waits until Valentina’s body starts growing still, shaken only by the involuntary twitches that precede unconsciousness, then he finally pulls her out and throws her on the floor. 

Valentina doesn’t try to move. She violently coughs up the water from her lungs and curls herself up in a ball, shaking and crying silently.

“You’re going to tell me what I want to know, princess,” Alacrán says, towering over her. “It’s just a matter of how much pain you’re willing to go through before breaking. And trust me.” He presses his boot on her shoulder to turn her on her back and make her look at him. “I can put you through a world of pain. Think it over tonight, because this,” he nods to the tub, “was nothing.” 

He steps away from her and gestures to two of his men who quickly grab Valentina and pull her up. She has no energy left to fight them off, unable to even stand if not for the rough hands keeping her up.

They cut away the ties around her wrists, but the relief on her bruised skin lasts barely a moment. Her arms are forced in front of her and the zip-ties are replaced by tight handcuffs that dig painfully into her skin. Valentina realizes what they’re doing far too late. She isn’t ready when they pull at the chain attached to the handcuffs and violently string her up, leaving her hanging from the ceiling with her feet barely touching the ground and her shoulders immediately screaming in pain. Alacrán doesn’t seem satisfied with the suffering he has already inflicted on her though, and gestures at his men again. 

When Valentina feels their hands at the waistband of her jeans, opening the button and zipper and tugging them down, she can’t help but react this time. She whimpers and twists her body as much as she can, but it’s all useless. In a matter of seconds, she is left hanging there only in her shirt and underwear.

No one moves to touch her. Alacrán stares at her trembling body with a smile on his face, letting tense seconds go by and making Valentina wonder in terror about what he’s planning to do. She is caught off guard when one of his men throws a bucket of icy water at her, wetting her from head to toe and making her gasp with the sudden cold. It takes only moment for her body to start shaking, the cold seeping into her bones and adding another layer of suffering to her strained body. 

“Think about what I told you,” Alacrán says. “It’s gonna be a long night. Sleep well, princess.” 

He and his men laugh and start walking away, mindless of Valentina’s attempts at telling him to stop. They turn off the lights before leaving and locking her in, leaving Valentina alone in the dark, freezing and hurt ant terrified. 

The tears are quick to come once they’re gone, and when they do, all the defenses and restraints Valentina had appealed to crumble and drop. One sob pushes out of her throat, followed by another immediately after, and before she knows it, the dark room is filled with the sound of Valentina’s crying.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry for the wait, this was supposed to come out weeks ago but life got in the way. Just a warning, this is probably the most graphic chapter in the fic. The rest of the story contains very dark content but not explicit like in this chapter, so please take the warning seriously.
> 
> Chapter contains an interrupted assault/molestation and graphic depictions of violence. Read to your own discretion.
> 
> As usual, enjoy and let me know your thoughts with a comment or a message!

_“I’ll respect whatever choice you want to make. Just call me. Bye, Juls.”_

Juliana listens to Valentina’s message yet another time. The honesty of the sorrow in Valentina’s voice is evident to her, and it makes her chest tight with an ache so strong it matches the pain she already feels.

That’s all she’s been feeling since she stormed out of Valentina’s house: pain. Pain and anger. Constant and unwavering. She had hoped the hours of work at Perlita’s restaurant would distract her, completely throwing herself into something and keeping her mind focused had always been her way to try and ignore whatever issue she had, but this time not even that had worked. The image of Lucho’s arms wrapped around Valentina had kept flashing before her eyes and tormenting her, hurting more than a blade peeling her skin from underneath.

For so long she had refused to admit it to herself, but it had always been one of her greatest fears; that Valentina would decide Juliana wasn’t worth all the trouble that had followed them ever since their relationship had been outed, that someone already belonging to her world would be a better choice, an easier choice. And it had taken less than one minute for her mind to turn those fears into reality.

She realizes she is crying only when a tear runs down her face and hits the fabric of her jeans. She angrily rubs at her eyes and sucks in a breath to try to calm down, but the tightness in her chest remains, possibly even stronger than before. So much of the anger she feels is directed at herself. She cannot help but single herself out as the root cause of this. Breaking up with Valentina had been the most painful thing she had ever done, but seeing what could only be a consequence of that choice had left hurting in a way she didn’t know was possible yet.

And yet, all the calls and messages she had received from Valentina right after had given her hope. A hope she didn’t want. Alone and broken as she felt after her mother’s rejection and seeing Valentina in Lucho’s arms, another disappointment would destroy her for good.

Juliana drops and picks the phone back up from her cot several times, pacing back and forth in the small room Perlita had given her trying to decide what to do. Her thumb hovers over the screen of the phone, right on top of Valentina’s number, while her logic, her anger, and her need to be with Valentina battle among themselves to decide what she should do. When she makes the call, she does so instinctively, immediately squeezing her eyes shut and cursing at herself for giving in. The moment she brings her phone to her ear though, all those clashing feelings are replaced instantly by an overwhelming disappointment: Valentina doesn’t pick up, nor does her phone ring at all, the only answer Juliana gets is an automated reply telling her that the number she tried to reach is temporary not available.

After trying four more times with the same result, Juliana throws her phone on the bed and huffs, rubbing her eyes in frustration. The only thing she can think of is that Valentina got tired of waiting for her, a thought that makes her eyes prickle with fresh tears.

Refusing to wallow in her own worries and pain, she hastily changes into her work uniform and gets out of the room while still in the middle of tying her hair into a ponytail.

The sight that greets her is the last thing she needed in that moment.

“What are you doing here?”

Juliana strides towards the counter where she saw Perlita caught in a conversation with her mother. Lupita smiles in relief the moment she sees her, but Juliana’s features stay harsh.

“I’m not coming back home,” she says the second she joins them. Her immediate refusal makes Lupita’s face darken, with the same shock and upset that Juliana had seen when she had caught her and Valentina kissing. That look is enough for Perlita to excuse herself and leave them alone.

“Juliana—”

“I don’t want to hear it, you understand me?” Juliana cuts her mother off. “You made your point clear yesterday, you don’t need to tell me again that I’m not normal.”

“Juli, that’s not what I meant. I just want—”

“What? You want me to be happy?” Juliana chuckles joylessly. Her throat hurts, she can hear her voice cracking as the words come out of her mouth. “Right, you want me to be happy but away from the person I love.” 

She frowns and bites her lip the second she says that: the last thing she wants right now is to cry in front of her mother. Still, she can’t help but having to blink and look away to hold back the tears when Lupita steps closer and hesitantly takesJuliana’s hand in hers.

“Mija, please… I know I was harsh, I just—” Lupita shrugs, struggling to find the right words like it has often happened to Juliana herself. “I don’t know, maybe I was wrong in how I reacted, but it shocked me. Try to look at it from my perspective.”

“You’ve said that already,” Juliana replies through clenched teeth. “Your perspective is based on nothing but hate.”

“No, not hate.” Lupita reaches up to cradle Juliana’s face in her hands but the girl flinches away, too vulnerable and hurt to fall into the comfort of her mother’s familiar touch. The pain from the rejection twists at Lupita’s features in a way that immediately makes Juliana feel guilty, but this time she refuses to give in to that instinctive feeling.

“You’re my daughter,” Lupita continues, trying to steady her voice and push back her upset. “You’re my reason for living, I could never hate you. I’m just scared you’ll never be able to have a normal life if you choose this relationship with Valentina.”

That word again. _Normal_. It makes Juliana almost visibly wince, triggering that inner turmoil that had plagued her endlessly since her mother’s discovery and her subsequent words. What she had with Valentina was _her_ normal. Nothing had ever made more sense in her life, nothing had ever made her feel more complete. And it had all slipped through her fingers and faded away, because of other people’s conception of what was right and what was wrong. Other people’s normality had killed her normal. She hated them for it, and she hated herself even more for letting them destroy what she and Valentina had. Used to have.

When she rubs the back of her hand over her eyes, she feels wetness on her skin. This time, she doesn’t bother trying to hide the fact she is crying. Her chest feels so tight that it seems like trying to hold back even more would make it cave in and crack open.

“You know what? You don’t have to worry about that.” Juliana says, pulling away from Lupita and shaking her head with a chuckle so bitter it makes her grimace. “Valentina and I aren’t together anymore. She also chose that normal life you care so much about, and I’m not part of it.”

Juliana despises every word that came out of her mouth, even more so after surprise colors Lupita’s features. She doesn’t want to believe what she is saying, she wants to tell herself that she is exaggerating, but it’s so much easier to believe that someone wouldn’t fight for her when that has been the only constant certainty in her life.

“Juli, I’m—”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” Juliana hisses, raising a hand as if to physically stop her mother from finishing her sentence. “Don’t do that. Just go, mom.”

“Please, can we just—”

“I said go!” The sudden rise in Juliana’s tone stuns Lupita into silence. “I cannot talk or- or _think_ about this right now, and you being here is only making me hate my life even more than I already am.”

Juliana sucks in a breath through her teeth, feeling her energies drain out of her body to be replaced by a pounding ache behind her eyes. She is exhausted, in mind and body. Her life doesn’t feel like life any longer but just a circus of ugliness and cruelty and above almost anything else, she wants that feeling to stop. The one thing she wants more than that, the one that would make everything better, she cannot have.

“You have my number and I know where to find you. But right now I need you to go,” Juliana says again with a quieter tone, reflective of her exhaustion. This time, Lupita doesn’t argue. She gazes at her daughter with sorrow in her eyes, but she doesn’t attempt to continue the conversation or to force her presence on Juliana.

“I love you, mija,” Lupita whispers. Juliana’s sight gets blurry with tears. She doesn’t give a reply, and Lupita doesn’t wait for one. The older woman just sighs sadly, then she turns around and leaves the restaurant.

Juliana stands there in the middle of the room for several seconds, looking at the open door while a single tear makes its way down her cheek. She blindly reaches for her phone in the the back pocket of her jeans and dials Valentina’s number. All she gets is the same, maddening automated reply.

Juliana squeezes her phone so hard the edges dig into her palm to the point of pain. A new wave of tears fills her eyes and tumbles down her face. She lets them fall.

* * *

Valentina is woken up but the clanging sound of a door opening behind her. 

The loud noise startles her and makes her flinch, causing a zinging pain to shoot all the way through her body. After they had left her, she had fallen in and out of consciousness, unable to truly rest for even five minutes because of the horrible ache in her neck and arms and the freezing cold that had kept tormenting her the whole night. Even now, right after opening her eyes, coldness is one of the first feelings to overwhelm her senses, making her teeth chatter and her body grow even stiffer. 

She didn’t know it was possible to feel so much pain without doing anything. She tries to ignore it though, and to focus on the approaching steps she can hear behind her. 

Trying to twist her head and look only makes her stiff neck scream in protest. Her eyes immediately squeeze shut at the pain that spreads all the way to her shoulders and a quiet groan drops from her lips. She doesn’t have to move, though. A hot sigh against the back of her head makes her freeze in fear at the realization that whoever entered is already that close to her. 

She assumes that person to be Alacrán. 

“Good morning, princess.” 

The voice that reaches her ears makes Valentina’s eyes snap open in surprise. She breathes heavily and watches as the person walks around her and stops right in front of her. She knew she had recognized the voice. Carlos, Alacrán called him. The one she had broken the nose of. As much as Alacrán hurt her and is in charge of what happens to her, finding herself alone with the man who vowed revenge for being hurt by her scares her even more.

“Slept well?” Carlos asks, smiling at the sight of Valentina’s teeth chattering. Valentina doesn’t reply, silently staring at his face to try and figure out his intentions. Her eyes instinctively fall on his nose, not bleeding anymore but still swollen and bruised. He catches her line of sight and chuckles, carefully bringing his fingers to his nose. 

“Ah yes. Your little gift. It hurt the whole night, you know?” 

He steps closer and moves his hand from his face to Valentina’s, smiling at the way she grows even more rigid and tries pointlessly to lean back and away. He traces the bridge of her nose with the tip of his fingers, moving back and forth gently, without adding pressure, but the light touch is enough to terrify her to her core with the uncertainty of what he’s going to do next. He knows that. 

“Yesterday I was planning to do the same to you.” 

“Please—” Valentina whispers but he moves his fingers to her lips, pressing against them to silence her. 

“Begging won’t get you anywhere, princess. You can do that later.” 

He moves his hand even lower and wraps it around her neck, squeezing enough to feel the hammering of her vein under his fingers. When he leans in, barely an inch away from her face, Valentina is terrified to notice the dark, excited glint in his eyes. 

“I won’t do that, don’t worry,” Carlos says with a smile, nodding towards her nose. “Helping Alacrán break you is gonna be much more entertaining.”

Valentina wants to cry. She feels like that’s all she has been doing since they threw her in the van and dragged her here. Tears of fear, of pain, of frustration; she had spent the night crying before passing out due to exhaustion only. She thought she had run out of tears to shed. But looking into this man’s deranged eyes and feeling his touch on her skin makes her realize just how wrong she was.

A violent shiver runs down Valentina’s spine, making her shake and rattle the chains holding her body up. A tremor strong enough to catch Carlos’ attention. He tilts his head and looks up and down Valentina’s body, eyes roaming over her naked legs in a way that makes her stomach churn.

“What?” he suddenly says, taking a closer look at Valentina’s whole body and chuckling in mockery. “Are you cold, princess?” 

Valentina looks away and doesn’t reply, unable to do anything to stop the shivering, only heightened by the fear she is feeling because of him. Fear and humiliation, burning deep inside of her and impossible to shake off or subdue in her vulnerable state. 

She gasps when she feels his hand on her arm, tracing lightly from her elbow to her shoulder. 

“Goosebumps,” he chuckles, moving his fingers over her collarbone. “Shivers.” Then he goes quiet for a moment. Valentina doesn’t have to look at him to feel the weight of his stare on her. She tries to stay as still as possible, but when she feels him move his hand down her chest to rest over her left breast, she can’t stop the scared gasp that comes out of her mouth. 

“I bet your nipples are hard underneath your bra,” he says, voice low and thick with excitement in a way that makes her heart drop at the pit of her stomach. “Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe you’re not cold, princesita. Maybe you’re just turned on.”

A violent wave of nausea rushes through Valentina’s stomach with the comment and threatens to make her sick. She instinctively tries to recoil from him as a terror she still hadn’t experienced spreads over her like a suffocating blanket. Carlos only smiles at her reaction and steps closer, moving his other hand on her hip and caressing the strip of naked skin between her panties and the hem of her shirt. 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” he says, his smile growing wider when he sees Valentina shake her head with tears in her eyes. “Maybe I should check to confirm it.” 

“Don’t—” Valentina whispers, breath stuck in her throat as she feels the panic rise inside her, making her heart hammer inside her chest. Carlos chuckles at her feeble protest and proceeds to ignore it. 

“Let’s see…” he says, moving his hand under the fabric of her shirt and caressing the skin of her stomach up towards her breast. When his fingers brush against her bra and she feels him trying to sneak underneath the garment, something snaps inside of Valentina, triggering an impulse of self-preservation that shakes her out of her terrified trance. 

“Stop, don’t— DON’T TOUCH ME!” she screams. She twists her body with all the strength she has left and brings her knee up, hitting him right between his legs.

He wasn’t expecting her reaction, and the sudden blow makes him double over in pain, clutching at himself between his legs.

Valentina breathes fast and heavily, tightening her hands around the chains that keep her restrained to have a tangible feeling to focus on. She watches Carlos catch his breath, coughing with the intensity of the pain she caused, and she feels a wave of anger and satisfaction wash over her. She embraces both feelings and the way they kickstart her system into motion again.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she repeats through gritted teeth. That’s when he lifts his head and looks at her. 

Valentina sees it immediately, the blind rage that darkens his eyes. He pulls himself up, wincing with the movement but not letting it stop him. Valentina was ready for his retaliation, she was expecting it. But still, she cannot help the cry of fear that comes out of her mouth when he storms towards her and grabs at her throat with one hand while pressing his gun against her forehead with the other.

His grip is like a vise around her neck, cutting off her oxygen and making her head pound painfully. He would only have to squeeze just a bit tighter and a bit longer to make her pass out or kill her, but he keeps her there, at the edge of panic and forced to feel every terrifying second of this.

“You really want me to hurt you, don’t you, bitch?” Carlos hisses, his hot breath hitting Valentina’s lips and making her gasp. She tries to turn her head away or to pull back, but he doesn’t allow her to move an inch, only pressing himself closer and forcing the barrel of his gun to dig deeper into Valentina’s skin. 

“You may be a billionaire, but you’re nothing but a bitch here. I could kill you right now, you think I care about what Alacrán wants?”

Valentina tries to beg, tries to say anything just to make him let go and step away but it’s useless. His grip keeps her from uttering a single word, constricting her throat to the point of almost choking her.

“Do you wanna see how I handle feisty bitches like you?”

He pulls the gun away and shoves it back inside his pants but there is no relief with the action for Valentina.Her eyes go wide and a wave of panic seizes her lungs and throat when she feels his fingers at the waistband of her underwear. Valentina shakes her head as much as she can and her mouth opens and closes in a string of silent “no”s that only makes Carlos laugh, but before he can do anything, a voice behind Valentina stops him. 

“What are you doing?”

Carlos freezes with the question. He looks behind Valentina and immediately lets out a groan of annoyance at the sight of Mugres making his way towards them. No longer able to do as he pleases, he reluctantly pulls away and takes a step back. A violent coughing fit immediately shakes Valentina’s body as air rushes through her finally free throat, but the coughs quickly turn into loud, uncontrollable sobs. 

Valentina squeezes her eyes and cries freely, head dropping down on her chest as her body is racked by the intensity of her crying. Her mind and senses are on overdrive, trying to recover from the violence endured and tormenting her with thoughts about what could have happened if Mugres hadn’t stepped in.

“We were just having a little fun,” Carlos says when Mugres approaches him. 

“Yeah well, Alacrán is about to get in. You know we’re not supposed to do anything without his orders. Idiot.” 

Carlos laughs at the comment and shrugs. 

“As if you wouldn’t have done the same.” 

Mugres tilts his head, staring at Valentina for a moment and then back at Carlos. A small smile pulls at the corners of his mouth then, darkening his face rather than brightening it. 

“There’s gonna be time for that. Learn to be patient, you ass.” 

Carlos raises his hands in mock-surrender and then slowly walks up to Valentina again. 

“Hear that, princess?” he says, pulling her head up by her hair and making her look at him. “We have all the time in the world.” 

He uses his free hand to catch on his fingers one of the tears running down Valentina’s face. Then, making sure she can’t look away, he brings the fingers to his mouth, slowly sucking at the tips and smiling when Valentina’s face twists in disgust. 

“A starter,” he whispers, before finally stepping away and leaving Valentina hanging there, shivering violently with the fear and ickiness she feels all over her body. 

She can’t help but think about Juliana; her soft smile, the tenderness of her touch.Fresh tears tumble down her cheeks at the thought. She’d give anything to replace what she is feeling now with Juliana’s touch.

She is quickly ripped away even from the comfort of her own memories, though. As Mugres had promised, barely five minutes after he interrupted Carlos, Alacrán walks inside the room, followed by the rest of his men. 

“Good morning, miss Carvajal,” he says, circling Valentina and stopping in front of her with a smile. “How are we feeling today? More talkative?” 

Valentina keeps her eyes down, silently shaking in terror at the prospect of what he’s going to do once she refuses his demands again. The horrible night and the traumatizing encounter with Carlos have muted whatever desire she had to antagonize these men. 

Despite her silence though, her answer remains unchanged. She cannot give Juliana up. She never will. 

“I guess not,” Alacrán says with a sigh after Valentina’s long pause. He is smoking, Valentina realizes when he pulls a cigarette from his lips and blows a puff of smoke in her face, making her eyes burn. 

“Ah, Valentina,” he grabs the back of her head and makes her look up at him. “I thought you were smarter than this. You’re so pretty, why do you have to make me hurt you?” 

“P-please, sir,” Valentina whispers, her voice shaking just like her body. “I don’t know where they are, okay? Please, I don’t—” 

“Don’t lie to me!” Alacrán’s sudden outburst makes Valentina whimper and cower in on herself. “If there is one thing I can’t stand is liars. You just made things so much worse for yourself, little girl.” 

One tear falls down Valentina’s cheek as Alacrán circles her again slowly, taking in the trembling of her body. 

“Are you cold, mija?” he asks with a grin. “Is that why you lied? The cold made you stupid?” 

Valentina doesn’t say anything, crying silently and keeping her eyes glued to the floor, too terrified to even admit that she is indeed freezing. Revealing any sort of vulnerability, even one as apparent as that one, is something she fears could be used against her, and she is far too scared and in pain to give them additional means to hurt her. 

Alacrán doesn’t seem to need a spoken answer to know the truth, though. He stops in front of her and smiles wider. 

“Alright!” He bends forward and tilts his head to enter her visual field. “Let’s do something about that, shall we? Let’s warm you up.” 

He gets back up and this time, Valentina follows him with her gaze, growing concerned with the sudden drop of his smile. Alacrán pulls the cigarette from his lips and stares at it for a long moment. Then, he gestures at his men. 

“Hold her.”

Valentina widens her eyes at the realization of what is about to happen. A wave of terror washes over her and she starts frantically shaking her head, twisting her body as much as she physically can when two men come to hold her still and Alacrán moves to stand behind her. 

“No no no, please!” she cries, tugging at the chains in a desperate attempt to get free. She lets out a fearful cry when she feels Alacrán’s hand in her hair and he bends her head to the side, exposing her neck. 

“Please!” she sobs again, but she only receives laughs in return. 

“This is going to sting, princess,” Alacrán says. “Feel free to scream.” 

With that, he presses the incandescent tip of the cigarette under Valentina’s ear. Valentina’s eyes clamp shut and she lets out an agonizing scream as the burning, excruciating pain becomes all she can feel. 

Valentina’s skin sizzles and smokes while Alacrán keeps the cigarette there until the fire dies down. He smiles at the flaming red brand that marks the skin of Valentina’s neck, burning even after he pulls away and making Valentina scream and cry desperately.

Valentina tries to suck in a breath between sobs, unable to breathe properly with how much the pain is consuming her. She cries out louder when Alacrán grabs her hair again and pulls her head up, making her neck move and spreading an excruciating zing all around the area where he burned her. 

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” 

He drops the butt of the cigarette on the floor and reaches in the inside pocket of his jacket. His eyes remain fixed on Valentina’s face, watching her features twist in horror when she sees the fresh pack of cigarettes in his hand. Valentina’s blood runs cold in her veins when Alacrán pops it open with his thumb. When he finally speaks, his voice has lost any hint of amusement or wicked playfulness. It’s simply threatening, terrifying. 

“Tell me where they are or I put the whole pack out on your body.”

Valentina closes her eyes, letting fresh tears fall from behind her lids. She tries to inhale but all she manages is a hiccuped sob. The burning behind her ear seems only more intense this way, and even with her eyes closed, her body shakes violently when she hears the sound of a lighter being turned on and the smell of smoke reaches her nose. 

“I’m waiting, Valentina,” Alacrán says, staring at her. Valentina refuses to open her eyes, though, and behind closed lids, she sees Juliana. 

She imagines her in the hands of these men. Her screams as they do to the younger girl the same things she is experiencing now, her kind features twisted in pain, her dead body abandoned on the floor. 

She squeezes her eyes so tight she sees white spots. Then, she shakes her head. 

“I can’t,” she sobs, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” 

Over and over, despite knowing what it’s going to cost her. The pain she is feeling is unbearable, and she knows it’s about to get infinitely worse, but the thought of Juliana going through even just a second of this torture goes beyond unbearable. It would destroy her for good.

“Ah mija,” Alacrán says with a sigh after hearing her answer. “You really asked for this. Let’s see how long it takes for you to change your mind.” 

He gestures to Mugres and the man steps close to Valentina, pulling out a knife and making quick work of cutting her shirt open and ripping it off, careless of her terrified tremors. 

“God, please…” Valentina whimpers more to herself than to anyone, unable to choke back more tears when Alacrán traces the straps of her bra with a finger and smiles. 

“You don’t need this, princess.” He steps back and Mugres is quick to cut away that garment too, leaving Valentina naked except for her underwear.

Appreciative whistles reach Valentina’s ears and make a fresh wave of tears fall from her eyes. She tries to bend, to curl in on herself and somehow cover her body, but she has nowhere to go. All she manages is to rub her wrists even more raw than they already are. 

“Wow, mija,” Alacraán says, circling her like a vulture and letting his fingers trail over the skin of her back and her stomach. “You are beautiful. Isn’t she, boys?” 

Valentina hears more laughs and lowers her head in shame. 

“Your sister, you… it must be a family feature.” 

Valentina frowns at the mention of Eva but she doesn’t dare look up, too terrified to even try to ask for an explanation. Alacrán smiles at the way he had her cowering in front of him, and walks around her again to stop behind her. He uses his fingers to trace the vertebrae of her spine, from her nape all the way down to the waistband of her panties. Then he leans in. 

“Believe me,” he whispers in her ear, “ruining you is going to hurt me almost as much as this is going to hurt you.”

He moves back in front of her and lifts her head up by her hair to make her look at him. He is holding another lit cigarette in his hand, the red tip sending a violent shudder through Valentina’s body, a psychological reaction that she doesn’t know she’ll ever get rid of if she survives this. 

“What should I do with this, princesita?” he says. “Wanna tell me where to put it out? The floor? Or another pretty part of your body?” 

Valentina looks at the flaming tip, watching as the incandescent ashes slowly consume the length of the cigarette and remembering with horror just how agonizing an object so little can be in the hands of a psychopath. A sudden tug at her hair forces her out of her thoughts and she finds herself face to face with Alacrán, barely inches away. 

“Do you want me to put it out in your eye?” he says, breathing heavily against her face. His lips stretch into a smile. “Or in your friend’s eye?” 

The unexpected threat doesn’t just take Valentina by surprise. It awakens something within her, shaking her from the inside and bringing that simmering anger that had been suppressed by pain and fear to the surface. Caution and rage battle inside her for a moment. She lets rage win.

Without thinking, she clenches her jaw and spits right in Alacrán’s face.

Alacrán stumbles back in surprise and lets out a loud curse. He rubs the spit out of his face and stares first at his hand and then at Valentina, in complete disbelief at what she just did. His eyes quickly dart across his men, checking to see if anyone is laughing at what Valentina just did. No one meets his stare, they all keep their eyes down, avoiding any danger of triggering their boss’ outburst against them. It works and he moves back his focus on Valentina, his face now twisted in blind rage. 

He lets the cigarette fall and storms towards her. Valentina tries to brace herself but she still isn’t prepared for the pain that explodes in her face when his fist hits her, splitting her upper lip open and making her taste her own blood. She has no time to recover, because Alacrán grabs at her neck and bends it backwards, so that he can look down at her while towering over her. 

“You think you’re brave, bitch?” he hisses two inches away from her face, keeping Valentina still in that strained position. “I’m gonna break you in ways you cannot even think of. I’m gonna do things to you that will make you wish you were dead.” 

Valentina grimaces at the threat and the pain in her neck and face. She tries to pull away but he tugs even more harshly, forcing her still and making her eyes sting with tears.

“And when you finally tell me where your friend is, because you’re going to tell me, I’m gonna make you watch while I hurt her. Over and over and over.” 

More than the threat itself, it is the pure conviction behind Alacrán’s words to terrify Valentina. The tears that had been burning behind her eyes fall down her temple beyond her control, making Alacrán grin when he catches sight of them.

He stares at their path down Valentina’s skin for a few seconds. Then, abruptly, he lets go of Valentina and steps away. 

“Hold her,” he says again to his men, reaching inside his pocket to get another cigarette. 

“No…” Valentina whimpers when he lights it up and moves close to her. She tries to step back but two men appear to her sides and keep her in place. 

“Hold her very still,” Alacrán orders before looking into Valentina’s horrified eyes with a smile. “I don’t wanna make a mess.” 

When he grabs at her left breast, Valentina lets out an inhuman scream. She starts thrashing around harder than ever before, careless of the pain and exhaustion. It’s all useless. The chains keep her stuck, and she is no match for the three men. 

Alacrán takes his time, stretching the moment to prolong Valentina’s terror. Her heart is beating so hard that Alacrán can see her chest move evidently with each erratic thump. 

“No!” Valentina cries again, closing her eyes and sobbing desperately but it’s useless, and after smiling again, Alacrán presses the tip of the cigarette on the patch of skin above Valentina’s nipple.

Valentina’s body goes rigid for a moment. Then, pain like she had never felt before hits her, shattering her mind, nullifying her defiance. There is nothing she can do against the overwhelming agony. A blood-curling scream tears its way out of her throat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here comes the new chapter, the longest so far. This is definitely less dark and violent than the last one so I hope you’ll appreciate the change. There are part that were very emotional to write, I hope you’re gonna like reading as much as I liked writing this one.
> 
> Enjoy and let me know your thoughts!

Valentina comes to with a wave of pain that makes her regret opening her eyes to begin with. Dizziness takes over right away and forces her to squeeze her eyelids shut, immediately followed by a nauseating feeling at the pit of her stomach as her body tries to adjust to the throbbing ache that seems to consume her. Just trying to breathe properly takes up all her energy during those long, painful seconds right after waking up, and it is only when she weakly tries to move her limbs that she realizes she is lying down.

Pain flares up from the burns on her body with the small movement, so intense it leaves her gasping for air and forces a heaving cough out of her throat. Her eyes sting with a fresh wave of tears, but latching on to the ounce of strength she has left, she fights against the need to just lie still and pass out, and instead pulls herself up.

The effort takes almost everything out of Valentina, causing an immediate pounding in her head that threatens to make her sick. Her arms buckle and almost give in underneath her, but somehow, she manages to keep herself upright and settle into a half-sitting half-lying position. The ache in her head doesn’t pass, she simply waits to get used to it after keeping still for a couple minutes, and when bright spots stop dancing before her eyes, she looks down and finally takes in her conditions. She is still in the same room they dragged her in when she got there, but this time, she is lying on a mattress, or what remains of it.

The surface is ripped and worn in several places, blood and other stains cover the once-light fabric, and a rusty spring has punched through the material and is scratching at her thigh. Valentina doesn’t remember being placed there. The last memory she has is of Alacrán putting out yet another cigarette on her body, one too many that had caused her consumed body to give in and make her pass out. Even tilting her head down to look at herself causes her to wince in pain, but a tiny feeling of relief washes over her when she realizes someone has put a large, dirty shirt on her. The fabric is coarse, itchy, and it hurts horribly where it has stuck to the multitude of wounds on her back, but Valentina gladly welcomes the pain in exchange for not being naked anymore. She can still hear the men’s crude comments about her body, feel Carlos’ hands on her and later Alacrán’s, when he had grabbed at her to burn her.

The memory of those feelings makes Valentina flinch violently and she ends up pushing her thigh even more into the sharp tip of the broken spring. The stinging pain on her skin instinctively makes her try to pull her leg away, but it is only in that moment that she realizes she can’t. She tries to tug her left leg to her chest, but something keeps her from doing so. It all becomes clear when she looks down the length of her leg and spots a metal cuff around her ankle, connected to a long chain bolted into the wall.

Valentina only stares at the chain for a moment. It makes a rattling sound when she moves her leg again, and the metal ring immediately digs harder into her ankle when she tries another sharp tug. Neither the cuff nor the end attached to the wall give any signs of yielding. The new restraint doesn’t just hurt her ankle; Valentina quickly becomes aware of a sharp throbbing in her wrists, bruised and scraped by the hours spent hanging in from the ceiling. She isn’t sure whether the pain she is feeling is physical or a phantom sensation, but it hurts enough to feel real.

Valentina’s throat clogs up with the sudden need to cry. The pain is there, present and horrible, but the emotional response she gets is close to unbearable; a type of fear that verges on panic and despair, triggered by being trapped again in a similar fashion to before, when men she didn’t think could be so evil took advantage of her helplessness to hurt her senselessly.

Careless of her body’s protests, Valentina sits up in a rush and reaches for the cuff around her ankle with trembling fingers. She pulls at it and tries to break it open using all the strength she has, groaning with desperate frustration when all she manages is to scratch her fingers on the metal dents. She doesn’t give in though, too distraught to care about the logic of her actions. She pulls at the cuff again, and then at the chain, tugging with both hands and straining herself until veins pop up under the skin of her neck. She lifts a foot and uses it for leverage against the wall, but despite her resolution, her exhausted body betrays her and she slips, falling back down on the mattress with a cry. The chain remains intact against all her efforts.

Valentina just lies on her side for several long moments, panting out in exhaustion. All she managed was to wear herself out and remind herself of just how powerless she truly is. With everything these men already did to her, somehow Valentina finds this one of their cruelest actions. She wouldn’t be able to go anywhere even if they left her unchained, and yet they chose to restrain her, to rub in the fact that she is completely at their mercy, and they have none for her. Her fingers clench around her shirt, tighter and tighter until she can feel her fingernails against her palm even through the fabric. They can even choose when to allow or not allow her to wear clothes.

It is one of the feelings Valentina loathes the most, helplessness. She has felt helpless so many time throughout her life: her mother’s cancer, her dad’s murder, Lucho’s violence, her depression. More than anything, she wants to fight against that feeling, now when it is at its strongest, but when she tells herself to move and try again to get free, her wounded body screams in pain and forces her to stay still and catch her breath.

She doesn’t know how many burns mar her body, she had lost count almost from the start, too busy with screaming and begging Alacrán to stop. But he had kept going, until Valentina had felt like her entire body had been set on fire. Blinking slowly, Valentina’s gaze moves down and she casts her eyes on her inner thigh. Her skin is marked there too. Her stomach twists again when she remembers how Alacrán had kissed her thigh before burning her there. The need to cry comes back even stronger and spreads inside her chest and up her throat with the memory of softer, kinder lips against her skin.

“Juliana…” she whispers under her breath.

The sudden sound of a key unlocking the door makes her jump.

Valentina pulls herself up as quickly as she can despite the burning that spreads over her body with the movement and presses her back against the wall, making herself as small as possible as if that’s going to protect her. Her heart starts hammering into her chest at the prospect of going through more torture so soon. The door creaks open and Valentina’s sight blurs with tears of pure fear. She doesn’t know who she dreads to see more, if Alacrán or Carlos. To her surprise, it’s neither.

Another man steps inside the room and closes the door behind himself, someone Valentina doesn’t remember noticing before. She studies him in wary silence when he turns around and looks at her. He’s younger than she had realized at first, more a boy than a man, maybe her age or even less. He stands by the door for a few moments, fidgeting awkwardly with a tray in his hands. Everything about him differentiates him from the other men holding her hostage, his look, his stance; he doesn’t seem to gloat in her helplessness like the others, he looks rather uncomfortable with it instead.

Valentina has no trust to spare, though, and when the boy moves in her direction, she presses herself even further into the wall and brings her knees to her chest protectively.The movement makes the boy falter in his steps, taken aback by Valentina’s evident apprehension. He lets out a sigh.

“I thought you were still sleeping. I didn’t mean to—”

“I wasn’t sleeping, I passed out after your friends tortured me.” 

Valentina’s voice is bitter, venomous. After what they did to her, she has no patience for false kindness. The spiteful comment makes the boy look down in guilt. He worries at his bottom lip with his teeth for a couple seconds, seemingly conflicted about what to do.

“Right,” he says, meeting Valentina’s gaze for a moment before diverting his eyes again. Valentina wonders if all the pain they inflicted on her has somehow damaged her soul because she doesn’t feel an ounce of compassion for him, she only finds him pathetic.

“I’m Gabriel,” the boy says when he finally finds the courage to hold Valentina’s stare. Valentina doesn’t reply. She remains quiet and keeps looking at him with suspicion when he takes one more step and extends the arm that’s holding the tray. “I brought you food.”

He chances taking another step forward, and when Valentina doesn’t move, he walks all the way to the mattress and crouches down, placing the tray in front of Valentina. Valentina’s body is completely rigid, straining like a bowstring and ready to react if he were to try anything. He doesn’t but he also doesn’t move away, staying in a crouching position far too close for comfort. Valentina has been pushed in such a state of constant dread that even taking her eyes away to look at the tray makes her anxious. Gabriel seems to notice though, because he gestures at the tray and finally stands up, stumbling backwards.

“It’s just soup and water,” he explains, and finally Valentina dares to look down at the tray in front of her. She finds exactly what he said, a bowl with a mushy-looking soup, a paper glass filled with water and a wooden spoon.

“There’s nothing else inside it if you’re worried, it’s just—” Valentina’s eyes dart up to look at him, confused by his words.

“I made it. It’s clean, I promise.”

It’s only then that she realizes he’s referring to drugs. The reassurance somehow does nothing except send a shudder down her spine. She hadn’t even considered the possibility that they might be drugging her food to make her more pliant to interrogation. Her stomach clenches and unclenches painfully with hunger pangs, but somehow the idea of consuming their food is only revolting to her.

“I don’t like what they’re doing to you,” he suddenly whispers. Valentina sees the sincerity in his eyes and chuckles bitterly.

“Then let me go.”

The bluntness of her request takes Gabriel by surprise. He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, looking like a wordless fish for a moment.

“I— I can’t do that,” he says, baffled that she even asked. “Even if I wanted, they wouldn’t let me…” He grows quiet when he notices that Valentina has stopped giving him attention and has gone back to staring at the food. Explanations and empty apologies won’t get her out of there, they only make her situation more bitter.

“Why don’t you just tell them?”

Valentina meets Gabriel’s eyes.

“Are you really asking that?” she whispers. Gabriel just nods and shrugs.

“What they’re doing to you is so… you could make it stop.”

Valentina studies his face, searching his eyes for a hidden meaning behind what he just said, for a devious reason behind his words.

“Did they send you to try to convince me?”

Gabriel’s eyes go wide and he frantically shakes his head.

“What? No! I just—” A flush spreads over his cheeks and ears, making him look even younger than he probably is. He has to look away and take a deep breath to be able to form a coherent sentence.

“I just don’t get why you’re letting them do this to you.”

The word he used, _letting_ , as if she has any choice in being hurt like this, spreads a feeling of revulsion through Valentina’s body and makes her visibly grimace.

“You could end it. I think Alacrán meant it when he said he’d let you go.”

“And subject someone I… care about to this?”

Valentina wants to use another word, but the love she feels for Juliana is something too pure and genuine to be brought up in this place and risk tainting it with this filth. She doesn’t want these men close to what she and Juliana have, she doesn’t even want them to know about it, not even someone as naive as Gabriel.

“If you think I could do that, then you’ve never cared about anyone in your life,” she finishes, harshly enough that he looks away with evident shame written all over his face. He doesn’t try to defend himself this time, he just rubs at the back of his neck with his hand and fidgets in place. He doesn’t meet her stare again, but Valentina catches his line of sight and realizes he is nevertheless looking at her, at her body.

“They’re going to ruin you.”

Whatever glimpse of pity Valentina might have felt for the boy, it melts away and turns into a wave of disgust with the realization that he is no better than the others, looking at her like nothing more than a body; to keep intact rather than to break but nonetheless, just a body, not a person who’s wearing away with each torment inflicted on her.

“I’ll come back in thirty minutes,” Gabriel says clearing his throat and taking a step back. “You should eat your soup while it’s hot.”

Valentina doesn’t make a single movement towards the tray, she doesn’t even look at it. She can feel her eyes starting to prickle with a newfound need to cry. She keeps staring at him as he walks all the way back to the door, only to stop before going out. He turns around and gestures in the direction of her body.

“They’re going to hurt you again, worse next time. Don’t let them.” Then, without waiting for a reply that was never going to come, he exits the room and closes the door behind him.

Valentina doesn’t move. She keeps staring blankly in the direction of the door, but her eyes aren’t taking in any detail. Gabriel’s words seem to have awakened every burn and wound on her body at once, reminding her just how deeply she was hurt. The marks on her breast and thigh had been the most excruciating, but there is one that hurts her even more, scarring her on a much more intimate level.

Slowly, Valentina brings her hand up and tentatively places her fingers behind her ear. She immediately feels the rough ring of burned skin underneath her pads, and even with how light her touch is, it makes pain flare up from the wound all across the skin of her neck. Valentina doesn’t pull away, though. She keeps her fingers there, letting herself grow numb to the throbbing. Even if she gets out of there, even if she survives, that mark is going to scar. It will stay there forever, to be felt every time someone touches her behind her ear. And that’s all she can think about, a soft thumb rubbing back and forth on that specific spot.

_“I love when you do that.”_

_“What?”_

_Valentina moves her hand up and rests her fingers over Juliana’s, gently tracing the length of Juliana’s thumb as the other girl caresses the patch of skin behind Valentina’s ear._

_“This,” Valentina explains, and her chest swells with a wave of love when Juliana smiles bashfully and a soft blush spreads over her cheeks._

_“Yeah?” Juliana asks, looking at her with a tenderness in her dark eyes Valentina still cannot handle without feeling a flutter in her stomach._

_Valentina nods, scooting closer to Juliana so they’re resting their heads on the same pillow._

_“It’s one of my favorite things. It feels like that’s your spot now.”_

_Juliana laughs quietly, hiding her face into the pillow for a moment before going back to looking at Valentina with even brighter eyes._

_“Do I really do it that often?” she asks, keeping her hand on Valentina’s neck without ceasing the soft movement of her thumb. Valentina nods and Juliana smiles again. “I hadn’t even realized it.”_

_“It’s…” Valentina hesitates, trying to find the right word to convey what that gesture makes her feel, the reason why she loves it so deeply. It’s hard to find a word that explains how Juliana is able to make her feel so completely loved through something so small and simple. Especially now, after spending the night together for the first time, Valentina appreciates and cherishes Juliana’s softness, so in contrast with everything she had been used to. It gives her the certainty that she was wrong the whole time, that true love isn’t an invention. She feels it right now. In the way Juliana is looking at her, in how completely at peace she feels just lying naked next to her, in the tender caress behind her ear._

_“Soothing,” Valentina finally says, leaning in for a small, soft kiss that makes both girls smile against each other’s lips. “It feels like home.”_

A tear tumbles down Valentina’s cheek with the memory, immediately followed by another and another until she is crying without doing anything to stop it. The lump in her throat grows to a painful degree and turns into a choked sob that resonates in the quiet room. Valentina had already cried the night they had left her chained to the ceiling, she had let herself feel fear and pain at their fullest already, but it’s different this time. It’s not fear to trigger her crying, it’s anger.

Anger and despair rising inside her like a mounting wave, demanding an outlet with each loud sob that forces its way out of her mouth. For one moment of true joy and peace she had, the universe repaid her with constant suffering, punishing her for daring to be happy. She had never thought it could be possible to feel as much anger and despair as what she is experiencing now, and the fact the weeks of anguish she lived before being kidnapped seem kind when compared to her current fate only adds to her blind rage, too much cruelty to experience at once bringing her to her breaking point.

The sobs grow louder and louder, until even that isn’t enough anymore and a cry tears its way out of Valentina’s throat. She embraces that anger and screams again, grabbing the tray and smashing it against the wall. The bowl cracks and shatters, its contents and the water splattering everywhere, but Valentina doesn’t care. She is frantic, rabid in her despair. Her hands fly to the chain and she pulls at it again, yanking it and shaking her leg violently with every scream, careless of the way she is pointlessly straining her body. She is a wild, caged animal, she’d snap her teeth around anyone’s throat if they tried to approach her now, but she is alone, abandoned to her own pain and anger to wreck herself even more than she already is.

Her body is too weak and exhausted to sustain her feral fury for too long and eventually it gives in, collapsing on itself without any strength left to keep it up. Her throat is rubbed raw by the time she falls down on the mattress, she lacks the energy to even keep screaming but even like this, the quiet sobs keep coming. Her eyes are blurry with tears but she is still able to see and _feel_ the disaster she caused to her ankle, rubbed raw and bleeding with her delirious attempts at escaping.

Valentina closes her eyes and wraps her arms around herself, desperate for the comfort of a soft touch. Her mind goes to Juliana again, to her gentle hands and delicate eyes and now more than ever she wishes she could bury her face into Juliana’s neck and melt away into the comfort of her touch. 

A whimper tumbles from her lips when she realizes she’s likely never going to do that again. Her choices seem to have cut down to dying a slow, horrible death or giving in to her torturers’ demands and watching Juliana die a slow, horrible death. She wants to believe her family will notice her disappearance and someone will come to rescue her but this place seems built to crush and destroy any shrivel of hope she clings to.

Valentina spends endless minutes just lying there not moving, trying her best not to think because even her thoughts hurt her at this point. She is aware that time is passing only thanks to the water stain slowly drying on the mattress. With it comes the knowledge that soon Gabriel will come back; she doesn’t fear him, but she knows that others will come after him, and the cycle of torture will start again.

Slowly, Valentina forces herself out of her petrified state and works her body in a sitting position, refusing to just wait in an even more powerless condition than the one she’s already stuck in. She sucks in a sharp breath and rubs the tears out of her red eyes to clear her vision. When she does, she notices the spoon in front of her.

The wooden handle has splintered and bent in the middle, the upper part of it hanging on just barely. For a moment, Valentina only stares at the broken object, then the beginning of a thought starts taking shape in her mind. She leans forward and grabs the spoon. It’s long, and its base is solid in her hand, thinner in the part where it cracked. Valentina tightens her hold on the lower part of the spoon, then grabs the round part and bends it using all the strength she has. The wooden handle makes a snapping sound and then it breaks in two, leaving a sharp tip where the top of the spoon used to be.

Valentina throws away the useless part and inspects what’s left of the handle. She tests the tip of it with her finger pad; it’s not satisfying yet so she rubs its sides against the rough surface of the wall, back and forth with enough friction that when she tests it again, the tip of the handle is sharp enough it stings her finger pad.

Her heartbeat ticks up. She doesn’t want to delude herself but holding the makeshift weapon in her hand is the first thing to give her a glimmer of hope since she was brought there. She knows she only has one chance and she is terrified of ruining it, but dying there without trying anything at all is something she refuses to do. So she hides the handle under the mattress, just within reach, and waits.

The minutes scrape by agonizingly slow for Valentina, more tense and alert with each second that passes, but eventually, the door opens again and Gabriel enters the room.

He immediately takes in the mess she made with the food, and rushes to her. Valentina holds her breath as he looks around her, silently praying he won’t notice the missing part of the spoon. She swallows back a sigh of relief when it becomes clear he hasn’t.

“What did you do?” he asks, grimacing when he catches sight of her bleeding ankle.

“I… I lost control,” Valentina replies, adding some trembling to her voice. It’s not hard, she is on the edge already and the fear she feels is real. “I thought about what you said and it terrified me. I just lost it for a moment.”

Gabriel looks at Valentina with the same discomfort she had seen in his eyes before, only more intense this time. He seems to understand why she would need to do that, and yet he’s not going to do anything to help her. It repels her.

“You shouldn’t have thrown away your food. I don’t know when they’re gonna let me give you more,” Gabriel says with a sigh. Valentina meets his gaze and forces herself to look at him apologetically. She can see it get under his skin right away. He squeezes his eyes shut and pinches at the bridge of his nose, like he is lost in some important thought.

“I’ll see about making some for you now,” he eventually says. “I doubt they’ll let you starve anyway, they don’t want you dead.”

His words make Valentina shudder in fear, knowing very well the only reason why he’s right is that they want to hurt her more before getting rid of her. She feels the sting of tears in her eyes again, but she quickly blinks it away and turns it into a grateful look directed at Gabriel.

“Thank you,” she says, making her voice soft. “You are so kind to me.”

Valentina sees him blush all the way to his ears. She has no idea how she looks like right now, she can only imagine horribly, pale and tired and covered in wounds, but a small smile and a mellow voice seem to be enough to affect the boy in front of her. It’s not enough for what she needs, though. He isn’t close enough.

“I’ll… I’ll go make it and be right back,” Gabriel says, turning around to make his way to the door again.

“Wait!” Valentina almost yells, stopping him in his track. She bites at her lip and silently curses at herself for letting slip her desperate urge through her voice, but she is quick to regain control over herself, and when Gabriel turns back and looks at her, she has her act on again.

“Could you please do something for me before you go?”

Gabriel’s features twist in confusion, a silent question in his eyes, so Valentina moves from her spot against the wall and gestures at her bleeding ankle.

“It hurts…” she says with the softest, most begging voice she can manage.

She sees the conflict fill his eyes right away.

“I’m— no, I’m sorry, I cannot unchain you. They won’t allow it, it’ll get me in trouble.”

Valentina’s heart drops in the pit of her stomach, seeing her plan start to fade away with just one rejection, but she refuses to give up so quickly. She is too desperate to just accept failure like this. All she needs is one shot.

“Please…” she begs again. “If you can’t free me, at least loosen it. It hurts more every second.” The pain that fills her voice is genuine, she lets herself feel it fully to make her performance as convincing as possible.

“I have nowhere to go anyway.”A mirthless chuckle comes out of her mouth as she gestures around her. “I’m stuck here.”

Gabriel seems torn by Valentina’s plea, his eyes moving back and forth between the door behind him and Valentina’s bleeding ankle.

“Please, Gabriel,” Valentina whispers and Gabriel’s eyes move to her face. She swallows back bile and blinks slowly, leaning in as much as she can. “I’ll make it worth the trouble.”

Valentina feels her stomach churn the second she says those words but she ignores the nausea and keeps her eyes on him. Gabriel’s eyes go wide with the clear allusion and he bites nervously at his bottom lip, clearly divided between clashing thoughts. When eventually he takes a deep breath and nods, Valentina’s hearts starts beating so fast she thinks it will punch through her chest.

She scoots forward and kneels just at the edge of the mattress, waiting as he makes his way towards her and pulls a key ring from his pocket. There are only two keys attached to it.

He leans down and reaches for the cuff around Valentina’s ankle. Valentina holds back a hiss of pain when he unlocks it and loosens the metal that dug into her skin. It hurts but she doesn’t care. The cuff is open and he isn’t looking at her.

“You don’t have to do anything. I’m not like them, I don’t—”

Gabriel’s words turn into a scream of pain when Valentina pulls the wooden handle from under the mattress and stabs his thigh, jabbing it in as deep as she can.

She doesn’t give Gabriel time to realize what happened and uses all her strength to push at his sane leg, making him lose his balance and collapse to the ground with a cry. Taking advantage of his momentary vulnerability, she yanks her leg free from the open cuff and grabs the keys, then she makes a run for the door.

Her body is weak, broken by all the torture and immobility and Valentina trips and falls down the second she stands up and takes a couple of steps. She hits her shoulder with a thud that knocks the breath out of her lungs, the skin of her knee is scraped away by the rough surface of the floor, but she ignores the pain and pulls herself up, running solely on adrenaline and fear.

“Wait!” Gabriel yells behind her, letting out another cry of pain when he yanks the piece of wood out of his leg. Valentina hears him get up and go after her but she doesn’t turn around. She runs as fast as she can towards the door and pushes it open, throwing her body outside while her heart hammers in her chest a mile a minute.

She turns around to close the door and sees that Gabriel has almost caught up with her. He throws an arm forward to stop her, but Valentina is faster and shoves the door shut, pressing her body against it and locking it with the key. Barely a second after closing it, Gabriel’s body impacts with the door from the other side, making Valentina jump and drop the keys from her already trembling hands.

“Let me out!” he screams, banging on the door but his words are muffled, barely audible through the thick metal and Valentina isn’t listening anyway. 

She leans down and fumbles to pick up the keys, breathing raggedly as she tries to recover from the rush of adrenaline. She squeezes her eyes shut and waits for the lightheadedness to fade away; it’s only when her breathing starts slowing down that she is hit with the realization that she made it, she is out.

She doesn’t relax nor does her heartbeat slow down, well aware that she still has to get out of the building. For the first time since getting out of the room, she takes in her surroundings. She is at the very end of a dark corridor with nothing but ventilation pipes attached to the dirty walls. Beads of sweat collect on her forehead and chest as anxiety builds when she realizes she can only go one way and is completely exposed. She tightens her hand into a fist, suddenly wishing she still had her makeshift weapon with her, but clinging to every bit of courage she has, Valentina carefully starts making her way down the hallway.

She walks with her heart in her throat until she reaches the end corner and turns right, only to find herself on an even longer hallway, ending on a metal door just like the one of the room she was locked in. Valentina starts moving in that direction but her eyes go wide with horror when the door suddenly starts opening with a clanging sound. She rushes back around the corner and squeezes her body against the wall, pressing a hand over her mouth when she hears the sound of heavy steps making their way down the hallway. Laughs and male voices resonates in the air; Valentina’s heart fills with dread when she clearly recognizes Mugres’.

Valentina closes her eyes and holds as still as possible, waiting in horror for the men to turn around the corner and catch her, but it never happens. She hears the creaking of a door being opened and closed again and then the voices die down, until she can barely hear anything above the thudding of her heart in her chest.

She blinks back the tears that formed in her eyes with the surge of fear but she doesn't dare move for several, eternal seconds. It takes all the bravery she has to eventually lower her hand from her mouth and peek around the corner. She lets out a shuddery breath when she finds it empty. There is a door halfway through the corridor that she hadn’t noticed before, and she can only imagine that’s where the men went. She doesn’t pay much attention to it, though. Her eyes fixate on the door at the end, left slightly ajar after the men came in.

She won’t wait for them to come back and lock it again. She forces her paralyzed body to move and rushes through the corridor, trying to be as quick and silent as she can. She squeezes herself through the narrow opening to avoid moving the door and making dangerous sounds, and once she turns around to figure out where she is, she has to put a hand in front of her eyes to protect herself from a sudden onslaught of natural light.

The bright sun rays of an early afternoon illuminate the big, empty hall Valentina finds herself in, shining through the dusty, broken glasses of the huge windows on the side walls of the room. They blind Valentina for a moment, after spending all that time in a dark cell, but once her reddened eyes eventually recover, Valentina allows herself to feel _true_ hope and relief since her descent into this nightmare. There is a door on the other side of the hall. It’s open, she can see the outside. It’s her way out.

Valentina runs for it with renewed energy. Once outside the building she will get as far away as she can and find help. The pain in her body doesn’t even bother anymore, she is completely focused on one thing only, getting out of there and away from that hell. Once she reaches the door she is confident she will make it.

She only takes one step outside. She collides into a firm body right after running through the door.

For a second, Valentina doesn’t even realize what happened, she just gasps with the impact and tries not to lose her balance as the person she ran into lets out a curse and stumbles on his feet. Then she looks up, and her heart stops in her chest. Carlos is staring right back at her.

Horror makes blood freeze in Valentina’s veins, paralyzing her in place in front of Carlos. His eyes are wide, the surprise and confusion evident in them, and for a moment neither makes a single move.

Valentina is the first to snap out of it, pushing him off with a yell and trying to run away, but she is not fast enough.Carlos’ face twists in anger and he grabs at Valentina’s arm before she can get out of his reach. He yanks her back so hard she thinks her shoulder will pop out of its socket and slams her face first against the building, pinning her to the wall with his front against her back.

“You wanted to take a walk?” he hisses into her ear. Valentina squeezes her eyes against the pain in her shoulder and cheekbone and starts thrashing wildly against his hold, screaming out all her rage and desperation without any restraints.

“Get off of me!” she cries out, trying to push Carlos off, but she is too exhausted and hurt and he is too strong for her. He tightens a hand on the back of her neck and twists her arm behind her back, making her scream with the pain of the unnatural angle.

“Come on,” he says angrily, pulling her away from the wall and dragging her with him. He keeps her body in that strained position, bent forward with her head down, preventing her from putting up any real fight against him. Still, Valentina screams and flails around all the way, numb to the pain in her desperation to not go back to the hellhole she had just escaped.

It’s all pointless and when Carlos shoves her back inside the building and kicks the door shut behind himself, Valentina feels the tears form in her eyes and she screams even louder, emotionally devastated by the failure.

Carlos drags Valentina across the hall and back into the corridor, growing harsher the more Valentina tries to struggle against him. All the noise eventually attracts attention and Mugres and another man show up from the room they had disappeared in.

“What the hell?” Mugres mutters, taking in the sight of Valentina struggling in Carlos’ arms.

“Were you all fucking sleeping or what?” Carlos seethes, giving Valentina a harsh jerk to make her stop fighting so much.

“We didn’t see her…” the other man says confused. “How did she—”

“Yes, I know you didn’t fucking see her,” Carlos cuts him off angrily. “She almost got out, you idiot. You know what would’ve happened to us if she’d made it? Alacrán would’ve fed us to his dogs— and you stop it, bitch!” he yells at Valentina when she tries to push away from him with her free hand, jerking at her hair hard enough to make her cry out with the sudden pain in her scalp.

“Get the fuck out of my face,” Carlos hisses when the narco tries to apologize, “You’re lucky I caught her on time. I don’t wanna see you here when I’m back.”

Then, he goes back to dragging Valentina across the hallway, Mugres following behind them unlike the other man who obeyed Carlos’ demands. When they eventually reach the door of her cell, Valentina’s angry yells turn into a desperate sob as all her hopes get crushed for good.

Mugres gets the key from Carlos and unlocks the door, stepping inside first, then Carlos pushes his way inside the room, dragging Valentina with him. He freezes in his tracks when he catches sight of Gabriel sitting on the floor with a bleeding wound on his thigh, and the boy’s eyes go wide with fear when he sees the older man. He stands up as fast as he can and limps towards them, shaking like a leaf.

“Carlos…”

“You lost something,” Carlos says with a cold voice, then he throws Valentina across the floor in Gabriel’s direction. Valentina hits the floor violently and her body rolls once on the rough surface until she stops and lands on her side. She squeezes her eyes and winces in pain but she fights against it and pulls herself in a sitting position, backing away from both men as quickly as she can.

“Carlos, I tried to—”

Carlos doesn’t let Gabriel finish and grabs at his neck, cutting off the boy’s breath and squeezing hard enough that his face immediately flares red.

“Not a word unless I’m asking you,” Carlos whispers threateningly, then he pushes the boy away, making him stumble and fall while Mugres merely watches the scene and chuckles in amusement. 

Carlos ignores him and Gabriel’s coughing fit, and instead moves his eyes back to Valentina. She notices his stare and tries to get away from him but he is faster and grabs her ankle, dragging her body while she screams and fights until he reaches the mattress again. He shoves her on it and grabs the long chain Valentina had worked so hard on getting free from. She tries to struggle and kick at him when she realizes what he wants to do, but Carlos deflects her blows and locks her leg in his arm. In a matter of seconds, the cuff is back around her ankle, even tighter than it was before.

Valentina instinctively tries to yank her leg free right away but she knows just how pointless it is by now, her body is driven by despair rather than logic. Carlos instead gets up and lets out a chuckled sigh, visibly more relaxed now that Valentina is trapped again.

“Well that was close,” he says, turning around to look at Mugres.

“You’re crazy,” the other man replies, pulling out a cigarette and leaning against the wall with an amused expression. Carlos laughs at the comment and goes back to staring at Valentina, tilting his head to take in her helpless state.

“So you’re even more feisty than I thought,” he says, but Valentina doesn’t reply. She doesn’t even meet his stare, keeping her eyes, red with tears, on the metal cuff that’s making her ankle bleed anew.

“How did you get out of that?”

When Valentina doesn’t answer, Carlos turns around and moves his eyes on Gabriel.

“How did she get out of that?”

The boy, now on his feet, cowers in on himself, keeping his stare locked on to his feet and trembling even harder than before.

“She stabbed me,” he whispers feebly, biting back a whimper when Carlos walks towards him.

“She stabbed you,” Carlos repeats, looking at the boy’s wound and then at the bloodied piece of wood on the floor. He doesn’t comment on it, just staring quietly at it for a couple seconds. Then, his eyes are back on Gabriel.

“And how did she get the cuff open?”

When his question is only met with silence, he steps even closer to the boy, until he is standing right before him. He doesn’t have to repeat himself, the movement is enough to scare Gabriel into explaining.

“She… she convinced me,” he whimpers with such a scared, whiny voice that Valentina feels the slightest pang of guilt over what she did. She has learned on her skin just how terrifying it is to be on the receiving end of Carlos’ anger and just thinking about it makes her shudder in fear.

“How did she convince you?”

Gabriel starts crying with the question and Mugres suddenly lets out a loud laugh in response to it.

“She probably promised Gabrielito here that she’d make him feel real good, am I right princess?”

Valentina’s face twists in anger and disgust but she refuses to answer, to even look at him or Carlos despite feeling their stares burning into her.

“Is that so…” Carlos says, searching Gabriel’s face. “Mugres got it right, didn’t he?”

“Carlos, please—”

Gabriel looks up to apologize, but the moment he does, Carlos throws his head forward and head-butts the boy right on the nose, breaking it immediately with the force of the impact. An awful cracking sound resonates in the room and a gush of blood spurts out of Gabriel’s nose, covering his mouth and chin as Gabriel brings his hand up in shock. He doesn’t even have the time to register the pain because Carlos hits him again, punching him across the face hard enough to make him fall down and then kicking him in the stomach. The explosion of violence is so sudden and brutal that even Valentina finds herself flinching and needing to look away, the instinct to tell Carlos to stop itching at the back of her throat even if she knows Gabriel is one of them.

“Is she still worth it, boy?” Carlos says, kicking Gabriel again. “Do you still wanna fuck her?”

He stops hitting the boy only when he is black and blue with bruises and leans down, lifting his head up by his hair and making him look at Valentina.

“Next time you feel soft for her, remember she did this to you.”

Valentina meets Gabriel’s gaze, feeling a surge of distress with the look of pain and betrayal in the boy’s only open eye, the other already swelling shut with the violence of Carlos’ blows.

Carlos notices the boy’s stare and lets out a quiet laugh.

“Something tells me you’re gonna be the first in line to watch Alacrán hurt the princess next time he’s here.”

“I’ll make sure he is,” Mugres adds with a chuckle and Carlos finally lets Gabriel go with a rough shove.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he says, smiling with the way the boy scrambles on his feet despite all the pain in his body and hurriedly limps out of the room without looking back. He and Mugres laugh together once the boy is out of the room.

“Fucking Gabriel,” Carlos says shaking his head. “That boy needs to find himself a girl.” 

Then he turns around and looks at Valentina.

“Don’t you feel bad, princess? That idiot just wanted to be nice to you and you almost got him killed.” Valentina looks away from him, her features twisting in anger and disgust for everything he is, but her evident repulsion only makes Carlos laugh. “I didn’t know you were such a bad girl.”

“And a nasty one, too,” Mugres says, leering at Valentina from his spot against the wall.

“Right…” Carlos whispers, and Valentina feels a tremor run down her spine with the quiet excitement she can hear in his voice. She flinches instinctively when he takes one step in her direction. “Are you gonna try that with me too? Convince me to let you go with some juicy offer?”

Valentina grits her teeth together to the point of pain and then looks up, clinging to all the hatred she feels for him to build the courage to hold his stare.

“I’d rather die.”

Mugres explodes in a loud laugh at that, while Carlos’ lips curl up into a wide grin, both evidently entertained by Valentina’s defiance. It only makes Valentina even more uncomfortable than she already is and she squirms in place, nervously clenching and unclenching her fists the longer they keep making fun of her.

“You’re not charming enough for her, Carlos,” Mugres says chuckling. Carlos only shrugs, though, keeping his eyes on Valentina.

“That’s alright. Anything she could offer I can take anyway. I just have to wait for Alacrán’s word.”

Valentina swallows down a whimper, forcing back the tears with the evident threat hiding behind Carlos’ words. She loathes how vulnerable she is, how despite all her efforts she is in an even worse situation than before, stuck with men who could do anything they want to her at any time. She knows it, they know it.

“Who do you think is nastier?” Mugres suddenly asks Carlos. “The princesita or her sister?”

Valentina freezes. The unexpected mention of Eva makes her eyes go wide as a wave of dread rushes through her. The thought of these men getting close to her sister or any other person she loves scares her far more than anything they could do to her.

“What do you mean?” she asks, and Mugres’ silent grin causes a surge of anger within her that makes her get up and try to lash at him, held back only by the chain around her leg.

“I swear, if you get anywhere near my sister—”

The sudden, loud laugh both Mugres and Carlos let out at her threat makes her frown in confusion, only adding to her frustration and anger.

“It’s a little too late for that, chiquita,” Mugres says, rubbing a tear of hilarity out of his eye. Valentina feels her chest tighten with the dreadful prospect of Eva already being in their hands. She doesn’t even care about the hateful way they separated the last time they saw each other. She just want her big sister to be safe.

“If you hurt her…” Valentina chokes out but Carlos cuts her off.

“Don’t worry, princess. No one’s getting hurt. At least not that I know of. I have no idea what kinky stuff Alacràn is into in bed.”

Blood freezes in Valentina’s veins.

“What?” she whispers, barely any sound to her words. A smile stretch even wider on Carlos’ face with her reaction.

“They’ve been fucking, baby girl.”

Valentina feels like she cannot breathe. Her throat constricts to a painful degree and her stomach twists in to a knot. The dizziness comes back even stronger than before as this reveal threatens to make her collapse with the violence of the shock. She feels herself shaking her head slowly, outside of the control of her muscles. Her mouth is open but no words come out of it. She cannot believe what Carlos just said. Every cell of her body rejects it.

“No…” she chokes out, swallowing against the sudden dryness in her mouth. “No, it’s not—”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Carlos laughs mockingly, making Valentina flinch visibly. “Your sister has been the boss’ plaything for years now. I think she’s even in love with him. What an idiot.”

A tear falls down from Valentina’s unblinking eyes. She refuses to believe Carlos’ words. Even with all their fights and misunderstanding, she just cannot believe that Eva would willingly involve herself with someone as horrible as Alacràn, someone who made Juliana’s life a living hell and the same person responsible for the torture _she_ is going through. And yet her mind travels beyond her control to all the conversations she’d had with Mateo about Eva being distant, her sister’s constant secrecy, the phone calls abruptly cut off whenever she or someone else would walk in the room. Then she remembers Alacràn’s comments about Eva.

More than anything in the world now Valentina wants to believe Carlos is lying. She _needs_ him to be lying. She needs this to be just another attempt at manipulating her. But it’s such an absurd, extreme scenario that it doesn’t ring as anything but true to her. The realization makes her want to throw up.

“You’re lying,” she whispers without any sort of conviction in her voice. Carlos just smiles at her.

“Alacràn has a sweet tooth for your sister. Can’t blame him, she’s beautiful.” He then looks up and down her body, his smile growing wider when he spots the tear on her cheek. “Personally princess, you’re my favorite. I can’t wait to taste you.”

Valentina is so wrapped in her own shock she is even numb to his comment. She doesn’t react even when Carlos and Mugres make their way out of the room laughing. She stands there frozen, just barely flinching when they slam the door shut and lock her in again.

Silence surrounds her, thick and heavy and suffocating her, but inside, she is screaming. She remembers why she is there to begin with, how they caught her alone because Eva didn’t allow her to take the car and go see Juliana. She replays in her mind all the arguments she had with her sister, how she tried to make her feel bad for being in love with Juliana, how she did everything to keep them apart. Her moral high ground.

Valentina forgets the pain, she forgets the fear, it all gets obliterated and replaced by one single, overwhelming feeling. Betrayal.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I’m back! And with me the new chapter of this story. We see more of Juliana in this one. As for the ending, please don’t hate me.
> 
> As usual, enjoy and comment below with what you thought!

It has been three days. Four almost. Almost four days since the last time Juliana saw Valentina. The memory of the other girl finding comfort in Lucho’s arms still hurts every time it crosses Juliana’s mind, but the anger that used to come with it has long abandoned her body, replaced by an increasingly overwhelming feeling of concern, one that keeps growing with every call Valentina doesn’t reply to.

Juliana had lost count of how many times she had tried to reach the other girl by now, always with the same result: that maddening automated reply. Had Valentina purposefully ignored or even declined her calls, Juliana would have been less worried. But Juliana knows Valentina, she knows just how much time she spends on her cellphone, always glued to her hand like an extension of her limb, it makes no sense for her that she would keep it turned off for so many days. After incessantly thinking about it to the point of triggering an almost constant pounding in her head, Juliana had come up with only two alternatives that made sense to her. 

The first one, Valentina had changed phone number and had not bothered to tell Juliana because she was done with her. The second one, something had happened to her. Both options were terrifying in very different ways.

If Valentina had decided to cut her out of her life for good, Juliana would accept it. That’s what she was best at, accepting and enduring the misery of her existence, even when that hollow life promised to be even more unbearable after tasting something that resembled true happiness and then losing it. But if that was Valentina’s choice, she would take it. The alternative though, the idea that something bad might have happened to Valentina, that the reason for her disappearance might be rooted in something horrible, that was just unthinkable.

All her attempts at communicating had failed. Juliana had felt uncomfortably insignificant in Valentina’s life when she had realized she didn’t have the number of any other member of Valentina’s family, no way to reach the other girl if not through her currently dead phone. Had she had her landline even, Juliana would have tried it, even at the risk of finding Eva on the other end of the phone; she would have easily taken her spiteful words in exchange of finding out what happened to Valentina, but that wasn’t an option either.

Sitting on her bed with her knees to her chest, Juliana scrolls through her phone numbers. An overwhelming feeling of loneliness weighs heavy on her when she realizes just how short the list is; until less than a week ago she wouldn’t have cared, all she truly needed was one number, a number now gone. 

Forcing away those uncomfortable thoughts, Juliana suddenly sets her eyes on Sergio’s number. Until then, she had refrained from reaching out to him, not feeling at all like sharing her pain and concerns with Lucho’s best friend. But with each hour that passes her worry intensifies and choosing anger and pride over her one concrete chance of figuring out what happened to Valentina doesn’t just feel petty, it feels stupid.

Juliana taps Sergio’s number and brings her phone to her ear, chewing nervously at her fingernails while she waits. A hissed curse escapes from her lips when her call goes straight to voicemail. Anger and frustration slowly start rising within her again, not just at Sergio or at Valentina, but at their world; she had been taught to always be traceable, because she could never know when something bad might happen. In this and everything else, she had never been able to afford a careless lifestyle.

After trying a couple more times, Juliana lets out a frustrated growl and settles for sending Sergio a message, asking him if he knows anything about Valentina and to call her back as soon as he sees the message. She notices just how straightforward and almost rude her message sounds re-reading it, and she realizes she doesn’t care. Politeness has stopped being a priority for her after having been on the receiving end of the worst of people for so long and for no reason.

Juliana puts her phone down with a sigh and grabs a towel from the chair next to her bed, meaning to take a shower with the hope of feeling better and more focused afterwards, but just as she is about to move towards the tiny bathroom, the screen of her cellphone lights up, catching her attention. She picks up the phone right away, assuming – hoping – to see Sergio’s name on the screen, but she is proven wrong right away and her wishful excitement turns into irritation the second she sees who sent the message.

**_Mom: Call me please, I have to tell you something. It’s important. It’s not about our fight._ **

Juliana cranes her neck back and squeezes her eyes shut, clenching the phone in her hand tight enough to hurt. Her body is buzzing with how exasperated she feels; not a single thing ever seems to go the way she wants, or needs, and instead all she gets is more concerns, piling up over her until she feels like suffocating with how crushing they are.

She opens her eyes and looks at the phone in her hand. It’s not her mother’s first attempt at reaching out. Lupita hadn’t shown up at Perlita’s restaurant again but she hadn’t been able to fully respect Juliana’s boundaries, calling and texting incessantly, and every time Juliana had been explicit about not wanting to talk to her. She had thought her mother had finally understood her request for space when yesterday she hadn’t received any calls or messages, but she should have known it was only a temporary respite. Everything inside her begs her to just ignore the message and head for the shower for at least a few minutes of peace and quiet, but before she can even try to decide to be selfish for once, her phone starts ringing in her hand – her mother again – and too exhausted to even bother being mad, Juliana picks up.

“What?”

_“I wasn’t expecting you to answer, Juli. I’m so happy—”_

“You said you had something important to tell me. What is it?” 

Juliana cuts her mother off right away. She has no time nor energy for pleasantries, let alone to pretend she is happy to be talking to someone who made her feel like her existence is an abomination.

_“Juliana, I’m still your mother. Can we at least—”_

“Tell me or I’m hanging up.”

There is silence on the other end of the phone for several seconds, Juliana can only hear her mother’s breathing, but eventually Lupita lets out what is clearly a resigned sigh. Juliana perceives all her mother’s annoyance within that single sound, she can imagine her clenching her teeth and beating her fist down on the couch or the table, but she is surprised to realize just how little her mother’s feelings affect her in that moment. She just wants to know what her mother wants and be done with it, there is only so much guilt and exhaustion her body and mind can take.

_“Very well, then,”_ Lupita finally says with a colder voice. _“I called to tell you that we’re moving out.”_

That takes Juliana by surprise. Out of all the things she was expecting her mother to say, leaving hadn’t crossed her mind. It should have, considering all the times her mother had talked about wanting to run away, but with everything that had happened, other concerns had taken priority and she had forgotten. The second she hears her mother’s words though, one specific fear sparks up anew.

“What do you mean?” Juliana asks. “Do you want to leave the country? Costa Rica is—”

_“No, nothing like that.”_

Juliana cannot help the sigh of relief that comes out of her mouth with the reassurance that her mother isn’t planning to leave the country. Even if rationally, she would be ready to accept a life without Valentina, her heart isn’t ready to start a life under conditions that would force an absolute detachment from the other girl.

_“Panchito has found us a place to stay,”_ Lupita goes on to explain. _“A nice apartment in the city. I will send you the address since you refuse to have a real conversation with me.”_

Juliana completely ignores her mother’s dig and instead, for the first time since the day Lupita caught her and Valentina kissing in the kitchen, a smile appears on her face. She had been skeptical, distrustful even, about Panchito’s kindness towards her and her mother when he had first stepped into their lives, a lifetime of conditioning to see and expect the worst in people. But she had never been happier of being wrong because Panchito had proven time after time the genuineness of his feelings.

“That’s… that’s a good thing,” Juliana says, shaking her head in disbelief at the good news. “When are you moving out?”

_“As soon as possible. I don’t want to owe anything to that family anymore.”_

Juliana sighs at the contempt that suddenly drenches her mother’s voice. She understands wanting to stand on your own, it has been her way to go throughout her whole life, but the utter lack of gratefulness shown by her mother after everything Valentina and her family did to help them makes her skin itch with irritation.

“Mom…”

_“And that Carvajal girl… after being insulted by her for no reason I have no intention of staying here a minute more than necessary.”_

Juliana freezes. Whatever other distant thought was going through her mind, it all melts away the second she hears Lupita’s words.

“What Carvajal girl?” she asks, frantic. If she was standing in front of her mother, she would physically shake her just to make her speak faster and explain herself. “Did Valentina— Mom, did Valentina come at the house?”

_“No, not Valentina.”_

In less than a second, that flickering hope that had sparked inside Juliana’s heart is crushed and extinguished again by her mother’s words. She feels her eyes fall closed with the intensity of the disappointment but she doesn’t slip again into that state of complete exhaustion; instead, her focus remains sharp, fed not by hope but by an anxious need for an explanation.

“Who th—”

_“Her sister, Eva,”_ Lupita answers before Juliana can even complete the question. _“She was here yesterday and let me tell you, she is one venomous—”_

“Why was she there?” Juliana cuts her mother off, growing more and more restless with each bit of information revealed by her mother.

“Mom, why was Eva there?”

_“She was asking about you. And about Valentina.”_

Juliana’s mouth falls open with the reveal and she feels her mind grow stuck in a place between zoning out and going in overdrive.

_“She thought Valentina was here,”_ Lupita goes on to explain. _“She didn’t even ask, she demanded to see her. When I told her she wasn’t here she pushed me away and stormed inside the house to look for herself, can you believe that? She may be a billionaire but you can’t buy good manners.”_

Juliana doesn’t even take in her mother’s snide remark about Eva’s behavior. All she can think about is the implications behind the woman’s actions. She can see Eva in her mind, standing tall with that look of superiority on her face, ordering her to stay away from Valentina. Not once throughout their conversation had Eva lost her temper; a cold smile and threatening words had been all she had needed. What her mother is describing is something else entirely, though, something that scares Juliana much more than any threats Eva might have conjured against her.

Even when hoping, _praying_ , for the best, Juliana is used to expecting the worst. And Eva storming inside their house to find Valentina sends her mind down a spiral of worst case scenarios that outdo each other in their level of horror.

“She was looking for Valentina?” Juliana asks on a whisper.

_“Yes. She thought you two were hiding together. I assume she knows about your… situation.”_

Juliana ignores her mother’s comment about her relationship with Valentina. Her intolerant views slide over and off Juliana like oil. What sticks to her, like a snake wrapping its coils around her neck and choking her, is the realization that she isn’t the only one looking for Valentina; that she isn’t the only one who hasn’t been able to reach the girl, that even her own family has no clue of her whereabouts, and Eva coming to look for her sister at her house after making it perfectly clear just how much she despises Juliana and her family fills Juliana’s heart not with fear, but with a dreadful certainty that something awful must have happened to Valentina.

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” Juliana chokes out, taking quick, short breaths through gritted teeth.

_“Because Valentina wasn’t here and I knew she wasn’t with you. You told me she was out of your life, and—”_

“You should have told me!” Juliana suddenly explodes, anguish mutating into a wave of anger surging through her body. “You can harass me over and over to try and make me normal but you can’t bother to tell me this?!”

_“That’s not what happened. It wasn’t important so—”_

“You don’t get to decide what is and isn’t important in my life! If you’d told me right away I could have…”

Juliana doesn’t know how to finish the sentence. She squeezes her eyes shut and presses the hand holding the phone against her forehead, hard enough to hurt herself. She can feel tears starting to prickle behind her eyes; whether from fear, anger or frustration, she doesn’t know, but whatever it is, the mix of emotions tormenting her is so intense she feels her body _buzz_ with the need to just break down and sob.

The muffled sound of her mother calling her name through the phone makes Juliana open her eyes again. She rubs her palm over her face and uses all her energies to pull herself together. She puts the phone back to her ear but she is done with the conversation. There is only one thing she wants and can focus on now.

_“Juliana—”_

“You should’ve told me and you know it. Leave me alone.”

Juliana doesn’t wait for her mother’s reply and hangs up on her without a second’s pause. The anger against Lupita remains, a burning pressure inside her chest demanding to be let out with a raw scream, but Juliana suppresses her need for release. 

Her focus, in mind and heart, has abandoned her mother and he quarrel with her the second she put down the phone; it is instead on something entirely different, something that threatens to send her into a state of despair she remembers feeling only when she had seen the police carry a body bag out of Valentina’s house. The only difference now is the lack of immediate relief; no reassurance that she mistakingly assumed the worst, no confirmation that she is wrong and Valentina is okay.

Without waiting a minute longer, Juliana throws a jacket on and runs out of the restaurant, mumbling an apology to Perlita as she passes by. She gets to the bus stop right when the first of the three buses she needs is about to depart. Despite her fortuitous timing, the journey to Valentina’s house feels longer than it has ever felt before. She keeps anxiously looking at the time on her phone throughout the entire way, huffing and tapping her foot on the floor loud enough to attract confused and annoyed stares from the people around her. 

Juliana doesn’t care, she doesn’t even notice them. Her mind keeps going back to what her mother told her, and for every second that goes by without knowing what really happened to Valentina, she imagines a worse, terrifying scenario for the girl she loves to be trapped in.

It takes Juliana over one hour to get to her final stop. She burns the fifteen-minute walk from there to Valentina’s house in five; by the time she arrives to the huge gate, she is sweating and out of breath.

Two members of the security team of Valentina’s family approach her right away, one hand up to stop her and the other to their belts, where gun holsters are clearly visible. It doesn’t surprise Juliana, she knows that after the ordeal with Armenta, Valentina’s family doubled down on security, but in that moment she couldn’t care less, they are just another obstacle to finding out what happened to Valentina.

“Stop. Stop right there, niña,” one of the two says immediately. Juliana tries to ignore him and go for the gate but he puts himself in front of her and wraps his hand around the handle of the gun.

“Not another step,” he threatens. “This is private property. Now turn around and go back—”

“Please sir, I need to get in,” Juliana cuts him off with a frantic voice, looking at the gate behind him. “I’ve been here before, I’m a friend of Valentina.”

“I don’t care who you are. You cannot go in without authorization.”

Juliana is too desperate and worried to give in that easily. She turns to the second man and a glimmer of hope fills her chest with the realization that she has met him before.

“Sir,” she starts, walking in his direction, but the other guard follows her movements and removes the safety from the gun with his thumb. It’s a clear threat, and Juliana does stop this time, but not before glaring at the man with enough anger in her eyes to make him blink rapidly to keep his composure.

“Please,” she tries again with the second security guard, staying where she is but keeping all her attention on him. “You know me, sir. My name is Juliana Valdés, I’ve been here so many times.”

The universe has no luck to spare for her though, because the man looks her up and down and shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, niña,” he says, shrugging. “A lot of people come and go, and even if I remembered you, I know the names of who’s allowed inside the house by heart, and yours is definitely not on the list.”

Juliana feels like someone just punched through her stomach and twisted her guts into a knot. She clenches her teeth and presses the heels of her hands against her eyes, feeling her frustration reach and surpass the limits of bearable. 

She knows she used to be on that list. She remembers Valentina telling her she had made sure she would be always allowed inside the mansion. If her name is gone, she can only think of one reason for this. Or rather, she _wants_ to believe only one reason. Because believing Eva to be the responsible for taking her out of the list is much easier than imagining Valentina doing it to get rid of her.

“Por favor…” Juliana begs, with a voice so tiny and weak she doesn’t recognize it as her own. “I just need to talk to someone from the family.”

Tears fill her eyes when she gets no reaction from the men.

“I won’t go in, okay?! Just make someone come out and talk to me. Please! I just need to know—”

Her voice breaks on a throaty hiccup. She tries to keep herself from fully crying, but the harder she tries, the more her eyes sting with unshed tears.

“I just—”

“Kid.”

This time, when he cuts her off, the guard uses a much softer voice. He puts a hand on Juliana’s shoulder in a gesture that she reads as trying to be sympathetic, but it only has the effect of making her shiver.

“Go home, kid. I’m sorry but this is our job. We can’t do anything about it.”

That soft apology affects Juliana more than any threat that preceded it, turning her defeat into something definitive, something she cannot fight against. She pulls away from the man’s touch and dials Valentina’s number again in a hopeless, final attempt. She knows it won’t make any difference, she is perfectly aware of what is going to happen but it doesn’t matter. If the definition of crazy is doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes, then she must be going crazy, because hearing the usual automated reply forces a tear down her cheek with the pain of disappointment.

Juliana doesn’t try to reason with the security team again. She blinks away the tearand walks back where she came from. The same tree-lined driveway she had rushed through on her way there, now she walks painstakingly slow, dragging her feet like a punishing weight on her shoulder is crushing her down with each step.

That’s how she feels: crushed. Crushed by fear, by disappointment. Most of all, crushed by not knowing. If she knew exactly what happened, no matter how horrible or painful it might be, she could do something about it; she could devise a plan of action, or if the circumstances were different, she could start trying to make peace with the fact that Valentina doesn’t want to see her anymore. But the paralysis that comes with not knowing, the inability to do _anything_ about what is troubling her, that’s something she was never built to deal with.

Juliana makes her way back without thinking and yet plagued by thoughts she cannot control, walking mindlessly through the long driveway. She has almost reached the end of it when a sound behind her catches her attention. She turns around and looks at the curve in the pathway she just passed. There is a noise growing louder, tires against pebbles, giving away the approaching of a car.

Juliana has to wait less than a minute, then one of the recognizable black vans used by Valentina’s family appears from around the curve. There is only one way towards the exit, the path is too narrow for wide maneuvers. Juliana hesitates only for one second; without thinking about it, she throws herself in the middle of the driveway with her arms up, right in front of the vehicle.

The car screeches to an abrupt halt and the driver immediately honks loudly at her, but Juliana ignores it. She rushes to the car and starts knocking on the tinted window.

“Please, open up!” Juliana asks while impatiently beating on the window. “They won’t let me in. Please, I need to speak to someone from the Carvajal family, it’s important!”

The car slowly tries to resume moving but Juliana plants herself in front of the hood again, forcing the van to stop once more. The front window isn’t as dark as the passenger ones and Juliana immediately recognizes the shape and face of the driver.

“Alirio.”

She moves around the car and knocks at the window next to him, even more desperately now that she saw a familiar face who might help her.

“Alirio please, it’s me. Juliana. It’s about Valentina.” She slams her palm against the car door when she sees him shake his head and do nothing else. “Please! Just open the goddamn—”

Before she can finish the sentence, one of the passenger windows unexpectedly rolls down. Juliana rushes there, ready to start begging again, but she is stunned into silence when she finds herself face to face with Eva.

It’s not just seeing Valentina’s sister that takes her by surprise. It’s _how_ she looks. She has come to know Eva as someone who’d constantly look like she owns the world, always flawless, always sophisticated. The Eva who’s staring back at her is a far cry from that image: her hair is disheveled, no makeup on her face to hide the deep, dark circles under her eyes, and her eyes especially – always so piercing and intense – are instead glassy and bloodshot, like someone who had no sleep in a while. Or just finished crying.

“Eva…” Juliana mumbles, unable to say anything else for a moment. The way Eva’s stare hardens and turns into a sharp glare is enough to shake Juliana’s out of her daze. She blinks quickly and nods in a grateful manner. “Thank you for—”

“What do you want?”

The harshness of her voice dissolves the perception of vulnerability that Juliana had taken in, telling her that the Eva she knows is still very much there. She has no time or energy to get offended over the unfair rudeness, though. She grips the car door and leans in, close enough to almost put her head through the window space.

“I want to know about Valentina,” she says with an unwavering tone. “Tell me—”

“You do not get to make demands to me, do you understand?”

Eva pushes forward into Juliana’s face in a clear attempt at being threatening, but Juliana doesn’t back up, holding Eva’s stare without faltering. She bites at her bottom lip to keep from letting out a snappy retort as she feels her patience starting to wear thin, and forces herself to remain focused on what she _really_ cares about.

“I’m not making demands, I just want to know if Valentina is okay.”

Juliana sees something switch behind Eva’s eyes. The anger and disdain wear away for a second, replaced by a flash of what Juliana can only read as anguish. It lasts no longer than a second, Eva looks down and away from Juliana immediately, but it’s enough to trigger all the alarms in Juliana’s mind.

“Did something happen to her?” she asks anxiously, instinctively leaning even more into the car. “Please Eva, if something happened I—”

“ _You_ are in no position to ask anything about my family’s business,” Eva cuts her off with a hiss, going back to glare at her with the same venom in her green eyes. “ _Especially_ when it concerns Valentina.”

“Yes, I do,” Juliana replies, refusing to let Eva intimidate her. “You might not believe me, you might think that I’m trying to take advantage, but I love—”

“You will stay away!” Eva bursts out, snapping forward with such aggressiveness that Juliana can’t help but flinch back. “From Valentina and me and the rest of my family, or I’ll make good on my promise and ruin your life for good.”

As much as Juliana wishes Eva’s threats didn’t affect her, her words stayed impressed into her brain ever since she showed up at her house to tell her to stay away from Valentina. Juliana knows she means what she is saying, and she definitely knows that someone with all her money and power could easily follow through with her threat, ruining not only her but her mother too. The rational part of her brain tells her to back off and walk away, that she’s not gonna get anything from Eva other than angering her even more, but her feelings for Valentina are more powerful than any cry for logical thinking might be.

Juliana refuses to move, staring back at Eva and seeing the anger rise within her with each second that passes without Juliana doing as she ordered. She is about to tell Eva she doesn’t care about her threats when unexpectedly, Alirio interrupts her with a hesitant tone that betrays all his unease over the situation.

“Señorita, I apologize but we’re going to be late to the police station.”

His words make Juliana freeze. She looks at Alirio and then back at Eva with wide eyes, desperate for an explanation. A shudder of dread runs down her spine when Eva clenches her jaw and looks away.

“You’re going to the police station?” she asks with a strangled voice. She only gets silence as answer but that is explicative enough in itself, and definitely enough to send her into a state of panic. “Why are you— why are you going there?!"

Eva doesn’t reply and pulls away, pressing her back straight against the seat of the car.

“Let’s go, Alirio,” she says emotionlessly. She moves to close the window again but Juliana doesn’t let her, grabbing at her wrist and making her turn around again to stare at her in shock.

“Tell me why you’re going there!” Juliana begs, on the verge of screaming.

“What are you doing? How dare you— let go of me!”

Eva tries to yank her arm free but Juliana doesn’t let go, only tightening her grip the more Eva tries to pull away.

“What happened to Valentina?!” Juliana cries out. “Why won’t she return any calls? Where is she? What—”

Juliana feels a pair of arms wrap around her torso and forcefully pulling her away. The harsh jerk back is too sudden and unexpected for her to be able to put up any real fight. Her hold loosens and slips away from Eva’s wrist and she is dragged several steps away from the car before being let go. She flails around and pushes herself off with a cry of frustration over being forced to let go of Eva. She is ready to violently charge at the man responsible for this but she freezes when she realizes it was Alirio, looking at her apologetically while panting with the effort he just made. So wrapped in her despair to find out about Valentina, she hadn’t even noticed him getting out of the car.

“You’ll pay for this.” Eva’s seething voice catches Juliana’s attention once again. She watches the older woman rub dramatically at her own wrist while Alirio gets back inside the van. Her glare is just as sharp as her words once she goes back to looking at Juliana, staring daggers into her while all her features twist in anger. 

“You think you can take care of my sister better than her own family?” Eva lets out a cold scoff. “Valentina is better off without you. And if you, or anyone from your trash family ever comes near—”

“Why did you come to Silvina’s house?” Juliana’s question silences Eva. “If Valentina is better off without me, why did you look for her there?”

Eva doesn’t say anything for several seconds. Juliana can read on her face that she wasn’t prepared for the question. For a moment, that mask of coldness and anger seems to slip away and Juliana gets a glimpse at that same vulnerability she had seen before. It gives her hope, hope that for once, Eva will put away her pride and accept that Juliana just wants to help, that she loves Valentina just as much as she does.

But it only lasts for a moment. Eva’s eyes grow cold again, her features tense into a shield of ice and when she finally answers, she says the worst thing she could have possibly said to Juliana.

“You don’t know anything. And if Valentina isn’t replying to your calls, it’s because she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. So make her and all of us a favor and stay away.”

This time, it’s Juliana who is too stunned to speak. A vise wraps around her throat, making it hard to breathe and she feels lightheaded all of a sudden. She feels herself unconsciously shaking her head, as if her body is physically rejecting Eva’s explanation for Valentina’s disappearance but it makes no difference.

After all the worry and fear and anguish, she finally got an answer. One she doesn’t want to believe to, one that is much more excruciating than she thought it would be.

She watches numbly Eva roll the window up and the car finally drive away. She doesn’t do anything to try and stop it like before. All her energies have drained away, leaving her feeling completely hollow.

“It’s not true…” she whispers under her breath. She tries to cling to every memory she has of Valentina, all the times the other girl showed just how much she cared for her, desperately needing to rationalize that Valentina would never cut her out of her life so abruptly.

But the alternative to Eva’s truth presents itself in all its awfulness, a scenario in which something horrible and unknown happened to Valentina, and between the two, Juliana has no idea what she wants to believe. Eva’s words keep replaying in her head, though, bitter and venomous and worst of all, convincing. Horribly convincing.

Slowly, Juliana doubles over until she is crouching down on the dirty ground. She rests her elbows over her knees and presses her fists into her face, feeling her body tense more and more until she is visibly shaking. She grits her teeth to the point of pain in the attempt to control herself but it’s useless. What Eva told her was the tipping point for her, and with the fresh, unstoppable wave of anguish that surges through her, Juliana abandons any restraints and screams.

* * *

“Ah, Valentina, why do you make me do this?” 

Alacrán’s voice barely reaches Valentina’s ears above her coughs and gasps. They have dunked her head in the tub again, drowning her for what felt like hours, and only now has Alacrán given the order to stop. She is on the floor, shaking and racked by spasms with her hands cuffed behind her back. Her shoulder and hand send waves of agony through her body all the way up to her brain with every movement she makes, no matter how slight.

Her hand in particular hurts unbearably. Even with all the exhaustion and pain in her lungs and in every other injured part of her body, the hand is what keeps torturing her the most. 

Valentina knows it’s broken. She felt the bones shatter under her lacerated skin. What she didn’t know was that it would keep hurting so horribly for so long after the injury, even after they gave her one painkiller to keep her from passing out.

“You’re entertaining girl, I’ll give you that, but I’m getting tired of your antics,” Alacrán continues, clicking his tongue and shaking his head like he is disappointed in her. “What do I have to do with you? Water, fire, electricity… do I have to start cutting you to pieces to make you talk?”

Valentina shudders even more violently with the memory of each torture Alacrán invoked. She remembers it all. Every second of agony they subjected her to in the past days, she feels it everywhere on her body, like they never stopped torturing her.

She is so exhausted and in pain that she can’t even bring herself to flinch when Alacrán crouches down next to her, watching her silently as she catches her breath and collects whatever little energies she has left. 

“Why are you doing this, mija?” he asks, genuinely curious for once rather than taunting. “She’s just a friend, one you’ve only just met. She’s not worth all this pain.” 

Valentina swallows against the parched walls of her throat and squeezes her eyes shut, doing everything she can to fight her way through the ever-present pain in her body. She fails on her first attempt at speaking, nothing but a wheezing comes out of her mouth and makes Alacrán and the other men in the room chuckle. She hates them all, she hates them with every fibre of her being for all the amusement they feel in mocking her helplessness. It’s such a burning, consuming hatred that it gives her the strength to find her voice again and let out a hoarse whisper.

“It’s… It’s something someone like you will never understand.”

Alacrán only smiles, tracing Valentina’s forehead close to her hairline and pushing away a wet strand of hair with his fingers. 

“Make me. What’s so special about this girl?” 

Valentina moves her head away and refuses to answer, staring blankly in front of her, too exhausted to play his games. 

“I could kill you right now, you know that?” 

Valentina freezes. Her blood runs cold in her veins with the banality of Alacrán’s tone; it makes threat to end her life infinitely more terrifying, like he could just do it without feeling anything, without even thinking about it. 

“Are you really willing to die for her?” 

Valentina clenches her teeth together and frowns, fresh tears filling her eyes despite her attempts to hold them back. She made her choice long ago, back when they first dragged her into the building and made her realize hell could exist on Earth. She imagines Juliana’s soft smile and bites her own lip, not bothering to answerAlacrán’s sadistic question. 

She doesn’t say anything, but her silence is a more than eloquent answer, one that makes Alacrán shake his head and laugh. 

“Ah, this is really a puzzle to me,” he says. “Chino’s daughter is sweet enough, but I don’t get it. Why would someone like you care about her so much? You’re a princesita and she’s a waste of—”

“Don’t.” 

Valentina’s voice suddenly cuts Alacrán off. She still doesn’t meet his stare, but even through all the pain and exhaustion and fear, her voice comes out without falters. 

“Don’t talk about her like that.” 

“Why? It’s the truth,” Alacrán chuckles, and that’s when Valentina lifts her eyes, finding through her anger the courage to glare at him. 

“She’s an… she’s an incredible person, and– much better than someone like you could ever hope to be.”

Valentina holds his stare while Alacrán searches her eyes, looking for a hidden explanation to what perplexes him so much. Then, suddenly, Valentina sees his eyes shine with a glint of realization. He tilts his head with a surprised look on his face and his lips stretch in a smile. 

“Princesita…” he leans closer and his voice drops down to a whisper. “Do you like her?” 

Valentina’s body goes rigid and she hastily looks away, trying to keep her face as impassive as possible. It’s too late though, and her reaction gives Alacrán exactly the answer he needs. His eyes go wide and he starts laughing, a loud and cacophonous laugh that pierces through Valentina’s brain and makes her squeeze her eyes shut to try to keep the awful sound out of her head. 

“I can’t believe this!” he almost yells, slapping his hand on his knee and laughing even louder. “Did you hear the princess, boys?!” he looks at his men before setting his eyes back on Valentina. “She’s in love with her little friend.”

Murmurs and chuckles that spread in the quiet room after Alacrán’s words. 

“Really?” Valentina hears Mugres’ voice, “She doesn’t look like a lesbian.” 

“Why? How does a lesbian look like, Mugres?” Alacrán asks, turning to look at his man who just shrugs. 

“I don’t know, but… not like the princess here.” 

The crude conversation about something so personal and intimate about her life makes Valentina flinch and wish she could just crawl into a hole in the ground and disappear. She hesitantly looks up, to try to study the face of the men, unseen. She notices the surprise and confusion on some of them, the amusement on others. Then, suddenly, her eyes meet Carlos’. 

She wants to look away, but she finds herself paralyzed, unable to move under his petrifying stare. He is looking at her like all of a sudden she has become infinitely more enticing. His mouth curls in a small grin that makes his eyes look even darker than usual, and without realizing it, Valentina starts trembling even harder than before.

Valentina is taken out of her trance by Alacrán’s hand on her jaw, making her twist her face to look at him. 

“And is she in love with you too, princess? Are you together?” 

His words involuntarily trigger a memory in Valentina’s mind, the smile on Juliana’s face when they made their pact to be together despite everything. Every horrible thing that happened afterwards makes her long to have that moment back, to have back the confidence that they’d be together against everything and everyone. Every moment in which they professed their love through whispered breaths and secret touches seems even more sacred now that she no longer has them, especially now, in the hell she is stuck in.

Valentina tries to push away the memory, she doesn’t want to think about it right now, but at the same time she can’t help it. She’d give anything to slip away and into that memory, lulled by the warmth of Juliana’s eyes. 

She is brought back to the horror of her reality by Alacrán’s thumb brushing on her cheekbone. The touch makes her meet his eyes for a second and she finds him smiling as his voice drops down to a whisper. 

“Did you make love yet?”

His words act like a vicious shockwave through Valentina’s body and she violently jerks away, freeing herself from his grasp and landing on the floor with a thud. 

“Don’t touch me,” she hisses, eliciting only laughters from Alacrán and his men. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He shakes his head, chuckling quietly again at his discovery. “Wow mija, you really are full of surprises. But at least now I get it. You want to protect your girlfriend.” 

Valentina presses her forehead against the floor, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to not let the madness of the situation overwhelm her any more than it already has. 

“She’s worth all this pain, uh?” she hears the smile in Alacrán’s voice. “I missed out on my chance in San Antonio, so tell me. Is she that good of a fuck?” 

His filthy words and the veiled threat towards Juliana bring to the surface the blind rage that had been simmering low in Valentina’s body since this all started. She lifts her head to look at him, features completely twisted by anger. She is too far gone to stop; without thinking, she kicks her leg out with all the strength she has left and hits Alacrán in the shin, making him lose his balance and collapse.

He has no way to stop or slow down the fall, and his head hits the floor with a crack that makes him cry out in surprise and pain. It takes a few seconds before Alacrán manages to pull himself up with a groan, touching the part of his head that hit the concrete floor and wincing with the pain of a bruise that is already forming. 

“You okay, boss?” someone asks but they are quickly silenced by Alacrán’s death glare. He takes a couple deep breaths to collect himself and then his eyes find Valentina. The anger she can see burning in them is unmistakeable. She braces herself for a blow, for more torture, but unlike what she has come to expect from him, Alacrán doesn’t touch her. 

He slowly stands up, eyes never leaving her, and remains towering over her for several seconds. Then, his lips curl into a cold smile that dies down as rapidly as it formed. 

“You know what, princesita?” he says, adjusting his jacket with a tug and cracking his neck. “Keep being stubborn, keep fighting. Every stupid thing you did instead of doing what I wanted, I’m gonna make your girlfriend pay for it.” 

Valentina looks at him with fear in her eyes, not daring to make a move even when he steps away from her. 

“You’re gonna regret not talking to me, mija. I wish I could say this pains me, but it doesn’t.” 

Valentina frowns at his words and watches him silently as he makes his way towards the exit of the building. He walks past Carlos and stops in front of him. When she hears his words,Valentina’s heart stops inside her chest. 

“Don’t kill her, and make sure she can still talk. For the rest, do whatever you want.” 

Alacrán walks away without even bothering to look at Valentina, blind to the horror on her face as she realizes what his words will mean for her. If she had any doubts about the intention behind his words, they are shattered by the look Carlos gives her as soon as Alacrán leaves.

His eyes grow dark and ravenous with excitement and his lips curl up. 

“Finally.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The new chapter is here. Sorry for the wait, I was very busy in the past few days. This promises to be the most controversial chapter. Try not to hate me please.
> 
> Enjoy and leave a comment to let me know your thoughts!

Juliana stands in front of the entrance to the police station, chewing anxiously at her fingernails while trying to decide what to do. It had taken her over a day to build enough courage to do this. It hadn’t been just the fear of the consequences she might face if Eva discovers her trying to interfere with her business to make Juliana stall, but rather, the much more paralyzing fear that Eva’s words might end up being true, the fear of receiving a definitive confirmation that Valentina is unreachable not because of external forces, but simply because she doesn’t want to see her anymore.

She forces herself to pull her hand away from her mouth as she suddenly remembers all the times Valentina had done the same with her, proving how her affection extended even to the smallest gestures, making Juliana feel cared for in a way she wasn’t used to. As much as she wants to stay rational, she cannot reconcile _that_ Valentina with someone who would disappear for good without even letting her know about her decision.

Instead of tormenting her fingers, Juliana closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to battle against her nervousness. Whatever choice she makes, whether to just go home or investigate further, the outcome is going to be something painful. She has learned to face whatever scared or hurt her with her head up, not to cower any and let those feelings overpower her, but she has never felt such an intense instinct to run away from something as what she is feeling right now.

Juliana opens her eyes again and looks at the entrance to the police station, watching the constant coming and going of people through the doors. So many crimes happen in that city every day, so many for which the police does nothing, like her mother’s kidnapping. She thinks about Alirio’s words again, and Eva’s distressed face: maybe she is wrong, there could be a thousand reasons for someone as powerful as Valentina’s sister to be needing the police, and in the midst of all this, Eva did give her an answer about Valentina.

But maybe she lied.

“Screw it,” Juliana mutters. If Valentina turned out to actually be in trouble and she hadn’t done anything to try and help, she would never be able to forgive herself. After what felt like hours of stalling and second-guessing, Juliana takes a deep breath and walks in. 

The hall of the police station is more chaotic than she was expecting, dozens of citizens busy with talking to their assigned officers or waiting for their turn. She hates the environment right away, it reminds her of San Antonio, when she and her mother had been brought in and she had found out the truth about her father’s job.

Juliana grits her teeth, doing her best to shake away the uncomfortable feeling, and walks up to the information desk. There is a middle-aged, overweight officer on the other side of the glass partition, reading a newspaper and seemingly oblivious to Juliana and the chaos all around.

“Hello,” Juliana says, but the man doesn’t even bother to lift his head from the newspaper. The events of the past days have worn Juliana’s patience thin, leaving her particularly susceptible to anger and frustration, so where another day she would have waited and politely tried again to catch the officer’s attention, this time she immediately knocks on the glass, loud enough to attract some stares from the people around her. She doesn’t care though, because the action finally makes the man glance up and meet her stare. There is an annoyed look in his eyes that makes Juliana’s skin itch with irritation but she does her best to ignore it.

“Hi, thank you. I’m—”

“You gotta take the ticket,” he cuts Juliana off without even letting her say what she needs.

“Uh?”

“The ticket.” He adjusts his position on the swivel chair and nods to the side. Juliana follows the movement with her gaze and sees a red queue ticket dispenser. She grabs the little piece of paper sticking out from the machine and rips it off.

“Wait for your number to be called,” he says, then he leans back on the chair and goes back to reading his newspaper. Juliana looks at the number on the ticket—118—then she looks up, looking for the black screen showing the numbers on the waiting list. A frustrated sigh escapes from her mouth when she finds it and sees the bright, red 93 on it.

“This is a police station, not a post office! What if it’s an emergency?” she tries, “What if—”

“The number,” the man interrupts her without looking at her and Juliana understands that there won’t be any reasoning with him.

Juliana rubs a hand over her face, silently cursing at herself for waiting so long before deciding to walk in and wasting all that time. There is nothing she can do though, she is there over a gut feeling not an actual emergency, and she doesn’t have the influence to quicken things. So, defeated, she walks to a free spot next to the walk and leans her back against it, resigned to waiting her turn.

And the wait is horrible. Every number seem to take ages; minutes get eaten away like that and Juliana feels every second stretch and expand to an unbearable degree. She grows restless after the first five numbers, starts pacing around after ten. The people around her in her same situation seem to all have something to distract themselves with, a way to relaxingly pass the time, but Juliana doesn’t have that luxury. Even if she had a way to distract herself, she wouldn’t be able to, not with all the thoughts incessantly swirling inside her mind. She fidgets with her hands, locks and unlocks her phone in a compulsive manner, but nothing helps with calming her down, let alone with making the passing of time more manageable.

She has just come out of the toilet after downing the umpteenth glass of water from the water cooler when her phone buzzes in her pocket. Juliana takes it out and unlocks it to check the notification, and when she does, a feeling of surprise immediately washes over her at the sight of the name on the screen.

**_Sergio: Hey! :)_ **

Juliana blankly stares at her phone for a moment. She wasn’t expecting that text, with everything that had happened with Eva she had completely forgotten about her attempts to reach out to Sergio. The annoyance she had felt towards him, though, comes back in full force, growing stronger with each notification that pops up on her screen almost every second.

**_Sergio: How are you?_ **

**_Sergio: I’ve been thinking about you today._ **

**_Sergio: I saw the calls, sorry for replying only now._ **

**_Sergio: U here? I have lots of news for you!_ **

**_Sergio: Now you’re the one not answering :(_ **

They keep coming, at such a pressing speed they remind Juliana of the guy’s continuous, obnoxious attempts at flirting with her. She didn’t mind him as much as she did Lucho, but she had never been interested in him more than as a friend, and his constant, blatant efforts in charming her would always only have the opposite result. Even now, seeing the playful and yet demanding tone of his texts, Juliana feels instinctively driven to ignore him, even if she had been the one to reach out to begin with.

Sergio doesn’t seem to know what patience or rejection are, though, because without even waiting for Juliana to reply to the swarm of messages, he suddenly calls her.

The phone buzzes loudly in Juliana’s hand, demanding her attention in the worst moment possible. She lets the phone ring until the call gets automatically terminated and goes to voicemail, but after no longer than a few seconds, Sergio calls again.

Juliana lets out a quiet groan; she considers turning off her phone entirely, the only way she can think of to put a halt to the boy’s vexing attentions, but what he said in his texts sticks out from the back of her mind. Missing out on the chance to find out if he knows anything about Valentina is something she doesn’t want to risk.

So, on Sergio’s third attempt at calling, Juliana answers.

“Hey, Sergio.”

_“Hi, beautiful girl! You’re really hard to get, you know that?”_

He laughs but it only makes Juliana roll her eyes. He is the one who disappeared when she needed to talk to him, but somehow, not answering right away makes _her_ hard to get in his mind. The already little patience Juliana had threatens to completely wither away at the very beginning of their conversation.

“I tried to call you,” Juliana says, refusing to apologize.

_“I know, I had a really important exam and after that I went a little too crazy with partying. You know how that goes.”_

No, she doesn’t. Juliana hardly ever partied throughout her life, and she definitely never got herself wasted to the level she has seen him or Lucho or even Valentina reach.

_“I’m all yours now, though!”_ Sergio continues. _“As a matter of fact, I’m at Mrs. Perlita’s restaurant, but you’re not here. It’s breaking my heart.”_

“I’m busy right now,” Juliana says, ignoring the fake sadness in Sergio’s voice and squeezing the ticket between her fingers.

_“Oh come oooon!”_ Sergio replies. _“I have great news for you! You have to see, you won’t regret it, I promise.”_

“What is it?”

_“Ah, it’s a surprise,”_ Sergio answers teasingly, and Juliana can _hear_ him grin.

“I don’t have time for surprises, Sergio. Do you know anything about—”

_“It’s better if I show you, trust me. You need to see this. I’m the best friend in the world, I solved your problem.”_

For the first time since their conversation started, Juliana pays attention to Sergio’s words.

“My problem? You know about Valentina?” Juliana asks anxiously.

_“Valentina? Oh right, your messages.”_

Sergio’s tone of confusion immediately crushes Juliana’s hopes that his surprise could actually be about Valentina. She shakes her head and closes her eyes, biting back a sigh of disappointment.

“So you don’t—”

_“I have something to tell you about her, too.”_

Juliana’s eyes snap open.

“About Val?”

_“Yeah. You were asking, and I think I know what’s going on with her.”_

“Is it something bad?” Juliana asks frantically, pushing herself up from the wall she was leaning against. “Did she—”

_“Bad? No no.”_ Sergio interrupts her. _“Nothing out of the ordinary. Let’s meet so we can talk.”_

That answer sticks to Juliana’s mind, whether in a positive or negative way, she isn’t sure. Sergio’s immediate rejection of the possibility that something bad might have happened to Valentina is reassuring, but the rest of his reply confuses her in a way that verges on unsettling. She has been exposed on more than one occasion to the ‘ordinary’ of Valentina’s life before they met: maybe it’s her fear, maybe it’s the constant anxiety that has left her restless for almost a week, but Juliana cannot interpret it in any way other than worrying.

_“Where are you?”_ Sergio suddenly asks. _“I’ll come get you.”_

“There’s no need, I—”

_“I have a car, it’s faster and more practical,”_ he interrupts her. _“Not to mention more comfortable. It’ll make you save time, so you can go back to whatever is keeping you busy.”_

Juliana can hear him chuckle through the phone. If they were face to face, she imagines he would be winking at her right now. Not once has she found him charming despite all his attempts, but she cannot deny he is good at being persuasive. It only makes him more annoying in her eyes.

She remains silent for a few moments, checking the black screen with the numbers. There are only two left before it would be her turn. But for what? She never had a plan when she walked inside the police station other than asking about Valentina, she had nothing to guarantee even a semblance of success. Sergio’s offer, even with all her antipathy for his methods, seems, at least in part, more tangible.

_“So?”_ Sergio says, taking Juliana out of her thought. She looks at the black screen again and then at the ticket in her hand. After a moment, she grits her teeth and crumples the ticket in her fist.

“Okay.”

* * *

They meet halfway, Juliana not wanting him to know she was at the police station. He hugs her like he hasn’t seen her in months and she finds herself grow rigid rather than accepting the affectionate touch. Maybe it’s because of her exhaustion—the toll of almost a week of sadness and concern—but she finds him even more insufferable than usual.

He talks during the entire car trip, with Juliana barely humming or mumbling something in response. She tries to get him to tell her about Valentina right away but he cuts her off before she can even finish her sentence, telling her that he’s going to show her the surprise first. And when they finally get to their destination, the surprise is something Juliana hadn’t at all expected.

“Ta-dah!” Sergio says, opening the door to a huge, bright apartment. Even with all the thoughts and concerns that fill her mind, Juliana can’t help but gasp and be in awe of the place.

“Wow…” she whispers, looking around and taking in all the luxurious details of the apartment.

“From your face I’m gonna assume that you like it,” Sergio says with a grin, closing the door and walking to the enormous kitchen island to put down the brown bag he had taken with him.

“Yeah, of course. It’s beautiful. But why are we here?” Juliana asks, even though deep down, she has already guessed the answer.

“We’re here because this is your new place.”

Juliana was expecting that, but hearing it out loud isn’t the same thing; it’s hard for her to wrap her mind around the fact that she could live in an apartment so fancy. And so cold.

“Sergio, thank you,” she says, genuine in her gratefulness. “Really, thank you. But I can’t afford a place like this.”

“Ah, that’s not an issue,” he says, walking close to her again. “Did I say you have to pay anything?”

Juliana shakes her head.

“It’s all paid. I heard you had a fallout with your mother and were living inside the restaurant. I couldn’t let you stay like that.”

Juliana knows he is trying to be nice but she can’t help but feel a sense of unease at the thought of him knowing the intimate details of her situation. She wonders whom he talked to, Perlita, Panchito, her mother… every name makes that uncomfortable feeling grow until a shudder runs down her body with how itchy she feels.

“Sergio…”

He suddenly places a hand on her shoulder, silently interrupting her. His eyes lose the usual cheeky glint for a moment and turn soft.

“You need to learn to let your friends help you, Juliana.”

The sentiment is genuine, Juliana can tell from Sergio’s eyes, but despite what he’s trying to do, his words awaken the memory of a similar situation, one where she had received a type of support much more dear and important to her than anything Sergio might attempt.

_“Just let yourself be loved, Juliana, please!”_

Valentina’s angry outburst and her soft touch immediately afterwards had made Juliana feel seen and loved in a moment when she felt completely alone and offered her a type of solace no one else could match. Sergio’s words only remind her how she no longer has any of that.

“Will you accept it?” Sergio brings her back to the present. “I know it won’t fix everything but at least you can have a nice place to relax, get your strengths back…”

Unexpectedly, he fixes a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It makes Juliana flinch but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“I can tell you’re tired.”

She is, she can’t even bring herself to deny that. Sergio takes her silence as a confirmation of his words and walks them both to the couch.

“Okay, you know what?” he says as Juliana sits down, “You sit there and relax. I’ll make you a snack. Let’s work on getting some of that energy back. And I have another little gift for you.”

He jogs to the kitchen island and unwraps the paper bag he had brought in, pulling out a bottle of mezcal.

“I know you don’t drink but this one is pure magic. And maybe one or two drinks will help you empty your mind a little.”

Resting sounds tempting, emptying her mind even more so, the idea of being able to not think or _feel_ for at least a few minutes is incredibly tantalizing to Juliana. But even with all her exhaustion, one thought is drilled into her mind, the same, horrible concern that hasn’t abandoned her all week, not even in her dreams. And even with all the efforts Sergio is making to captivate and distract her, there is only one thing she cares about.

“You said you know something about Valentina.”

Sergio falters in the middle of preparing the drinks and snacks. Juliana immediately notices the way he looks down and his face darkens with disappointment.

“Yeah…” he says, shrugging. “Valentina.”

Juliana doesn’t like the way he pronounces the other girl’s name, like somehow he spites her even though they’ve been friends since childhood.

“She’s been giving you a lot of trouble these days, uh?” he says, walking up to Juliana with a tray in his hands. He sets it down on the small table in front of the couch and then sits next to her. There are two small sandwiches and two shot glasses already filled with mezcal, salt and several slices of lemon ready next to them.

“Thinking only about themselves. That’s what rich people do best.”

“Aren’t you rich?” Juliana retorts, angered by Sergio’s suggestion that Valentina could be as selfish as he is trying to make her out to be. He stops midway through a chuckle after being called out like that, but it only lasts for a moment. He recovers right away and lifts his hands in fake surrender with a smile to ease the tension.

“Okay tiger, don’t eat me alive,” he laughs but Juliana remains serious. “Yeah, I have money but Valentina is in another league entirely. And to people like that everyone else is nothing but a peasant.”

He lifts up his glass to go for a toast but Juliana doesn’t take hers. He doesn’t seem to mind and just downs his shot in one go, immediately filling the glass again.

“I haven’t been able to reach her for days,” Juliana says, ignoring his comment. “You told me you know what happened.”

His smile drops again and he turns serious, letting out a sigh and taking another shot.

“Yeah…” he says, coughing with the strength of the alcohol burning his throat. “I mean, I’m not entirely sure, but I’m pretty confident I know what’s going on.”

Juliana doesn’t like his tone. It has lost the spite from before but it’s alarming to her ears, ominous almost. She adjusts her position on the couch to turn and look at him, nervously tormenting the cuticles of her thumb. The tension and anxiety she had felt all week had never left her, they had just been muted by Sergio’s distractions, but it takes less than a moment for them to come back full force.

“I…” Juliana hesitates, still struggling to contain all the fears tied to what she wants to say, to the memory she is about to evoke. “Last time I saw her she was with Lucho. They were hugging.”

Sergio doesn’t say anything for a moment, just staring at her with what Juliana can only read as a look of sympathy. There is no surprise in his eyes with her revelation, that’s one of the most alarming things to her.

“I know,” he eventually says with a deep sigh and Juliana feels her stomach tighten with a feeling that goes well beyond confusion. The way Sergio pushes the filled glass closer to her, like what he’s about to say is going to make her want to drink, only makes the feeling worse. “It’s why I didn’t want to talk about this on the phone. I thought having a friend with you would make it easier.”

“What do you mean?” Juliana asks with a choked voice, but not even her burning need to deny the evidence slowly unfolding before her is enough at this point. She feels paralyzed when Sergio pulls out his phone, and when he turns it towards her and shows her a text, her eyes fill with tears.

**_Lucho: Juliana caught me and Vale hugging. You should’ve seen her face, dude. They aren’t even speaking to each other anymore, Valentina took my comfort not hers. I’m getting her back dude, just wait. Valentina is done with Juliana for good._ **

Juliana feels her stomach twist with a violent wave of nausea. Her chest tightens, making it hard to breathe as one tear falls down her cheek. She doesn’t bother rubbing it away, she lets the burning in her eyes grow stronger, matched only by her need to scream. She doesn’t though, it would unleash some of the pain she feels; she lets it simmer inside of her instead, rising unstoppably and making her tremble with the intensity of it.

The text is dated the day after the incident. Juliana opens her mouth, trying to form words, clinging to the need to ask questions that will prove this is all false, that Sergio is wrong. That _she_ is wrong. But no sound comes out of her mouth, only a strangled breath that makes her throat hurts and brings more tears to her eyes.

“I told you I’ve been busy with the exam, but I haven’t heard from Lucho since he sent that,” Sergio says, putting away the phone. “When I tried to call him yesterday, I got nothing. He’s disappeared like Valentina. And that’s why I said it’s not out of the ordinary, even if it hurts. Do you know what I mean?”

His words reach Juliana’s ears muffled, muted by a growing, unbearable pounding in her head, so strong she feels her skull is going to split in two. She knows what Sergio means, she has figured it out by now, but accepting it hurts so much she wonders if it’s going to kill her on the spot. 

“This is something they do all the time,” he goes on to explain, shaking his head like he disapproves of that behavior. “They break up, then they get back together and run away for a while. Then they’re back and the cycle starts again. I thought it was over when you and Valentina got together but—”

“We aren’t together,” Juliana whispers, the first thing that manages to push out of her throat. 

She grabs the filled glass with a shaky hand, feeling herself grow colder and more hollow with every second, with every memory pushing itself on her and cutting like a razor under her skin: Valentina in Lucho’s arms, her lack of replies, Eva’s words about Valentina not wanting to see her again. Lucho’s message, the last straw that confirmed all her worst fears and shattered her heart for good. 

She should be happy, she should be relieved that nothing bad happened to Valentina, but her selflessness doesn’t extend that far, and and she cannot pretend that it doesn’t hurt when she can’t even bring herself to breathe.

“Yes, I know,” Sergio says. “I was rooting for you two. “But I guess Valentina was too selfish to risk it all. She preferred a normal relationship.”

_Normal_. 

The word Juliana has grown to loathe like no other. A concept perverted into a weapon just to make her feel wrong and disgusted with herself, forcefully injected into her first by her mother and now by this. Nothing was more normal to her than loving Valentina, than being with her, but maybe she was wrong the whole time because even Valentina yielded to it, to that _normal_ everyone wanted for them. It was easier than fighting for their love, than fighting for her. Juliana doesn’t blame Valentina, she remembers abandoning her in the park and breaking their pact; she thought she was doing the right thing for Valentina, preventing her from losing everyone else in her life, but all she had done was pushing Valentina away from her, and back in the arms of someone else, someone Juliana hates, but who could give Valentina a normal life. Juliana doesn’t blame her but the truth, finally laid out before her eyes and unavoidable, is nothing but pure agony.

Juliana welcomes the burning of the mezcal down her throat. The taste is disgusting, it makes her cough and grimace, but she immediately pours herself another, and another before that.

Her sudden eagerness to drink makes Sergio chuckle. He takes it as a sign to lighten the mood and suggests they have a party instead of wallowing in sadness. Juliana barely hears a word he says, she just keeps downing shot after shot at a faster rate than even the guy sitting next to her, desperate to obtain that emptiness, that complete numbness of body and soul that will make it easier to deal with the pain that’s consuming her. All she achieves is a growing feeling of nausea.

“I can’t believe you don’t like men.”

Sergio’s words stick out for Juliana amidst all his nonsense. She turns to look at him and finds that he is staring directly at her, she doesn’t know for how long before she noticed. His eyes are glassy, he is clearly drunk and speaking his mind with no filters, but somehow he manages to pick the words that cut deeper inside her.

“I really can’t believe it,” he says again, shaking his head.

“Who told you I don’t like men?” Juliana hears herself say before being able to stop. It catches Sergio’s attention and she sees a curious spark immediately brighten his eyes.

“Okay,” he says, “So what, are you bisexual?”

Juliana thinks about it for a moment. It’s something that has never really crossed her mind. She doesn’t remember ever feeling attracted to a boy in her life, and there is only one person she ever fell in love with. One girl. She isn’t in the right state of mind though, when she doesn’t feel nauseous she feels dizzy, and Sergio’s question doesn’t make her think about her own identity, it makes her think about what her mother told her, that she _can’t_ know because she never experienced the love of a man, she never experienced something normal.

“I don’t know,” she says, staring blankly in front of her. She feels nothing, nothing other than the constant, dull ache in her chest that keeps getting worse with each second that goes by.

“You know, I think you’re just confused,” Sergio says, “Look, Valentina is really nice, that’s probably what made you fall in love with her.”

Juliana’s features twist in revulsion at his words. She wants him to shut up, from assuming she is confused to talking about her feelings for Valentina. It’s pointless to talk about them, she has lost Valentina forever, and every thing that comes out of Sergio’s mouth makes it more unbearable. She hears him call Valentina manipulative; a part of her wants to stop him, to defend the other girl because even with all the pain she feels now, not once has she felt that Valentina manipulated her, or even tried to. Her feelings were real; what they had was real, that’s what makes it so agonizing.

She can’t think clearly with all the alcohol in her body; it doesn’t numb the pain, it heightens every horrible feeling she is experiencing. She doesn’t just feel like she lost Valentina, she lost her chance at having love in her life. True love.

She takes another shot, struggling to swallow down the burning alcohol this time without feeling like throwing up. A mix of voices blend inside her mind, all saying the same thing about how she should be, what she should do. She wants them to stop, she wants it all to stop.

“I think that’s why you—”

Juliana cuts Sergio off, crashing her lips against his. She pulls him close to her, kissing him hard until he recovers from the surprise and responds to the kiss. It’s nothing like kissing Valentina. There is no tenderness or emotion. It’s rough, his lips and breath taste of nothing but alcohol and no matter how much she tries, she doesn’t feel a single thing.

Sergio laughs in surprise and amusement when she pulls away, immediately asking questions about whether she liked it and she wants to continue. On her part, Juliana pours herself another shot right away, immediately feeling the need for more alcohol to go along with this for longer than one second. He tells her she can keep experimenting with him however long she likes, she recognizes the manipulative tinge in his voice when he asks her if she is scared. None of that gets to her, what she is doing is rooted in something much more overpowering than his cunning attempts, something much more damaging.

Deep down, Juliana knows it won’t work. Maybe she wants to prove it to everyone who is trying to dictate her life. Maybe she just wants to punish herself. But if she can’t have love, she is going to try the normal everyone wants for her.

So, Juliana kisses him again. Longer and harder than before. This time, Sergio is ready for it and eager to respond right away. He puts a hand behind her neck and pulls her close, deepening the kiss, and Juliana finds herself closing her eyes even tighter when she feels his tongue against hers.

She forces herself to keep going, even when her body and soul reject everything about what she is doing. She feels detached from it, and yet incredibly present at the same time, and she wishes she had drunk even more to stop feeling anything altogether. Her skin prickles when Sergio takes off her jacket and moves his palms over her arms, but her only response is to move her hands to the buttons of his shirt, making him laugh as he mistakes her despair for eagerness.

They get up from the couch to move to the bedroom and she gasps in surprise when Sergio suddenly picks her up in his arms, holding her at the waist as she instinctively wraps her legs around him.

“A girl cannot do that, uh?” he chuckles, and Juliana just kisses him again because his words make it all the more unbearable.

He sets her down on the bed when they get to the room. They make quick work of taking off their clothes, then they lie down on the bed in their underwear. Sergio gets on top of her to kiss her again and with the feeling of his naked body pressing against hers, Juliana gets a sudden moment of panic over what she is about to do. She forcefully pushes it away, though, closing her eyes and kissing Sergio with a roughness she never dreamed of using with Valentina.

He tries to make it nice for her, kissing down her body until he settles between her legs. Whether he is doing it to pleasure her or get her ready, she doesn’t know, nor care. It makes no difference. It doesn’t feel good, all she can think about while he uses his mouth on her is how wrong it feels, from the coarseness of his stubble to the callousness of his hands on her thighs.

She pulls him up after a while, wanting to just get it over with instead of prolonging something that won’t make her feel good anyway. When he moves to kiss her, she just shoves him down on the bed and gets on top of him, mimicking his movements. It feels wrong, his skin is too rough under her lips, his body too bulky. She could have spent a lifetime kissing Valentina’s body, listening to her sigh quietly with every soft press of her lips, but now she has to force herself every single time she places her mouth on his skin. And when she gets him fully naked and does to him the same he did to her, she has to squeeze her fists to the point of pain to suppress the waves of nausea.

He makes her stop after a while. She is deaf to his words and compliments, just nodding whenever he asks if she wants to keep going. She lies down while he gets a condom from his wallet, swallowing back bile as she watches him get ready. 

He gets on top of her and asks her if she is sure. Juliana says yes with an emotionless voice, nothing like her nervous but confident reassurance to Valentina that she wanted to be with _her_.What she is doing with Sergio is nothing but a mechanical action, and when he pushes inside her, Juliana cannot keep herself from gasping with the pain that shoots through her.

He is careful, keeps checking up on her, but nothing he can do or say is going to make this better for her, Juliana knows that. She just grits her teeth and waits for the pain to diminish, then she tells him to keep going.

There is no participation from her part. She just lies on the bed and keeps him close to her, pressing his face into her neck so she doesn’t have to look at him. Her mind goes somewhere else despite her control, flashes of her first time with Valentina start tormenting her, making everything she is experiencing now even more unbearable in comparison to that night. She can’t help but think about Valentina’s delicate hands on her, the tenderness in her eyes, how every one of her touches seemed filled with all the care and love she was capable of. She had wanted it to last forever, to be touched by Valentina and to touch her, to watch her, over and over. Now she cannot wait for it to end, feeling sicker with each second that goes by. Tears fill her eyes and she wonders how her mother could want for her something like this, something that makes her so miserable and makes her feel disgusted with herself.

When it’s finally over and Sergio rolls off of her, panting and smiling, Juliana turns on her side away from him, pulling the blanket on her to cover her body, suddenly feeling more naked and vulnerable than ever before in her life. More tears come and start rolling down her face, more and more unstoppable with each attempt at holding them back. Whatever she thought to achieve by sleeping with Sergio, whatever she wanted to prove to herself and everyone else, it is all gone, replaced by revulsion and an even more consuming pain over what her life turned out to be.

Sergio asks her if she liked it and she can only say she feels sick, but that’s an understatement. She doesn’t just feel sick, she loathes herself. She feels like she betrayed someone who is no longer even hers to betray. 

Her heart doesn’t care about that, though, and all she can think about, all she can _feel_ , is Valentina. The ghost of her voice, of her touch, of everything they had together. It’s all gone now, and whatever normality is supposed to be, it isn’t an option for her, not without destroying herself in the process. 

_Her_ normality is gone from her life, together with Valentina. And even like this, even with the sickness in her stomach and the ache between her legs, nothing hurts more than the reality that Valentina didn’t choose her, that Valentina doesn’t love her anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! New chapter! This one and the upcoming one work back to back, like a part 1 and 2, but I thought it would be better to split them to not make one big chapter feel too crammed and heavy, both emotionally and plot-wise. This part was extremely emotional to write. 
> 
> Be aware that the chapter contains discussions/conversations about sexual assault. Nothing graphic is shown as this takes place in the aftermath, but it is discussed so read at your own discretion. I wrote this with all the sensitivity and respect possible, I hope my writing will show it.
> 
> As usual, enjoy and let me know what you think with a comment or a message!

_“Do you remember when I taught you how to dance?”_

_They are swaying, keeping each other close as they slowly move as one._

_“You didn’t teach me,” she says, smiling against the other girl’s skin. “I still can’t dance.”_

_“We’re dancing now, aren’t we?”_

_She pulls back enough to look at the other girl. Juliana is smiling at her. Her dark eyes are warm, soft, they seem to shine behind the long lashes. Her gaze is so tender Valentina feels her heart swell in her chest with how in love she is. Everything else has fallen away. Juliana is all she is aware of, the scent of her hair, the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body pressed against hers while they dance. Nothing else matters. Nothing else can touch her._

_“Can we stay like this forever?” Valentina says, nuzzling at Juliana’s cheek.The other girl doesn’t say anything, she just tightens her arm around Valentina’s waist. Valentina feels the warmth of her palm against her back and instinctively curls into Juliana, making herself small and resting her face against the other girl’s neck, taking in the soothing scent of her skin._

_“I miss you,” she whispers._

_“I’m always here.”_

_A clanging sound behind her and a sudden icy gust against her back disrupt Valentina’s serenity and make her shudder._

_She quickly turns around but Juliana places her hand on her face and makes her turn her head and meet her eyes again._

_“I’m here,” she repeats, even more purposefully than before._

“Princess?”

_Valentina’s eyes fill with tears as she feels everything good crack and shatter around her._

_“I’m so tired,”she whispers, voice small and cracking with the need to cry. Juliana pulls her even closer to her, pressing their foreheads together and softly tracing the skin behind Valentina’s ear with her thumb. Valentina can’t help but close her eyes, trying to cling to that tenderness and get lost in it._

“Hey.”

_“Don’t be afraid,” Juliana says, rubbing their noses together. “When it gets too much, I’ll take you away from it.”_

_“Promise me?”_

_Instead of answering with words, Juliana presses her lips against Valentina’s._

“Hey princesita… are you awake?”

Valentina doesn’t answer when the question reaches her ears. She tries to take her mind away again, to go back to that feeling of warmth and safety but it’s too late, she is too conscious for it now. 

She lies on her uninjured shoulder, slowly breathing in and out with her eyes barely open, hooded with exhaustion. She is completely still except for the light trembling of her body. Cold has seeped into her bones so deeply that she has gone stiff, numb. Her ability to feel has reduced to one feeling only: pain. 

She has her back turned away from the man who walked in, Carlos, but his steps resonate in her ears. She blinks slowly when she hears him stop next to the mattress; a single tear makes its way down the bridge of her nose, but beyond that, Valentina doesn’t move. She wouldn’t be able to even if she wanted to, and any shred of fight she had left has been completely annihilated by now, crushed and destroyed by the abuse they inflicted on her until she felt broken in her spirit as much as in her body. 

She can’t stop the shudder that runs down her spine when she feels Carlos’ hand on her back. He trails his fingers over her naked body, tracing every cut and bruise that mars her skin. She wonders if there’s a least one inch of her body left uninjured, inside and out; she is hurting so much that she doubts it.

“Ah, Mugres, Mugres…” Carlos suddenly sighs, clicking his tongue in disappointment. He moves his fingers up Valentina’s neck and over her left cheek, covered in dried blood, and Valentina can’t help but wince silently when he brushes against the gash that runs across her cheekbone. It’s the ghost of a touch but it immediately awakens the memory of the burning pain she had felt when Mugres had sliced through her skin with his knife, leaving her sobbing on the floor and holding her bleeding face until she had completely run out of tears and energy.

“I hate what he did to you,” Carlos says, shaking his head. “He has such a bad temper, doesn’t know how to treat a woman.”

Valentina’s body goes rigid when Carlos pulls at her shoulder and forces her to turn around and look at him. She finds a small smirk on his face, the same she has grown to hate with every fiber of her being. 

“I can’t blame him, though. He told me what you did.” He moves his other hand up to cup Valentina’s face, ignoring her weak attempts to turn her head. His thumb finds her bottom lip, tracing it back and forth repeatedly. “Such a naughty girl, going around biting people.”

A wave of revulsion twists Valentina’s stomach into a painful knot when she remembers what Mugres had tried to do, not satisfied with violating her in just one way. Her reaction had been instinctive, out of her control, and it had left her hurt and beaten up within an inch of her life.

Carlos puts pressure with his thumb, forcing Valentina’s lips apart. 

“Are you gonna be naughty with me too?” he whispers, eyes fixed on his finger as it slips behind Valentina’s teeth and inside her mouth. 

Valentina’s first instinct when she feels his pad press over her tongue is to snap her jaws shut and rip his finger off of his hand. She doesn’t do it though. She keeps her eyes on him, feeling her body grow even more numb and exhausted as she takes in his dark gaze and the implications behind it. Her eyes are stinging with fresh tears by the time he pulls his thumb away with a chuckle and moves his stare down her naked body, stopping between her legs and making Valentina instinctively clench them. He smiles when he notices the movement.

“Don’t worry princesita, I won’t touch you right now,” he says with a laugh. “You’re too tender still. You’d pass out right away, it’s not fun like that.”

Valentina feels hot, silent tears run down her temple to mix with the sweat and blood in her hair. The burning between her thighs seem to intensify after his comment, a horrific reminder of everything they did to her. Her skin itches and prickles with the ghost of every touch forced on her, injecting filth into her veins and cracking her well past her limits of endurance.

The memories make her want to throw up, but she has thrown up before—after the first time Carlos pinned her down on the mattress—and has only felt more sick afterwards. She wants to pass out but she has learned that it doesn’t change anything; they aren’t all like Carlos, some don’t care about the state she is in. 

There is no escape, no way to put a stop to this that she can think of, other than one.

“Why don’t you just kill me?” Valentina whispers with hoarse voice, her throat dry and rubbed raw by all the screaming and crying.

“Do you want to die, princesita?” Carlos asks casually, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. 

Valentina looks away for a moment, trying and failing to keep the tears at bay. She is horrified by the realization that she is actually thinking about his question, that she is wondering if death would be a relief, if it would be better than another minute of this. But her mind goes to something else entirely, the one thing that kept her alive and sane throughout this nightmare. One person.

She closes her bloodshot eyes and shakes her head.

“No.”

Valentina can barely suppress a violent flinch when Carlos suddenly starts laughing out loud.

“Then why are you asking?” he says in a mocking tone. “Besides, you know the answer. We can’t kill you, Alacrán needs you to find your girlfriend, or did you forget already? Are you dumb? Did we fuck you stupid?” 

Valentina clenches her jaw until her teeth start hurting. She tastes bile in the back of her throat, not just remembering but physically feeling on her body everything Carlos and the others did to her. It’s so intense and excruciating it makes her want to rip her skin off of herself.

“What’s with that face?” Carlos asks with a dark smile. “Are you thinking about her? Juliana?” 

Valentina frowns and grits her teeth even tighter. She hates Juliana’s name in his mouth, he makes it sound filthy, like he cannot wait to get his hands on the other girl and hurt Juliana as much as he hurt her. 

A part of her wants to react, to tell him that he is the dumb one because she would never give Juliana up, she’d take it all over and over to keep the other girl from experiencing what she did. Her instinct of self-preservation prevails though, and she keeps her mouth shut, too tired and in pain to provoke him into hurting her. He is already entirely too eager to do it without her encouragement.

“You know, now that it’s just the two of us, let me tell you. I understand why you went all gay for her.”

The comment makes Valentina groan despite her resolution to remain impassive, but when she tries to turn her face away, Carlos tightens his fingers on her jaw, holding her in position.

“Don’t be rude now, I’m talking to you. Yeah, she’s not really my type.” He stops suddenly, looking away for a moment as if lost in his thoughts. The small chuckle he lets out and his next words make Valentina want to kill him. “She’s Mugres’ type for sure. But I don’t blame you for wanting a piece of that ass.”

Valentina wants to gag. It’s something she’s never going to get used to, the way they keep bringing Juliana up to hurt her. It makes their relationship feel more and more tainted with every disgusting word that comes out of their mouths, and when it comes to it, Carlos is the worst. 

“You know, you’re my favorite without a doubt, but I think I’ll try her out anyway.”

Valentina jerks her face away, pulling back hard enough that she manages to get free for a moment. It’s only a moment, though. Carlos’ fingers dig into her jaw right away again and keep her still. He smiles when he sees the sudden anger in her eyes. He leans in, close enough that Valentina feels his breath at the corner of her mouth. 

“Don’t be jealous, I’ll make her feel good. You know all about it.” 

Blind rage overrides any other emotion and Valentina finally snaps. She shoots up as quickly as her injured body allows and tries to hit Carlos with her sane hand, but her violent reaction only makes him laugh. He has to do nothing more than swat her arm away and add a little more force to the grip on her face to keep her restrained.

“God, you have no idea how hard I get whenever you try to fight.” He looks down between her clenched legs, taking in all the scratches and bruises he left behind. He looks at her again, laughing louder. “Well, maybe you do have an idea.”

A strained cry tears its way out of Valentina’s throat, filled with all her anger and frustration and pain.

“Let me go!” she cries out and punches at his shoulder but it’s useless, all she manages is to tire herself out and consume the little energy she still had. Carlos lets her wear herself out like that, pulling away only when she goes slump on the mattress. She is a panting, crying mess by the time he stands up, towering over her.

“I wish we had the time for another round,” he says, tilting his head to take in her exposed body. Valentina buries her face into the mattress and pull her knees close to her body, hunching her shoulders and curling her body into a tiny ball, as if making herself as small as possible is going to protect whatever is left of her.

The sound of the metal door creaking open makes Valentina tighten into herself even more. Carlos looks at the entrance behind him and chuckles quietly.

“It’s gonna have to wait, baby,” he says. Then he steps away, leaving room for the person who just walked in. Valentina feels her blood run cold when a familiar, loathed voice reaches her ears.

“Hola, mija!”

Alacrán enters the room followed by Mugres and immediately makes his way towards Valentina. She digs her fingers into the fabric of the mattress, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself invisible with each step closer. She is not invisible though, she is completely exposed, to his stare and to whatever he wishes to do to her.

“How are you, princess?” he asks, piercing Valentina with his stare. He lets out a chuckle at the sight of all the signs of the abuse she endured at the hands of his men. 

“Well, you don’t look much like a princess anymore, do you?” he lets out a loud laugh and Valentina slowly opens her eyes, suddenly overcome with the scorching need to wrap her hands around his throat and squeeze the life out of him. She has never considered herself a hateful person but she _hates_ him with everything she has. Alacrán, Carlos… she hates them all, she wants them all dead.

“Wow!” Alacrán says with a surprised whistle. He crouches down next to her, making her flinch with the instinct to recoil, and points at the cut on her face. “What the hell happened here?”

“Ask Mugres,” Carlos laughs, lighting up a cigarette and leaning against the wall to enjoy the scene. Alacrán turns around and looks at his man, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

“The bitch bit me,” Mugres growls, instinctively reaching with a hand between his legs as if he can still feel the pain of it. Valentina glances up at him for a moment, but it’s enough to see the livid look in his eyes, screaming his desire to hurt her even more than he already has.

“Seriously?!” Alacrán looks at Mugres first and then at Valentina, and when she refuses to meet his stare, his features twist in amusement and he laughs out loud.

“I swear, you never fail to entertain me, mija,” he shakes his head with a chuckle, thoroughly enjoying the situation. “So you do have some fight left in you. I thought my men had broken you for good.”

Valentina closes her eyes, feeling a whimper itch at the back of her throat with all the images that suddenly fill her head. A stream of moments, of faces, takes shape inside her mind, forcing her senses to zone in on those memories and wrap her up in the horror of them. She doesn’t want to think about it, but what they did to her sticks to her body like a parasite, and the more she tries keep her mind empty, the more she feels like she is suffocating.

“Good thing I have more of them who can’t wait to meet you.”

Valentina feels her blood run cold, her fingers grow icy and even more numb than they already were. A rasping breath escapes from her lips that makes Alacrán laugh quietly.

“What, aren’t you excited?” 

He starts running the tip of his fingers over Valentina’s left arm, back and forth from her shoulder to her wrist, brushing over the scrapes and fingerprint marks that cover her skin. He wraps his hand around her wrist and lifts up her arm, shaking it lightly with a smile, relishing her inability to pull away because of how hurt her hand is. He drops her arm back down after a few seconds and Valentina can’t help but wince with the way her broken hand hits the mattress without her being able to do anything about it. Her entire left arm is completely useless, a phantom limb that keeps causing her agony.

“I’ve never really been much interested in you, princesita,” he says with a shrug. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re very pretty, even like this. But I’d much rather fuck your sister. Or your girlfriend.”

His laugh is immediately joined by the ones of Carlos and Mugres, all three of them finding amusement in Valentina’s pain and humiliation. Valentina bites at her chapped, bottom lip hard enough to almost make it bleed, desperate to go deaf and ignore Alacrán’s words about Eva and Juliana, and especially to go blind to the images that immediately form in her head.

“That’s just me, though. My men _love_ you. Don’t you, guys?”

“Oh, absolutely…” Carlos whispers heavily. “Can’t wait to show her again just how much.”

The sheer lust and enthusiasm in his voice make Valentina twist her face and press it into the mattress, crying silently against the fabric. She suddenly finds herself reconsidering her answer to his question, wondering if death would be better than this, better than the constant degradation and pain that are poisoning her insides.

“So tell me, Valentina,” Alacrán asks, always with the same grin on his face. “Are you ready for more fun times with my men?”

Valentina lets the tears run down her face without doing anything to stop them. All her will to fight back, to even pretend to be brave, has been completely stripped away from her. She has no defenses left, no mask of strength to put up. She can only answer with the truth.

“No.”

Alacrán’s eyes grow dark and his grin stretches even more across his face, thinking he has finally won.

“So you’re finally ready to tell me where your girlfriend is hiding.”

Valentina’s mind takes her away from the cold reality she is stuck in. She remembers lying in bed with Juliana, feeling the warmth of her body against hers while she was holding her close. She thinks about her smile, her eyes.

She can’t do this anymore, every second grows more unbearable than the one before. But still, she has nothing but one answer for Alacrán.

“No.”

Alacrán’s eyes widen in surprise with her whispered breath. He looks back at Carlos and Mugres, finding the same surprise on their faces. He lets it affect him only for a moment, though. When he goes back to staring at Valentina, the smile is back on his face, even more threatening than before.

“You know you’re dying, right princesita?”

Valentina knits her brows together, her whole face scrunches up with a sudden surge of complete, overpowering despair.

“You’re dying,” Alacrán repeats, digging his claws even deeper inside Valentina because she is perfectly aware that he isn’t just trying to scare her. He is telling the truth, she can feel it in her body as much as in her spirit. She _is_ dying.

She cannot defend herself, she cannot escape, she cannot stop them from hurting her; and if they keep hurting her the way they have, she _knows_ that she is going to die. But if she really has to die there, in that hole, she can still choose to make it mean something.

Valentina blinks the tears out of her eyes to clear her vision, then she turns her head up and meets Alacrán’s stare.

“Then I’m gonna die keeping you away from what you want.” Her voice is barely louder than a raspy whisper but her gaze is unwavering, even through the tears. “I’m gonna die watching you lose.”

Alacrán only looks back at her without saying anything for several seconds, just letting a tense silence stretch between them. His face is unreadable during those long moments, completely deprived of any emotion. Soon enough though, Alacrán’s lips curl up into a small, cold smile, and Valentina feels her chest tighten with the way his eyes grow darker than ever before.

“No Valentina,” he says, shaking his head. “You’re gonna die watching me do to your girlfriend what my men did to you.”

Valentina’s last attempt at defiance turns into a wave of terror as Alacrán leans even closer and promises more horrors for her and Juliana.

“You think you’ve been through hell? I’m gonna do things to Juliana that will make what you’ve been through seem like heaven. I’m gonna hurt her so bad she’s no longer gonna be a human being, just a ruined, broken toy.” 

He smiles when he sees the horrified look in Valentina’s eyes. Valentina tries to shake her head but she is paralyzed, more and more petrified and nauseated with each word that slithers out of his mouth.

“I’m gonna make you watch every second of it. She’s gonna know it was your fault, Valentina. She’s gonna hate you for it.”

“No… No, I—”

“And when she finally begs me to kill her,” he cuts off her incoherent, terrified mumbling. “I’m not gonna give her what she wants, no.”

His smile widens.

“I’m gonna sell her.”

Valentina feels a tear fall from her eye. She stares at Alacrán with wide eyes and mouth agape, too shocked and horrified to even form a thought. There is no relief in knowing Alacrán changed his mind about killing Juliana, what he came up with instead is infinitely more monstrous, something Valentina cannot even bear to imagine but Alacrán only takes pleasure in creating the most horrid, vivid scenario and forcing it inside Valentina’s mind.

“That’s right, princess,” he says, playing with a strand of Valentina’s hair. “I’m gonna sell her to the nastiest whorehouse I can find and you’re gonna die knowing that your girlfriend is being drugged and fucked fifty times a day.”

“Please…”

“Your last wish is gonna be that I kill your girlfriend, Valentina. Isn’t that poetic?”

“You can’t—”

Alacrán moves his hand from her hair to her cheeks, squeezing and pulling her close to her, cutting off her protests as well as her breath.

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he hisses against her face. “And on that note…”

Alacrán smiles and gives Valentina a rough push, shoving her back on the mattress while simultaneously standing up.

“I have a surprise for you, princesita.” He turns around and gestures to Mugres who promptly exits the room with a chuckle. Alacrán goes back to looking at Valentina, taking in the way she struggles to pull herself up in a seating position. The confusion on her face is matched only by the dread she feels.

“Someone has come visit you.”

Valentina’s heart skips a beat when she hears Alacrán’s words. Her eyes immediately darts to the door and then back at Alacrán in desperate need of an explanation.

“What…?” 

She cannot even form a proper question, her throat has dried up with the fear of what his words might mean. Her head shoots in Carlos’ direction when she hears him chuckle, a sound that reaches her eardrums like a startling screech in her tense state.

“This is gonna be fun,” he says with a smile, dropping the butt of his finished cigarette on the floor and pushing himself up from the wall. 

Valentina looks at Alacrán again and then back at the door. She grows deathly pale with horror as one single scenario takes shape inside her mind, the worst and yet the only thing she can of that will explain Alacrán’s words.

“Juliana…”

The name tumbles from her lips beyond her control, a tiny whimper that makes the men in the room laugh. She starts shaking as if small shock waves were running through her body and more silent tears fall from her unblinking eyes. Her mind is on the verge of cracking, reeling with what she might be about to see: Juliana in their hands, being dragged there by Mugres to be subjected to the horrors Alacrán promised, her worst nightmare.

The moments drag excruciatingly slow, a lifetime to Valentina, but after what was probably only a couple of minutes, Mugres walks back into the room, and Valentina’s heart skips a beat when she sees he is not alone. The feeling only lasts for a moment though, and quickly morphs into confusion when Valentina takes in _who_ was dragged in by Alacrán’s man.

The hostage is very clearly _not_ Juliana, and very clearly not a girl in the first place. A gasp escapes from Valentina’s throat with the relief of the tension that had accumulated in her body but there is no real solace with that realization. The mystery and unpredictability of the situation is only dreadful to her.

Valentina observes the guy Mugres brought inside the room. He has a bag on his head, concealing his face to her, and his hands are tied in front of him. The noises coming from beneath the bag, a constant string of low whines and grunts tell Valentina that he is gagged, but despite all the restraints he keeps struggling against Mugres’ hold, to the point that Valentina can see the narco’s face twist in anger. If she weren’t completely paralyzed by fear, she’d tell the hostage to stop fighting; she knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Mugres’ anger.

“Did he give you much trouble?” Alacrán asks Mugres, casually walking towards the two men in the middle of the room. Mugres clicks his tongue and gives a rough shove to the tied guy, trying to get him to stop struggling.

“This idiot won’t stop squirming.”

“Good, then this is gonna be even more entertaining than I thought.”

Alacrán laughs and turns to look at Valentina with a chilling smile.

“Say hi to your visitor, Valentina.”

Alacrán’s body is right between Valentina and the tied up man, obstructing her view. She sees Alacrán remove the bag from his head but she can’t still make out his face from that position. After pulling the gag out of the guy’s mouth though, Alacrán smiles and steps aside, leaving Valentina a clear view.

When their eyes meet and she finally sees who he is, her breath gets knocked right out of her lungs.

“Lucho?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! As promised, here is part 2. Due to having split the chapter in two parts, this is one of the shortest entries yet, but I hope you guys will like it anyway. This marks the last chapter with Valentina as a prisoner, for anyone who was curious when that would come to an end! I feel this chapter is gonna make people scream, something that’s encouraged this time lol
> 
> Chapter contains graphic depiction of violence (not on Valentina)
> 
> Enjoy and let me know your thoughts with a comment or a message!

Valentina stares at her ex-boyfriend, so completely paralyzed by the shock of seeing him there that she cannot bring herself to do anything else. After uttering his name she seems to have lost any ability to speak, her mouth stunned just like the rest of her body. The surprise of finding herself face to face with Lucho is so sharp and intense she cannot bring herself to focus and rationalize his presence there yet, she feels the nerves inside her temples pull and throb under her skin to the point she thinks her brain is about to collapse and implode on itself.

It only takes one laugh from Alacrán, though, to bring her back to the horrifying reality of her situation, and her body grows icy from her face down to her toes, a disturbing uneasiness settling into her and sticking in, right under her ribcage.

Lucho squints against the sudden onslaught of light that hits his eyes after who knows how long with the bag covering his head, but once he recovers his sight and he locks gaze with Valentina, she sees shock take over him right away. 

“Valentina…” he whispers, his eyes wide just like his mouth as he takes in her conditions. Valentina can only watch in horror how he instinctively tries to lunge forward but is immediately stopped by Mugres.

“Not so fast, buddy,” Alacrán’s man says, grabbing Lucho’s hair and putting his neck into an armlock.

“Let me go, you fucker!” Lucho screams, flailing around with all his strength to try and get out of Mugres’ hold. He tugs against the arm around his neck but he only manages to choke himself in the process. He keeps trying though, but his yells and protests are cut short when Alacrán walks up to him and sucker punches him in the stomach, making the boy double over in pain.

“No!” Valentina screams, the violent action suddenly snapping her out of her horrified trance. She tries to stand up and reach for Lucho, but Carlos suddenly appears behind her and holds her back, wrapping one arm around her and tugging at her hair with the other hand. The chuckle he lets out against her ear brings tears to her eyes.

“Don’t—” Lucho coughs loudly, still trying to recover from the blow. “Don’t touch her, you bastard.”

“Oh, Carlos did much more than just touch her, Lucho,” Alacrán says, looking back at Valentina and Carlos with a laugh. “Isn’t that right?”

Carlos smiles against Valentina’s face and abruptly presses a kiss on her cheek. Valentina sobs in disgust and tries to jerk away from him but he only tightens his hold on her, tugging her backwards so that she is fully exposed to the stares of everyone in the room.

“Your girl was sweet enough to please us all, Lucho,” Carlos says with a chuckle. “Can you tell?”

Lucho lets out an angry hiss through gritted teeth and again, he tries to fight against Mugres’ hold, but Carlos’ question makes him stop and look at Valentina again. His eyes wander over Valentina’s body, darkening and glistening more with tears with each second that goes by, and Valentina realizes that only now has he truly registered the condition she is in. 

She knows what she looks like, she can feel it even without seeing herself reflected into a mirror, naked and bruised and covered with marks and blood. When Lucho’s stare settles between her legs, Valentina feels the burning need to wrench herself away from Carlos’ hold and curl in on herself, hiding her body from view. She didn’t think she was capable of feeling self-conscious anymore, not after spending all this time naked and exposed to her captors’ eyes and touches, but Lucho’s look is enough to spread a horrid sense of shame through her body, making her wish he would just look away and give her an irrational semblance of modesty.

“She is entertaining for sure, and stubborn,” Alacrán suddenly says, capturing Lucho’s attention and making his gaze shift from Valentina to him. “I’m sure you know all about that. But enough about her, you’re the star of the moment, Lucho.”

Both Lucho and Valentina frown at that, but Valentina’s confusion is paired with a wave of apprehension. Unlike Lucho, she knows exactly what they’re capable of.

“What do you want, money?” Lucho asks between ragged breaths, and Valentina feels her chest tighten with the memory of when she was in his place, ignorant about Alacrán’s true intentions. “A lowlife piece of shit like you dares to blackmail—”

The boy’s angry rambling is cut off by Mugres tugging harshly at his hair, straining his neck so far back he struggles to keep breathing.

“He really is an idiot,” Alacrán laughs, turning around to nod at Valentina. “No wonder you dumped him.”

“Yeah, she needed a real man,” Carlos says, and Valentina strains against his hold, whining in anger and frustration at her utter helplessness against their torment and humiliation.

“I got plenty of money, kid,” Alacrán says, walking closer to Lucho. “You’re not here for that.”

“Then why—”

“Because I want something from your girl,” Alacrán cuts him off. “But so far, she’s been too stubborn to cooperate. So you’re here to help me convince her.”

Valentina feels her heart drop down to her stomach with Alacrán’s vague words. A mantle of dread settles over her, and she finds herself holding her breath without even realizing it, growing more and more tense with each circle that Alacrán walks around Lucho. He doesn’t have to explain himself for Valentina to be terrified, she has learned on her skin just how dangerous he can be.

“Help you how?” Lucho asks defiantly, and Valentina wants to tell him to shut up, not to play their game, but it’s out of her hands. It has all been out of her hands ever since they dragged her into that hell hole.

“How?” Alacrán laughs, stopping next to Lucho. He glances at Valentina for a moment and she instinctively shakes her head, silently begging him not to do whatever he plans to do. Alacrán only smiles in return.

“Like this.”

Out of nowhere, he grabs one of Lucho’s fingers and wrenches it backwards using all his strength. A horrible snapping sound resonates in the room, immediately followed by Lucho’s screams of agony.

“No!” Valentina cries out, trying to shoot forward from her kneeling position but Carlos holds her back, keeping her trapped in his hold no matter how much she fights.

“Leave him alone!” she yells at Alacrán, continuing to struggle despite knowing the futility of it by now. She watches in horror how Lucho bends over in pain, whining and sobbing while he protectively brings his injured hand to his chest. The scene only makes Alacrán and his men laugh at him.

“What a pussy,” Alacrán says, pointing at Lucho with a laugh. “You cry louder than your girl.”

As if to underline his words, Alacrán grabs Lucho’s tied hands and forces his arms stretched forward, making the boy scream in pain and fear again.

“Stop! Don’t hurt him!” Valentina protests again, crying out when Carlos tugs harshly at her hair to keep her pressed against him.

“Stop?” Alacrán asks, glancing back at her with a smile. “We’ve only just started, Valentina.”

Another heart-wrenching scream comes out of Lucho’s throat when Alacrán grabs and breaks another one of his fingers. The boy tries to pulls back despite the horrible pain in his hand but he has nowhere to go, kept still by Alacrán and Mugres together.

“You’re the one who can stop this Valentina,” Alacrán tells her, confirming Valentina’s horrible fear about his reason for bringing Lucho there.

“Please, don’t—”

She is cut off by yet another wail of agony, even worse than before when Alacrán takes one of Lucho’s already broken fingers and twists it to the side.

“Stop!” Valentina screams, tears falling down her face as she watched Lucho double over and gag with the intensity of the pain. 

“It’s not as easy when it’s someone else suffering because of you, is it Valentina?”

Alacrán is right. Even with everything Lucho put her through, watching him cry and sob in pain is close to unbearable to Valentina. Her stomach clenches and unclenches with constant waves of nausea with the realization that this isn’t going to stop unless she gives them what they want. She cannot give Juliana up but watching someone else hurt because of a choice she makes threatens to break her in a way she hasn’t experienced yet.

“How heartless can you be, princesita?” Alacrán asks, pulling out a pocket knife. Valentina shakes her head and struggles even harder than before, ignoring the pain that shoots through her injured body with each harsh movement. It’s all pointless though, and her scream blends with Lucho’s when Alacrán slashes the boy across his chest with the sharp blade.

“Please stop! He has nothing to do with this!” Valentina cries out, angry tears running down her face.

“Exactly,” Alacrán merely replies with a cold smile. “He has nothing to do with it but he is hurting because of _you_.”

Valentina knows what he is trying to do, how he is trying to break her not only through Lucho’s pain but with guilt too. The worst thing though, is that it’s working.

“Val…” Lucho suddenly sobs. Drool is coming out of his mouth, his eyes are closed but tears keep falling down from behind his lids. She has never seen him look so small and desperate.

“Do you wanna see how much he can take?” Alacrán asks, pressing the knife on Lucho’s cheek without cutting through the skin. The pressure is enough to make Lucho sob even louder.

“Or do you wanna jump to the part where I end his pathetic life?” he moves the knife to Lucho’s throat and Valentina shoots forward, barely held in place by Carlos this time.

“No!” she screams, loud enough to hurt her throat. “Please, don’t! Please—”

“Then tell me what I want to know,” Alacrán cuts her off, his voice suddenly cold and serious. He moves the knife away but Valentina’s blood grows cold inside her veins when he pulls out a gun and points it at Lucho’s head.

“Vale…” Lucho cries out when the sound of the gun being cocked resonates in the room. “Please Val, what do they want?”

“I- I can’t…” Valentina shakes her head, frantically trying to think of something that will put a stop to this, a way to keep Juliana safe without it costing Lucho his life. Alacrán is immovable though, stone-cold in his pursuit of what he wants.

“I’ll give you ten seconds, Valentina. Tell me where Juliana is or I’ll blow his brains out.”

His words suddenly make Lucho’s eyes snap open. He locks gaze with Valentina and she is surprised to find in his eyes not only the fear and pain from before, but confusion too. It all seems to happen in less than a second to Valentina, but she watches all the stages her ex boyfriend go through, from confusion to realization to finally something she can only identify as anger.

“Juliana?” Lucho hisses. Valentina is so wrapped in his stare that she almost doesn’t realize that Alacrán has already started counting.

“Eight,” the narco says. “Seven.”

“Tell him!” Lucho suddenly yells, to everyone’s surprise. “Valentina, tell him!”

Valentina shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut to try and drown out both Alacrán and Lucho’s voice. She tries to make her brain work, to come up with a plan, a bargaining chip at least, but she has nothing. She cannot stop this, like she couldn’t stop them from hurting her, but knowing this time it will be someone else paying for her choices feels like being stabbed in the stomach, over and over.

“Valentina!”

“Four. Three.”

She opens her eyes and sees Alacrán press the gun against Lucho’s temple.

“Two.”

“Wait!”

Alacrán stills. Everyone in the room does, all the attention shifting onto Valentina after the shout came out of her mouth. She stares with wide eyes at the barrel of the gun and then at Alacrán, her body shaking more violently than ever with all the tension running through her veins.

“I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you just— don’t shoot him, please. Don’t—”

“Tell me,” Alacrán hisses, pressing the gun even harder against Lucho’s head. When Valentina sees his finger tighten on the trigger, she forces herself to finish what she started, no matter how terrified of the outcome she is.

“Valentina, tell me or—”

“She’s not in the city,” she blurts out, her heart beating so fast its thumping is visible against her chest. “S-she… she left with her mother to be safe. They…”

“Left for where?”

Valentina hesitates for a moment. A tear falls down her cheek when she blinks. What she is doing goes beyond the definition of dangerous, but it’s all she could come up with to keep Lucho alive and Juliana away from them. The fear of not being convincing enough with her lie, though, keeps tugging and twisting at her stomach, leaving her with the need to bend over and throw up out of pure stress.

“I swear to fucking God, Valentina—”

“Matamoros,” she finally says. “Matamoros.”

Her features twist and more tears run down her face, she doesn’t have to fake those. A gasp pushes out of her throat when Alacrán finally pulls the gun away from Lucho’s head, showing he believed her lie. Valentina feels like she is running on pure adrenaline, her body quite literally buzzing with tension.

“You surprised me, princesita,” Alacrán says with a chuckle, putting his gun away. “I didn’t think you’d give in this easily. I should have brought him in sooner, you clearly care about this idiot more than you care about your girlfriend. It would’ve spared you all the fun times with my men.”

“Maybe she liked it more than she cares to admit,” Mugres laughs out loud, making Valentina grimace in pure loathing and revulsion.

She does her best to ignore his comment though, and instead, for the first time since she let out that lie and stopped Alacrán, she moves her gaze over to Lucho’s face. What she finds there makes her freeze.

His features are crooked with evident shock and disbelief at her actions, his eyes seem to glow with unrestrained anger. No one other than Valentina is paying attention to him but one look from Lucho is enough to petrify Valentina with fear. She knows he knows Juliana isn’t in Matamoros, he is perfectly aware that she lied, that she just gambled not only with her own life but with his as well. He keeps his eyes on her and scrunches his brows together, silently warning her about not going through with what she started. 

A shudder runs down Valentina’s spine when she spots the tinge of a threat inside his look. She knows Lucho is thinking about himself, about the danger she just put him in, but she has no other alternative to keep both him and Juliana alive. His low hiss reaches her ears when she looks away and drops her gaze but she acts deaf to it, too worried about Alacrán and his men to pay attention to Lucho’s anger.

“If the girl is in Matamoros,” Carlos complains, “how the fuck are we supposed to get there?”

“The same way we got here, idiot,” Alacrán replies, then he moves his gaze on to Valentina.

“You could have saved yourself so much pain if you’d talked from the start,” he says, sizing her up and down and then letting out a small laugh. Valentina holds his stare, lips twitching with pent up anger, but she forces herself to remain quiet. She feels another wave of uneasiness when Alacrán walks up all the way to Lucho again.

“You really care about him, uh? Enough to sell out your girlfriend like that.” Alacrán nudges at Lucho’s shoulder to get his attention and lets out a quiet chuckle.

“I didn’t think she had it in her,” he tells Lucho. “I thought she loved Chino’s daughter more than anything. Looks like you’re special, kid.”

Valentina feels Lucho’s glare burn into her, more and more piercing with each word that comes out of Alacrán’s mouth. Only they know the truth, just how off-base Alacrán actually is in judging Valentina’s priorities. Even without sharing a single word, Valentina can _feel_ Lucho’s rage, fed on by all his unresolved issues over finding out about hers and Juliana’s relationship. She knows it’s there, but she underestimates it. That’s her biggest mistake.

“We’re gonna go get your girlfriend now, Valentina,” Alacrán says. “And you better have told me the truth. Because if you didn’t, the boy right here is gonna get—”

“She lied!”

Valentina’s mind splinters in two with the violence of the shock. Her eyes snap to Lucho after his scream, just like everyone else’s.

“What did you say?” Alacrán asks, his voice suddenly thick with confusion and anger. Valentina looks at Lucho and frantically shakes her head to try and stop him but it’s too late.

“She lied, Juliana didn’t leave, she’s still in the city!”

“Lucho, don’t—”

“She’s hiding in a mansion that belongs to her family.”

“NO!”

The scream that comes out of Valentina’s mouth is inhuman. She throws herself forward, screaming her throat raw and thrashing about like a feral creature, so violently that Carlos has to push her down onto the mattress and press his hand on the back of her neck to keep her restrained. It doesn’t stop her, though. Valentina keeps fighting using all her strengths, like if she could get free from Carlos’ hold she could put a stop to the horror Lucho caused with his betrayal. 

She wails in agony when she hears him tell Alacrán the address of the house where Juliana is hiding. Her stomach churns violently, forcing a fit of coughs out of her that leaves her throat burning even more. She can barely see anything through the tears that keep filling her eyes and running down her face, but watching Lucho meet her stare for a second and then look away in shame pushes a sob out of her mouth, filled with all her pain. She thought she knew suffering, true suffering, after everything they put her through, but the despair that’s consuming her now is indescribable, it goes beyond anything she could have ever imagined, beyond anything she thought a human being could endure.

“You knew all along…” Alacrán mutters, looking at Lucho with surprise in his eyes. Lucho flinches when the criminal moves closer to him, but Alacrán only does is ruffle his hair with a laugh.

“Thank you, kid. You proved much more helpful than I initially thought.” He then turns to Valentina. “Hey, princesita! You wanna thank him, too? For getting your girlfriend killed.”

Valentina keeps sobbing, her breathing uneven and rendered straggled by the constant hiccups.

“What did you do?” she whispers to Lucho, but she isn’t looking for an answer. She closes her eyes, forcing more tears to squeeze out from behind her lids, and she keeps them closed, hopelessly praying that by the time she opens them again things will have changed and it will all have turned out to be just a nightmare. Nothing changes though, and by the time she opens her eyes again, her anguish has only intensified, making her violently shake with the intensity of it.

“You know what to do,” Alacrán says to Carlos and Mugres, making Valentina whine hopelessly and bury her flushed, wet face into the mattress.

“First can we play with them a little?” Carlos asks Alacrán with a smile. “You know, since she lied.”

Lucho immediately tries to protest but nobody pays attention to him. Alacrán looks at Valentina’s shaking body and back at Carlos, then he shrugs.

“Yes, fine.” Both Carlos and Mugres grin with the permission. “But keep it short. Get me the girl.”

Carlos nods with a smile and pulls himself up, decreasing the pressure he was exerting on Valentina’s body to keep her down. The second he does, Valentina wrenches herself free and lunges forward, throwing herself at Alacrán’s feet.

“Please! Please, don’t do this!” she begs him through tears while tugging desperately at the leg of his pants. She is completely careless about humiliating herself before him, she has been reduced to a being of pure instinct and despair.

“I’ll do whatever you want!” The agony in her voice mutates it to the point of being unrecognizable to Valentina’s ears. “Take it out on me, hurt me as much as you want, just don’t— please, leave Juliana alone, I’ll give you anything you want! Please!”

Alacrán looks down at her, towering over her in the position she is in. He tilts his head to the side to take in her kneeling form better, and a smile stretches over his face at the sight of her trembling body and wide, glistening eyes. Valentina is so delirious with fear over what will happen to Juliana that she doesn’t even flinch when Alacrán moves his hand down and cups her uninjured cheek.

“I want your girlfriend, princesita.”

He pushes Valentina away with a chuckle and walks away without turning back. A desperate scream tears out of Valentina’s throat and she moves to go after him but Carlos holds her back and shoves her on the ground.

Valentina doesn’t try to fight again this time. She curls into herself, feeling herself grow numb and hollow to any feeling other than a dark, all-consuming terror. She can barely even feel pain anymore. She stares blankly into nothing, her vision filled with images of everything these men are going to do to Juliana, all the horrors they’re going to inflict on her now that they know where to find her. 

It’s no longer just fear, it’s a certainty, and infinitely more destructive because of it. She no longer has something to cling on to, there is nothing to give her hope. Alacrán was right. She is going to die watching Juliana being hurt. Everything she put herself through, all the pain and torture she endured to protect the girl she loves was in vain. She failed. 

It was all worthless.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! New chapter is here! Sorry for the wait, I’m very busy in this period so updates might take longer. I hope the length of this one makes up for the wait. It is a beast of a chapter, and a lot happens. It took a lot of time and energy to write it, so please if you read it, do let me know what you think with a comment. Thank you in advance <3
> 
> Chapter contains vague references to assault and depiction of violence.
> 
> As usual, enjoy!

Juliana steps out of the shower, not feeling any cleaner than when she walked in over thirty minutes ago. She has lost count of all the showers she took in the hours after rushing out of the apartment Sergio had found for her, even in the middle of the night when the memories of what she did hit her the hardest and kept her awake with nausea; the result is always the same.

She didn’t think it was possible to feel more miserable than how she had felt when Sergio had told her about Valentina and Lucho, but yet again she had been proven wrong, and she had felt more and more hollow and disgusted with herself as the hours had passed until she had convinced herself that there was no limit to the misery she could experience. Any shred of hope for happiness had been eradicated by the message Sergio had shown her, and she had made things worse by sleeping with him out of despair. She remembers the conversations with her mother about sex throughout her adolescence, how she had told her that she would feel different after having sex with a boy for the first time. She had felt what she assumes her mother meant after sleeping with Valentina, but having sex with Sergio hadn’t left her feeling different, only nauseated.

Juliana dresses quickly, barely taking any time to dry herself up. She feels detached from her own body, removed from any sense of purpose, a passive passenger in her own life. She’d rather have all her anger and pain back to this consuming apathy.

Her phone buzzing on her bed catches her attention. She doesn’t even have to look at it to know who it is. Yet another text from Sergio asking if they can meet and talk, yet another apology that only makes her despise what happened more. If he showed no remorse, if he didn’t care at all, it would be easier to hate him, to shift all the blame on to him, but Juliana can bring herself to hate only one person, herself.

She leaves her phone inside her room, resolving to throw herself into work, but it’s all useless this time. It’s like she isn’t there, mentally and sometimes even physically, often dropping cutleries or forgetting orders she had taken barely five minutes ago. It gets bad enough that Perlita encourages her to take a break, clearly noticing that something is wrong with the girl. Juliana knows the older woman is acting out of kindness, but her request only adds to her feeling of uselessness, bringing back the hated sting of tears behind her eyes.

She spends ten minutes outside the restaurant, just leaning against the wall and looking at the sky while trying to get a grip, but the harder she tries to empty her mind, the more she gets stuck on everything she is trying to forget. She imagines Valentina with Lucho in some extra luxurious hotel suite they can pay for without even batting an eye, too drunk and busy having sex to bother with informing Juliana that what _they_ had is over. Juliana grimaces at the thought, she hates herself for imagining Valentina like this, for vilifying her in her brain when she was the first to break things off to begin with. She cannot know what Valentina is actually doing, but she knows what _she_ did, using Sergio and being used by him, and her chest tightens when she realizes that when she thinks about sex, her experience with Sergio comes to her mind much quicker than her first time with Valentina. Bad memories always cling to the mind much more aggressively than the good ones.

Juliana goes back inside the restaurant after taking a short walk around the block, by now convinced that not even the longest break will give her back the focus and peace of mind she needs. If anything, that short time on her own only managed to make her feel even more alone than she already did, a type of loneliness so sinking and insidious to shake even her strongest resolve. She had left her house, her mother, every source of comfort she’d ever had, just because she had refused to compromise over her identity and her right to be the way she is, but now she is so tired and beaten down she would give it all up just to have her mom hold her and tell her she loves her. By the time she walks back in, she is seriously considering calling her mother after the end of her shift to tell her she is coming back home.

Perlita rushes to her the moment Juliana comes back inside the restaurant, with an expression of distress on her face that makes Juliana think she stayed out much longer than she realized and left the older woman in trouble with the customers.

“Perlita, I’m sorry,” she apologizes right away. “I didn’t realize the time—”

“Juliana come, quick,” Perlita cuts her off, grabbing her hand and rushing both to the counter. “Something horrible happened.”

“What?” Juliana asks, frowning with a sudden surge of confusion and worry. “What happened? What—”

“Here,” Perlita says, handing her the phone receiver with shaky hands. “It’s your mother. She tried to reach you but…”

Juliana doesn’t let her finish and immediately grabs the phone. She knows Perlita wouldn’t sound so upset if something truly serious didn’t happen, and her heartbeat quickens with apprehension at the thought of what it might be.

“Hello? Mama?”

“ _Juliana?!_ ” Juliana is startled by how upset her mother’s voice sound on the other end of the phone. “ _Juliana, thank God! Are you okay? I tried to reach you so many times._ ”

“I left my phone in my room, I was—”

Her explanation is cut off by the sound of her mother bursting into a fit of sobs.

“ _I thought—_ ” Lupita chokes out between hiccups. “ _When you didn’t answer I thought they got you. I thought they—_ ”

“Mom, what happened?” Juliana asks frantically, squeezing the cord of the phone inside her hand. “I’m okay, I promise. Just tell me, please. You’re scaring me.”

Juliana hears her mother sniff and suck in a ragged breath, clearly trying but failing at calming down. She sounds so wrecked Juliana can’t help but feel a wave of anxiety twist and tighten her stomach. And when her mother finally regains enough control over herself to explain what happened, Juliana’s blood freezes in her veins.

“ _Alacrán’s men. They came to the house, they found us._ ”

* * *

Juliana rushes through the streets with her heart in her throat, running as fast as she can against the limits of her body. She forces her legs to keep moving even when her spleen starts feeling like it’s on fire and her lungs threaten to explode. She ignores it all, pushed forward by the consuming fear and panic her mother’s words had instilled in her.

Lupita’s warning about not coming to her house had reached deaf ears, and she had stormed outside of the restaurant as soon as her mother had told her she was safe. After almost losing her mom to the narcos once, that reassurance was never going to be enough for Juliana. She needed to _see_ her.

Juliana feels on the verge of collapsing by the time she reaches the house. Every breath feels like swallowing shards of glass, but she ignores the pain, focused solely on finding her mother. She isn’t reassured in the slightest at the sight of all the police cars parked in front of the mansion, it only adds to her anguish. An officer tries to stop her but she forcefully pushes past him, barely wasting time with telling him she lives there. His words about that being a crime scene make her chest tighten with fear, and when she spots two agents carrying a body bag out of the house, her throat clogs with the sudden need to burst into tears.

“Mama,” she whimpers, pushing her hands into her hair. Her legs move on their own and she starts going after the men, but a familiar voice suddenly reaches her ears and stops her.

“Juli?”

Juliana whips her head in the direction the voice came from. She sees an ambulance amidst all the police cars. A tear falls down her cheek when she spots her mom standing next to it, unharmed.

“Mom…”

Juliana is already running before even being aware of it. Lupita moves almost at the same time and they collide into a crushing hug. Her mother is crying too, her body shakes against Juliana’s with the violence of her sobbing and Juliana instinctively tightens her arms around her, frantic in her need to _feel_ that her mother is okay.

“Hija…” Lupita sobs against Juliana’s skin. She pulls back and cups Juliana’s cheek, her wet eyes darting all over her daughter to make sure she is okay. She tugs Juliana close to her chest again, pressing kisses all over her face and forcing more tears out of Juliana’s eyes. She isn’t any less wrecked than her mother, releasing all the tension and fear she had accumulated by crying without restraints.

“I was so scared,” Lupita says with a trembling voice once they finally break the hug. Their hands stay entwined together, both needing the comfort of each other’s touch.

“I’m fine, mom,” Juliana shakes her head, sniveling and rubbing the tears out of her eyes. “I promise you, I’m fine. Are _you_ okay?”

Even after Lupita nods, Juliana finds herself searching her mother’s body with her gaze, looking for injuries or any sign that her mother got hurt.

“I’m okay, Juli,” Lupita reassures her. “I wasn’t even here.”

That catches Juliana’s attention, only adding more questions to her already confused state?

“You weren’t?” she asks. “Then how… what happened? I don’t—”

“I was at the apartment,” Lupita explains, “The one Panchito found for us. We were moving things out, he was helping me with it. That’s… that’s when—”

A wave of dread washes over Juliana when her mother’s voice cracks and she starts crying again.

“Mom?” she presses, despite being terrified of knowing the truth. Her mother squeezes her eyes shut and sucks in a sharp breath, trying and failing to collect herself. Instead of answering, she takes Juliana’s hand and walks both to the back of the ambulance. A gasp escapes from Juliana’s mouth when she sees who is sitting on the gurney inside the vehicle.

“Panchito…”

Panchito opens his eyes at the sound of his name. A small smile stretches on his face when he locks gaze with Juliana. The girl feels barely any relief at seeing him alive and conscious, though, too wrapped in the shock over his appearance. There is a bloody bandage wrapped around his right arm and his face is covered in cuts and bruises, one eye darkening and swelling shut already, the evidence of a brutal beating.

“Juliana, thank God. I’m so glad you’re safe.” Panchito tries to pull himself up but he immediately winces in pain, the sudden movement too much for his hurt body. Juliana quickly rushes to him and encourages to lie down again.

“No, don’t— don’t move.” Her eyes roam over the man’s body, filling more and more with a fresh wave as she takes in every visible injury. “What did they do to you…”

Panchito brings a hand to Juliana’s face, cupping her cheek softly in a gesture that is meant to be reassuring. It only makes Juliana need to cry harder.

“I’m fine, Juliana, really.”

“They shot you…”

Panchito looks at the bandage around his arm and smiles again.

“I’ll be okay, it’s not a serious wound. And I’ve been through this stuff already, these narcos aren’t original at all.” 

He laughs to try and lighten the mood, but Juliana cannot bring herself to go along, too horrified and pained by what happened, how he got hurt because of her family again.

“Really,” he says, more seriously, slightly leaning forward to look at Lupita too. “I’m gonna be okay. I’m glad it was me and not either of you.”

“What happened?” Juliana asks, feeling her sadness turn into anger against the men who did this.

“I was collecting some of your mother’s things, to help her with moving out you know, and suddenly three men broke in.”

Despite Panchito’s light attitude about the whole ordeal, Juliana doesn’t miss the way his eyes darken with the memory of what he endured.

“They shot first, asked questions later. They wanted to know where you and your mother were. I didn’t tell them and well…” He points at his face, and this time there is no warmth to his smile. It makes Juliana clench her fist to the point of pain, so mad she is.

“How did you get out alive?” she hisses, not even trying to hide her rage.

“Silent alarm,” Panchito explains. “If there’s one thing these rich people’s houses have going for them is how safe they are. Police got here before they could do anything. They killed one of them and arrested another. I don’t know about the third.”

Juliana feels her stomach tighten into a knot, only growing more worried with Panchito’s explanation. From the fact one of these men is still out there to the chilling notion that she and her mother still aren’t safe, that they know her mom didn’t die and after all this time are still after them, all she feels is anguish and fear. For a split second, she finds herself thinking that maybe it’s a good thing that Valentina cut her out of her life considering how hers is filled with so much danger and pain.

“How did they know?” Lupita suddenly asks with a sob, taking Juliana out of her thoughts. “How did they find out we were hiding here?”

“I don’t know,” Panchito says, shaking his head. “They didn’t say how they found the place but… Juliana.”

Juliana feels her senses sharpen with a rush of concern when Panchito addresses her with evident apprehension in his voice.

“They were asking about you in particular. They said something that…” he frowns, “Well, it didn’t make much sense to me but maybe it will to you?”

“What did they say?” Juliana presses, urging him to explain a situation that gets only more confusing as the seconds go by.

“They kept saying that you have someone to meet.” Panchito shrugs with a sigh, clearly perplexed with the memory he is recalling. “I don’t get it but they said there’s a princess waiting for you.”

“Princess?”

Juliana knits her brows together, completely disoriented by Panchito’s words. She turns to look at her mother but Lupita looks just as confused as she feels.

“What princess?” she asks, needing a clear explanation that Panchito doesn’t know how to give her. “What does that mean? I don’t—”

“Juliana?”

Juliana turns around at the sound of her name suddenly being called out. Her eyes search amidst the crowd for a familiar face that might have called out her name, but what she finds instead is a police officer with a phone in his hand, staring at her a few feet away. He strides up to her after their gazes meet.

“Juliana Valdés?” he asks. Juliana nods, blinking in confusion at the sudden question. She opens her mouth to ask but the man turns away and resumes his conversation on the phone.

“Yes, sir. It’s her. She just arrived,” Juliana hears him say. She looks at her mother and Panchito, just as bewildered as she is.

“What—” the officer cuts off her question by raising his arm and flicking his wrist, not even bothering to look at Juliana. The dismissive attitude immediately sparks a newfound anger inside her and she grits her teeth to keep herself from mouthing off at him.

“Noted,” the officer says on the phone, nodding his head. “Yes, sir, as soon as possible. We’re moving now, we’ll be there soon.”

He hangs up and finally turns back to look at Juliana. He doesn’t seem to even noticed the annoyed expression on her face. He doesn’t even let her speak, before announcing something that only adds to Juliana’s confusion.

“I need you to come with me.”

“What?” Juliana asks, and her mother cuts her off, asking the question that trouble her mind before she has the time to do it herself.

“Come where? Where are you taking her? Why?” Lupita presses, but the man lifts his hand again, silently telling her not to protest.

“Perdón, señora but this doesn’t concern you. I need your daughter to—”

“I’m not moving unless you tell me what’s going on,” Juliana says, crossing her arms on her chest and lifting her chin in defiance. “Panchito was almost killed trying to protect me and my mom. I’m not leaving without an explanation.”

The officer’s gaze moves between Juliana and Lupita but finds them both unwavering in their resolution. It doesn’t take him long to realize that what the fastest option to get what he wants will be.

“Inspector Montilla requested to see you. We were going to send someone for you but since you’re here already he wants to see you immediately. He is waiting at the hospital.”

“Why does he want to see me? And why the hospital?” Juliana asks.

“The narco who was arrested was taken there. The Inspector found evidence that connects you to another case he is working on, so he wants to see you. Now if you please—”

“What case?” 

From the moment the officer had appeared and demanded she followed him with no explanation, a feeling of unease had slowly started to grow and spread deep in the pit of her stomach, something she hadn’t been able to figure out rationally but that had nevertheless told her something awful was coming. Still, even with all her apprehension, even with that gut feeling, nothing could have prepared her for the officer’s answer. The words that come out of his mouth make her heart stop dead in her chest.

“The disappearance of a girl. Miss Valentina Carvajal.”

Juliana registers the words, she hears her mother gasp next to her, but she can’t move. She is stunned into place, completely paralyzed by a shock so violent her mind feels like it cracked in two.

“What?” she chokes out. She feels herself shaking her head, but she is completely detached from the action, from her entire body, teetering on the edge of a delirious daze.

“She’s not— no…” she mumbles, blinking repeatedly in a sudden nervous tic. Her mind has gone into a state of complete denial, utterly unable to process and accept what the officer said. Every event, every conversation she has had about Valentina in the past week forcefully pushes forward from the back of her memory, all clear and vivid as if they were happening in that exact moment.

“No,” Juliana says again. “No, she— Valentina didn’t disappear. She left with… she’s away with Lucho.”

“Lucho Carreon?” the officer asks. “His family filed a missing person report yesterday. We believe the two cases might be connected.”

Juliana feels her body grow cold. Her hands turn clammy and a wave of nausea adds to the awful dizziness she already feels. Every single word that comes out of the officer's mouth goes against everything she was made to believe for all this time, everything that tormented her and she battled with and tore her open from the inside. Something that even with all the pain it had caused her, she had always considered a better alternative to a scenario which saw Valentina in any kind of danger.

She glances at her mother’s shocked face for a moment and she remembers the conversation they had had just a few days ago, the conversation that had instilled so much fear in her she had rushed to Valentina’s house and clashed with Eva.

“It can’t be…” she whispers, shaking her head once again. “I talked to her sister. She told me that Valentina—”

“Miss Carvajal’s family reported the disappearance earlier this week. We’ve been working on it since.”

Juliana sucks in a sharp breath but no air seems to fill her lungs. The feeling of suffocation overwhelms her, so she shoots out a hand and grabs at her mother’s arm to steady herself, feeling like she might collapse any second now. Her mother’s words of concern reach her ears muffled. What she hears instead, sharp and clear, are Eva’s words. The absolute conviction with which she had told her that Valentina didn’t want her in her life anymore. The strength of her lie, she realizes now.

“Eva told me…” she doesn’t finish the sentence. Her mind goes somewhere else. The more she rationalizes that everything that she believed was wrong, that Valentina didn’t willingly leave—leave _her_ —but that instead something happened to her, the more Juliana loses herself to a whirlwind of horrifying images, one worse than the other. She had grown up to always expecting the worst, all the time, and now more than ever this built-in instinct kicks in and works against her, forcing her to imagine Valentina in danger or hurt in a multitude of ways, her greatest nightmare.

“What—” Juliana coughs dryly, blinking to force back the tears that she can feel forming. “Is she okay? What do you know? Is… is she—”

“Inspector Montilla will give you all the information you are requesting,” the officer simply says. “Miss Carvajal’s family is on the way to the hospital, too. So now, please.”

He gestures to one of the police cars, one of the passenger doors already opened. Juliana moves her gaze between the car and her mother. She can feel her mom’s hand tightening around her wrist, silently telling her not to move. Juliana is aware of it, much like she is aware that the cop isn’t just asking her to come, he is ordering her to, but all she can truly focus on is Valentina. 

Juliana doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand why the Inspector would want her at the hospital, why the cop said she might be connected to an investigation she wasn’t even aware of until five minutes ago, but not knowing now feels even more terrifying than anything she might find out from Inspector Montilla. It all feels surreal, a nightmare with her eyes wide open.

Her mother doesn’t try to protest when Juliana hugs her and tells her she will go. Juliana wouldn’t have listened even if she had. She has no other choice in this, and not because of the officer’s request, but because she’s not gonna survive not knowing what really happened to Valentina. She can feel in her body the sickening push and pull between needing the truth and being terrified of it, all made worse by her possible involvement.

The drive to the hospital feels endless to Juliana. The whole way there she torments herself with the worst ideas and possibilities. Trying to prepare herself or even just getting a hold on herself is pointless; whatever scenario flashes inside her mind involving Valentina in danger, Valentina being hurt, brings tears to her eyes and makes her struggle to breathe. Her teeth gnaw at her cuticles and fingernails, she breathes heavily through her mouth to control the constant rise and fall of nausea, but nothing works to calm her down. She finds herself asking for info again out of despair,, but the police officer always gives her the same answer.

When they finally get to the hospital, she practically storms out of the car to find Inspector Montilla and get the information being held from her. They take her to the fourth floor, walking across hallways she has grown to hate after her mother got shot. Juliana feels sick with that peculiar smell that makes her nose itch, but she has no time to focus on it. They direct her to a waiting room that has been made private for the occasion, and inside it, she finally finds Inspector Montilla. He is sitting there, going through a notebook with a grim look on his face. He stands up when he sees Juliana rush towards him, but the girl doesn’t give him the time to open his mouth and greet her. 

“What happened? Where is Valentina?” Juliana asks right away.

“Miss Valdés, I need you to calm—”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, I need to know what happened to Valentina!” Juliana yells, fed up with the men’s insistence on withholding information from her. “Did you find her? Is she here?” 

“No.” 

Juliana had been begging for a straight answer all this time, but now that she got it, it petrifies her. Panic immediately crawls up her throat, stunning her into silence.

“No, she isn’t here,” Montilla continues. “We arrested a suspect, though, as you probably know. ” 

Juliana blinks, and with the action she feels tears stick to her lashes. She hadn’t even realized her eyes had grown misty.

“Have you…” she swallows, trying to keep the shakiness out of her voice. “Have you interrogated him yet? Has he told you where she is?” 

Montilla simply shakes his head, and Juliana feels one of those tears fall down her face. 

“We did get some interesting info, though.” Juliana cringes at the word choice but doesn’t say anything, eager to know any little detail. “They concern you too, which is why you’re here, Juliana.”

“Why me?” Juliana asks on a whisper. Her mouth feels dry, she swallows against what feels like sandpaper. Ever since the officer told her that she somehow seems to be connected to Valentina’s disappearance, Juliana has racked her brain and tortured herself, both searching and dreading an answer at once.

Instead of answering her question, Montilla takes out his phone and opens the photo gallery, selecting one picture and turning the screen for Juliana to see. 

“Do you know him?” 

Juliana’s blood grows cold in her veins when she sees the man in the picture. 

“That’s…” She scrunches up her features and bites at her lip, struggling to keep the anger out of her voice. “That’s Mugres. The man who shot my mom.” 

“He is the man we arrested.”

“What?” Juliana whispers, barely any sound to her words. The news sends her into a newfound state of shock, immediately causing a painful pounding inside her head. 

“He’s in the room next door,” Montilla says, putting the phone away. Juliana instinctively glances in the direction of the door, feeling an insurmountable wave of rage threaten to overwhelm her at the thought of being this close to the man who hurt her mom and is currently responsible for endangering Valentina’s life. 

“What did he tell you?” Juliana hisses, nervously clenching and unclenching the muscle in her jaw. 

“He admitted to being in on the kidnapping of Miss Carvajal, but he won’t tell us where she is.”

Juliana feels sick at the nonchalant way used by the Inspector to confirm Valentina’s state. She knew that’s what it was since the first officer had told her Valentina was missing, but the word ‘disappearance' is much more digestible. ‘Kidnapping’ leaves no room for hope of anything good.

“Make him talk,” Juliana says angrily, eliciting a small chuckle from Montilla. 

“We can interrogate him, niña, we cannot torture him.” 

Juliana glares at him, biting back the need to reply that yes, they should torture him. They should do anything necessary to find out where Valentina is. Instead, she squeezes her eyes shut and rubs a hand across her face, trying and failing to calm her overloaded nerves. 

“Why am I here?” she asks again. “Did he mention me? My family? Because he kidnapped my mom already and—”

“No, child,” Montilla interrupts her. “He didn’t say anything about you, but we collected evidence that connects you to this kidnapping.” 

Juliana locks gaze with the Inspector at that, staring confused and in dread at his face.

“What evidence?” 

“Juliana… Can I call you—” 

“What. Evidence.” 

Montilla holds Juliana’s unwavering stare for a moment, then he lets out a defeated sigh. 

“A video.”

Juliana feels dizzy with the answer, her brain immediately working on tearing her apart from the inside with every horrible scenario possible. 

“We collected his phone, and there was a video on it from a few days ago. It shows Miss Carvajal. And the reason you’re here is that you’re mentioned in it.” 

Juliana barely hears the last part. The knowledge that her name was spoken in the video barely reaches her, the guilt that comes with being possibly responsible for what happened to Valentina is already infinitely stronger than the shock of the news. But it is knowing that Valentina is present in the video, that they have evidence about Valentina’s condition, that annihilates every other information with a feeling too intense for words. 

“I need to see it,” Juliana whispers without even thinking. 

“Juliana, we need to talk about why you—”

“I don’t want to talk, I want to see this video!” she suddenly yells, unable to stay calm and focus on logistics after being told that they have evidence of what Valentina is going through.

“What have they done to her? Is she okay? Is she—”

“Niña, you need to calm down.” 

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” she screams. “It’s Valentina!” 

Juliana brings her hands to her face, digging her nails into her skin with the intensity of her despair. 

“There are procedures we have to go through and—”

“You’re wasting time with fucking procedures when you should be out there looking for her!” Her voice grows even louder, unable to contain her anger and fear and frustration with the man standing before her. “You did nothing when my mom was kidnapped and you’re standing here, being useless again, while Valentina is in their hands.” 

“I assure you, we’re doing everything we can, so you better watch your tongue, little girl.” 

It takes a monumental effort for Juliana to bite back a remark on how money and social class determine what is worthy of the police’s full attention. Any other day she would be furious, but this time she doesn’t care. All she wants is for them to find Valentina. 

“Well, if you’re doing everything then show me the video.” 

“It’s classified evidence, we can discuss it but—”

“Maybe I can help!” she yells, “Have you thought about that, inspector genius? I know these people, maybe I can—”

“What’s going on here?” 

Both Juliana and Montilla turn around at the sudden interruption. Juliana didn’t think she could grow any more upset and angry than she already was, but she realizes she was wrong the moment she sees Eva standing at the door. 

She isn’t alone for long. Barely a moment after her sudden arrival, the other members of Valentina’s family appear behind her: Lucía, Guille, and a woman Juliana doesn’t recognize but she assumes to be the man’s girlfriend by the way they’re holding hands. Juliana can read on their faces the same fear and distress she is feeling; only Eva’s features are tinged with anger too. For once, Juliana can relate to her.

Another police officer suddenly rushes inside the room from behind the Carvajals, out of breath and with an apologetic look in his eyes. 

“I tried to stop them,” he says to Montilla, but Eva cuts him off with a death glare. She storms towards Montilla and Juliana, looking at the younger girl with evident contempt. 

“You share information with this social climber but not with us?” 

Juliana rolls her eyes and lets out a scoffs at the insult, completely devoid of patience after everything she’s been through.

“Fucking unbelievable…”

“What did you say to me?” Eva hisses, turning around and directing her piercing stare towards Juliana, but unlike in the past, Juliana doesn’t back up. She doesn’t even feel intimidated by it, it only makes her angrier, the memory of Eva’s lies feeding her fire.

“I said you’re fucking unbelievable,” Juliana replies, stepping even closer to Eva until they’re into each other’s face. 

“Please, this is not the right time,” Lucía suddenly says, stepping in and wrapping her hand around Juliana’s arm to separate the two, but Juliana harshly tugs her arm away, too mad at Eva to find reason appealing.

“You have the guts to insult me after what you did,” Juliana hisses.

“What? What is she talking about, Eva?” Guille asks confused, walking up to his sister for an explanation. Juliana sees the slightest hint of hesitance in Eva’s eyes after her words, that same vulnerability she had spotted when they had confronted each other. Just as before, it is quickly buried under the woman’s cold anger.

“All I did was protect Valentina from someone like you.”

“Someone like…” Juliana lets out a mirthless laugh. It dies down right away, replaced by a wave of rage that twists at her face. 

“You lied to me!” she explodes, appealing to all her restraint not to just jump on Eva and hit her. “You told me Valentina didn’t want to see me when you knew the truth all along!”

“Valentina is none of your—”

“I just wanted to help!” Juliana cries, angry tears welling up in her eyes. “Did your lie help Valentina? Did you protect her? Did you?!”

Juliana hates herself for letting a sob escape from her throat, but it is beyond her control. She doesn’t feel relieved in the slightest when she sees the glint of forming tears shine inside Eva’s eyes, she only feels more drained. She doesn’t protest when Lucía wraps her hands around her shoulders and pulls her back, murmuring words of comfort that only sound empty to Juliana. She feels powerless; powerless in a way she doesn’t know how to deal with.

“Look…” the woman Juliana doesn’t know says hesitantly once silence falls into the room. “I don’t know what happened but I think fighting helps no one. We’re all here because we care about Valentina.”

“”Yes,” Guille says, looking at her and nodding. “Renata is right. We should focus on Valentina.”

“Thank you, señor Carvajal,” Montilla says, clearing his throat and straightening his back to give himself some authority. “Now, as I was telling Juliana—”

He is interrupted by Eva’s scoff. The woman blinks the tears out of her eyes before they even have the chance to show and clenches her jaw, quickly regaining control over herself.

“Right, I forgot how incompetent your team is. Talking to that girl before talking to us, Valentina’s family.”

Every person in the room sighs at her comment, but Eva remains unfazed.

“Miss Carvajal, you need to understand—”

“Don’t tell me what I need and don’t need to understand, Montilla.” Eva cuts him off, shoving a finger in his face. “My sister has been kidnapped and you’re doing nothing about it.” 

Montilla tries to come up with more excuses but Eva keeps interrupting him, not letting him speak and showering with a string of curses and threats that makes Juliana realize why Valentina was so scared to confront her sister. 

Lucía and Guille quickly join in on the discussion, and the argument among them grows more and more heated until in a matter of minutes from their arrival, Juliana becomes invisible to everyone. So wrapped in their fighting, they completely forget about her, even more so when a young police officer walks in to try to ease the situation. 

For a few moments, Juliana just stands there, growing more and more frustrated as the seconds pass. She glances at the open door and back at the arguing individuals in the room. No one looks back at her, no one notices her. So, unable to stay there and waste more time, Juliana sneaks out.

She looks behind her to see if anyone followed her but the screams coming from the waiting room tell her that nothing changed. Taking a deep breath, she makes her way down the hallway, replaying Montilla’s words in her head. There is only one other door there, right before the corner. Whatever security was supposed to be there is gone, making Juliana wonder if that’s what that officer was supposed to be doing before Eva and the others arrived and started yelling. 

Checking around to make sure no one will see her, Juliana clenches her fists to fight back the nerves and opens the door, sneaking inside the room and locking the door behind her. Whatever fear she was feeling is replaced by blind rage when she finds herself staring at Mugres.

For several seconds, Juliana can’t do anything except stare at the man from afar. She takes in his sleeping form, the cuffs that keep his wrists tied to the bed, the bandage around his shoulder where the cops must have shot him. She remembers meeting him in the elevator, how disgusted she had felt with the way he had leered at her, her fear at the realization that he was there to kill her mother. Valentina’s protective arms around her. The thought causes a fresh wave of fury to rise within her. Imagining Valentina in the hands of a man so disgusting makes her want to kill him right there. 

Slowly, she walks up to him, circling his bed as her face twists more and more with the rage she is barely suppressing. Then, she gives a harsh kick to the bed. 

“Wake up,” she hisses. She does it a second time, harder, and this time, she startles him awake. 

Mugres squints his eyes at first, still sleepy and disoriented, but when his eyes find Juliana, the features of his face slowly shift from confusion to surprise and excitement. His lips arch into a smile and he sighs, amused. 

“Chiquita…”

Juliana silently stares at him with hatred in her eyes, wishing she could burn him with the power of her glare. He is unashamed in his amusement, not wasting time in roaming his eyes up and down her body in a way that makes Juliana tremble with anger. 

“You look much better than the last time we met, little one.” 

“You instead look like the same disgusting piece of shit,” Juliana whispers with a low voice, dripping with all her loathing. Mugres only laughs at her comment, though, wincing slightly with a zing of pain in his shoulder. 

“You have the same fire as your mommy. We had fun together, her and I. Didn’t she tell you? Sure, not as much as I would have liked but—”

“Where is Valentina?” Juliana cuts him off, refusing to let him distract her or affect her with his words. 

Mugres stares at Juliana intrigued, taking in the anger in her words. 

“Valentina?” He looks up to the ceiling for a moment, as if lost in his thoughts and trying to recall an important information. “Sorry, that name doesn’t sound familiar.” 

“Don’t… play games with me, Mugres,” Juliana hisses through gritted teeth, suppressing the instinct to punch the information she needs out of him. “I know you kidnapped her. You know where she is, and you’re going to tell me.” 

Mugres only smiles wider at the intensity in Juliana’s voice, thoroughly amused by the situation. Juliana is disgusted by the way he doesn’t even try to hide the enjoyment he is feeling, as if he were the one in control and her the one at his mercy.

“Ohhh, now I see,” he says. “You mean the princesita.” 

A muscle clenches in Juliana’s jaw at the nickname. Panchito’s words suddenly resonate in her mind, how the narcos had told him she had a princess to meet. It all makes sense now, horrifyingly so.

“Where is she?”

Mugres only shrugs, taunting Juliana with another smile that makes her want to rip off his head entirely.

“Son of a bitch… what have you done to her?” she whispers, and a shudder runs through her body at the sudden quiet laugh that comes out of Mugres’ mouth. 

“What, do you want a list?”

The question, so simple and vague and terrifying, paralyzes Juliana with an onslaught of terror and brings tears to her eyes. She does everything she can to hold them back and seem impassive, but the wide smile on Mugres’ face tells her he perfectly noticed the glint in her eyes. 

“Why—” Juliana has to stop herself, swallowing hard and choking back more tears as countless images of a hurt Valentina flashes through her mind. She appeals to whatever defense mechanism she has left and tries to turn her terror into anger, to keep her voice as steady as possible. “I swear, if you hurt her—”

“Baby girl…” Mugres suddenly interrupts her, his eyes growing dark with a perverse excitement. “You shouldn’t be asking if your princess got hurt, but _how_ she got hurt.” 

With no control over her muscles, Juliana feels her hands curl into tight fists, fingernails digging into her palms hard enough to break the skin. There is a ringing in her ears that grows louder with every scenario she starts creating in her head, images of Valentina crying, screaming, laying completely still. Lifeless. Countless questions hang at her lips but she cannot bring herself to utter them. As angry and determined as she was when she entered the room, she is only terrified now. 

“Go ahead,” Mugres says, noticing her hesitation. “Ask. We could sit here and talk about it for hours. She was entertaining far beyond any hopes I had.”

Juliana opens her mouth but any question dies down before she can utter it, silenced by the fear and anger that keep rising within her with every word that comes out of Mugres’ mouth.

“I’m gonna kill you,” she eventually whispers, her voice filled with intent and the pure, dark desire to actually carry out her threat. “I swear to God, I’m gonna kill you. What did you do?” 

Mugres shrugs again. 

“I played with her. Me and the others.” 

He doesn’t elaborate, but the simple comment is enough to make Juliana’s stomach churn with anguish. 

“She was brave…” he continues, cutting deeper into Juliana with his words. “Trying to fight back every chance she had. It only caused her more pain, you know? Not that I complain, her screams were so pretty…” 

Juliana hadn’t realized she had started crying until she tastes salt on her lips. Another tear follows the first one, rolling down her cheek, but Juliana doesn’t bother brushing it away. She cannot move, frozen in horror more and more with everything he says. 

“She could have ended it right away but no, she was stubborn.” Mugres tilts his head, smiling wider. “Stubborn, and too in love with you for her own good.”

Juliana’s throat closes up and cuts off all her breath.

“What?”

The whispered question tumbles from Juliana’s lips without control, too stunned by his words to restrain herself. Mugres’ smile twists, growing more deviant, a grin revelatory of his desire to inflict more pain, if only through his words. 

“Why do you think the boss took your girl, chiquita? He wanted to know where you were hiding. You and your mommy. He knew you and the princess were inseparable.” 

He lets out a small laugh. 

“Sure, we had no idea just how close you two really were.” 

Taking in the tears in Juliana’s eye, Mugres suddenly shifts in his bed, leaning in to get closer to her and smiling at Juliana’s involuntary flinch. 

“Between us, it only made things better.”

For several seconds, Juliana is completely paralyzed, unable to move, to do anything but stare at Mugres and cry silently. Then, she slowly shakes her head in disbelief,unable to accept a reality in which Valentina got hurt because of her. A soundless ‘no’ falls from her lips, her body and mind fighting against Mugres’ monstrous reveal, but the more she tries to deny it, the more she feels it sink in, like poison inside her veins. To make things worse, her brain starts piercing her with ideas, one more horrible than the other, about how they could have found out about their love for each other, the truth behind their relationship. 

Mugres seems to read everything she is feeling on her face, and decides to make things worse. 

“You know, little girl,” he says with a sigh, like he’s nostalgically recalling a precious memory. “She called out your name once.” 

Juliana feels sick, her knees bucking with the need to double over and throw up. 

“Or really, she whispered it. She didn’t have enough energy left to scream. We consumed her voice real good.” 

He laughs at his own words, blind to the horror twisting Juliana’s features.

“Where is she?” Juliana whispers once she finds her voice again. She doesn’t recognize it when it reaches her ears. She feels delirious, detached from herself and hanging at the edge of a dark abyss.

“Again with that question?” Mugres chuckles. “That’s boring. Why don’t you ask me how—”

Juliana doesn’t let him finish. She lunges forward and pushes her fingers inside the wound on his shoulder, pressing her other hand over his mouth to cover his scream.

“Where is she?!” she cries out again, twisting her fingers and driving them deeper into the bleeding wound. Mugres screams and flails on the bed but the cuffs keep him stuck, preventing him from fighting back.

Juliana pulls back only for a moment, removing her hand to give Mugres the chance to talk. The man breathes raggedly, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, but after a few seconds, he starts laughing again, shaking his head.

It drives Juliana insane.

She covers his mouth again and digs her fingernails back into the wound, completely lost in her hatred and despair.

“Where is Valentina?!” she keeps asking above his muffled screams. 

“Where?!”

Mugres coughs and whines when Juliana finally pulls back, his arms instinctively tug against the cuff in the attempt to reach for his wound but he can barely move. He is clearly in pain, red in the face and sweating, but despite Juliana’s desperate attempts, the result is always the same.

“Does it matter?” Mugres asks, laughing as he tries to catch his breath. “It won’t change what we did to your pretty girlfriend, chiquita.”

Juliana brings her fists to her forehead, pacing back and forth across the room to try and let out some of her despair. She fails miserably, only growing more anguished with each second that goes by. She is struggling to breathe properly by the time she stops and goes back to looking at Mugres.

“What…” 

Juliana doesn’t want to ask the question. Every resolution she had entering the room has vaporized with the horror of reality. But she has no control over herself, her mouth works of its own will, and the words fall out against her wishes. 

“What did you do to her?” 

Mugres simply regards her for a second, taking in the panic and distress evident on her face. Then, he smiles excitedly, like he was waiting for nothing more than that question, waiting for the perfect way to ruin Juliana for good. 

“Can’t you imagine it, baby girl? You’ve seen your girlfriend. What do you think we did?” 

Juliana tastes bile at the back of her throat. Her lips twist in the pointless attempt to hold back a sob. She feels light-headed all of a sudden, a horrible mix between feeling like falling over a dark edge and being crushed into the ground. Her entire body starts shaking violently, as if physically unable to contain the horror caused by Mugres’ words. She starts breathing raggedly, short, heavy breathes that move in and out of her mouth but bring no oxygen to her lungs. 

Valentina’s face flashes before her eyes. Her soft smile, her loving gaze. And then she imagines that same face she loves so much twisted in pain, forced to endure the worst horrors imaginable. All because of her.

“That’s right.” Mugres’ voice takes Juliana out of her horrified trance and she meets his stare again, taking in his ugly satisfaction. “She felt so good, chiquita, but I’m sure you already know that.” 

Juliana’s stomach clenches with another wave of sickness. 

“Stop,” she chokes out, unable to breathe. 

“We tortured her first.” Juliana tastes more tears on her lips. “I’m sure she preferred that kind of pain to what we did later. At some point she was just lying there like a dead fish.” 

Juliana’s teeth grit together to the point of pain. She feels herself close to breaking, painfully close to tipping over the edge and falling into that dark abyss she doesn’t know she’ll be able to get out of. 

“You— I will…” 

Juliana whispers incoherent words, unable to form proper thoughts or sentences while being assaulted with the horror of what Mugres is telling her.

“Thank you for sharing your princess with us, baby girl.”

Suddenly, Mugres looks up and down Juliana’s body, holding his gaze at the level of her waist for several seconds before moving his eyes back up to stare at her. Juliana can’t help but imagine that same revolting stare directed at Valentina, and she feels herself slipping, losing control and her grip on reality.

“You’re gay like her, right?” Mugres asks. The corners of his mouth curl up into a grin and Juliana sees red. “So now I’m wondering… do you feel as good as her? Because she was the best bitch I’ve ever—” 

Juliana moves without thinking, driven only by a pure, animalistic instinct, everything else annihilated by blind rage. She grabs at a pillow on one of the chairs in the room and presses it over Mugres’ face, using all her strength to keep him down while he thrashes in the bed and suffocates. She pushes harder and lets out a scream, long and croaked and filled with all her anger and pain, consumed by the mad desire to silence him forever, as if killing him will somehow erase all the pain he inflicted on Valentina.

“You’re lying! Liar!” Juliana screams, pressing the pillow even harder on Mugres’ face, only driven more murderous by his thrashing. She is lost in her rage, rendered mad with horror and anger, all she can think of are his words about what they did to Valentina, and it makes her want to hurt him just as much. 

She doesn’t notice the door opening but suddenly someone grabs her waist and pulls her away. 

“What are you doing?!” 

Juliana ignores the words of the officer who rushed in and keeps flailing around and screaming at Mugres, now flushed and gasping violently as two nurses rush to check his conditions. 

“I’ll kill you!” Juliana yells as they drag her out, thrashing about so violently that the officer has to lift her up to be able to pull her out of the room, leaving her only when they’re halfway through the hallway. 

Juliana shoves him away with anger and then brings her hands to her hair, fresh tears forming in her eyes as the reality of what Mugres told her hits her with all its horrible power.

“Are you trying to get yourself arrested?!” the officer asks, panting with the effort of dealing with her. Juliana doesn’t answer, lost in her thoughts, breathing heavily to try to calm herself down and not succumb to panic. It is useless, though. 

“I need to…” she hiccups, rubbing angrily at her eyes to stop the tears from falling. “I need to find her. We need to go, she can’t— we can’t leave her with them, we can’t. I have to—”

“Hey hey, breathe.” The officer’s hands rest on her shoulders all of a sudden, trying to ground her and keep her from having a panic attack. “You’re gonna hyperventilate. Breathe deeply, come on.” 

He mimics a deep, long breath, trying to guide Juliana into a safer, calmer state. It’s barely of any help. The panic she was feeling turns into anguish, forcing her to bend over and cough violently against the instinct to dry-heave. By the time she has recovered and managed to start breathing slightly more normally, her face is completely wet with tears.

“God,” she whimpers, her face twisting in pain. “Valentina…”

“We’re going to find her,” the officer tries to reassure her. “We have the best men at work, and Inspector Montilla is currently working on a lead with the evidence he collected so—”

He doesn’t finish the sentence. His attention and Juliana’s are suddenly caught by a pained cry. They turn in the direction of the sound and to Juliana’s surprise they see Eva, storming out of the waiting room with a hand on her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut, making her way to the exit of the hospital. Even at that distance, Juliana doesn’t miss the streaks of tears down the older woman’s face. The sight does nothing but send a wave of dread through Juliana’s body. 

To add to her confusion and worry, the other members of Valentina’s family come out of the room as well, each in an evident state of upset. Juliana observes Lucía’s blanched face and hollow stare, how she reaches for the back of a chair with her hand before even seating, as if she know her legs are going to give out any second. 

Guillermo looks the opposite. He keeps rubbing at his eyes and walking back and forth, shaking his head to whatever Renata is trying to tell him to calm him down. Juliana flinches as violently as his girlfriend when out of nowhere, Guille punches at the wall with a cry.

The outburst catches everyone’s attention. People from the hospital staff rush to assist him, making him sit to check his hand. Juliana stares at the scene in silence for a few moments, then her eyes move to the entrance of the waiting room.

Her legs move with a will of their own and she walks away from the officer calling her name. She walks into the room the Carvajals had just left and finds Inspector Montilla sitting there, a grim expression on his face and a phone in his hands. Juliana’s stomach churns at what she’s about to ask but she doesn’t let it stop her. 

“Show me,” she says, catching the Inspector’s attention. “Show me the video.”

“Niña, we talked about this,” Montilla says with a sigh but Juliana stands her ground, slowly walking up to him with a blank expression on her face. 

“You made me come here. I’m in that video, you said it. If Val—” she stops, a muscle in her jaw twitching nervously. “If Valentina is getting hurt because of me, I need to know what… what they’re doing.” 

He holds her stare, meditating on her words as his hand instinctively clutches more tightly at the phone. 

“It’s not a good video,” he whispers, making Juliana’s throat close with anxiety, but she just squeezes her eyes shut and swallows back the feeling. 

“Just show me,” she repeats, opening her eyes again with a stare that leaves no room for discussion or negotiation. 

Montilla thinks about it for another long moment and then sighs heavily and nods, once. He glances to the chair next to him and Juliana sits down. Only when he hands her the phone does she realize that her hands are trembling. The screen is black, the play button staring back at her like a threatening entity. Now that she achieved her goal, she cannot bring herself to press it and make everything become real. Montilla seems to understand her struggle, and he presses it for her, sitting back right after and letting her watch.

The video starts out dark, the frame fixed on a dirty floor and shaking, not really focusing on anything. It moves up rapidly and Juliana has to hold back a growl when Mugres’ face comes into frame. He is staring right at the camera, his face covered with dark shadows in the dim light of the room. He brings a finger up and rubs it on the camera a couple of times, obscuring the video for a few seconds, then his face is back into frame, twisted in a satisfied grin that makes Juliana shudder. 

“Time for more fun,” he says to himself, then the camera twists again and Juliana stops breathing. 

It’s a distant sight at first, blurry but already unmistakable to her. When Mugres moves though, and the camera zooms in, even the comfort of the tiniest doubt is stripped away from Juliana and she finds herself staring at Valentina.

Juliana frowns at the sight in a hopeless attempt at holding back tears. Whatever image her brain had devised to torment her, reality is infinitely worse. Valentina is tied to a chair, wearing only a dirty shirt that clearly doesn’t belong to her. She has no pants, a detail that makes Juliana’s stomach twist as Mugres’ words replay in her ears. It is only one of the many details that horrify her. The main one being Valentina’s stillness. 

Her head is hanging down on her chest, hair messy and covering her face, and she is so still that Juliana cannot be sure she is actually breathing. A zoom on her body makes Juliana clench her fist in anger, as Mugres’ quiet laugh resonates in the background of the video. Then, Juliana hears more voices and notices a sudden movement. The camera zooms back to take in every detail and Juliana freezes when two men appear. She immediately recognizes one of them.

“Wake up, princesita,” Alacrán says, making Juliana shake with rage.

When Valentina doesn’t move, the other man steps close to her and grabs at her hair, pulling her head back and making her groan with the harsh movement. 

“He said wake up.” 

A tear falls from Juliana’s eyes and hits the screen. She had asked for this, but now that it barely started, she doesn’t know how she is going to survive through it. The images that pass in front of her eyes break something within her soul, threatening to consume her from the inside. For the first time, she is able to take in Valentina’s face, and what she sees doesn’t just shock her, it horrifies her. She is covered in blood and bruises, the same features Juliana fell in love with are now maimed by injuries. She notices the wound on Valentina’s eyebrow and the cut on her lip, how blood dripped down and dried up over the length of her neck. 

It’s not the wounds to horrify her the most, though. It’s Valentina’s eyes. Dark and hollow. The only emotion Juliana recognizes in them is fear.

“Easy, Carlos,” Alacrán says to the man, then he goes back to looking at Valentina. “So, are we making some progress?”

He walks in slow circles around the restrained girl, and Juliana immediately notices the tremors that start running through her body. When she keeps quiet, Carlos tugs at her hair harder, making her whimper in pain. 

“Stubborn bitch. Haven’t you had enough? Wanna taste the electricity again?” 

It’s a rapid comment, ignored by everyone in the video, but Juliana hears it and her heart skips a beat, all the implications of what Carlos just said hitting her at once and making her feel nauseous. She remembers Mugres’ words— _we tortured her first_ —and she finds herself breathing heavily, trying to process and deal with the knowledge that the Valentina she is watching has gone through something horrifying already. What makes the unbearable even more harder to endure, though, is knowing that she might be about to watch Valentina go through more of that. 

“I respect your bravery, mija, I really do,” Alacran says, stopping in front of Valentina. “But now it’s verging on stupidity. You’re smart, you’ve figured it out by now. You only have one way out of this.” 

Juliana watches and grows immediately tenser when Valentina suddenly opens her mouth, breathing heavily and swallowing more than once like she has barely any energy left even to just utter something. Instinctively, Juliana leans in, as if proximity is going to make her hear better. 

“I…” Valentina starts, with a voice so pained and raspy that it feels like a direct stab to Juliana’s chest. “I’m not gonna do what you want.” 

More tears fall from Juliana’s face, witnessing Valentina’s courage despite all the pain she’s been put through. She wants to enter the video and take her away, to take her place, to kill everyone in the room and hold Valentina until every memory of the hurt they put her through is gone. But all she can do is watch.

“Ah, mija,” Alacrán laughs with his men. “We’ve been here before. It’s either that or more pain. Don’t put yourself through this for a girl that doesn’t even belong to your world.” 

He leans down and rests his hands on the back of the chair, placing his face so close to Valentina’s that Juliana’s hand starts shaking. 

“We can end this right now. Just tell me where Juliana and her mom are and I’ll let you go.” 

Juliana knew the truth. She had suspected it first and then she had heard it from Montilla and Mugres. But witnessing the confirmation that she is the sole reason for what is happening to Valentina doesn’t just make her sick, it makes her want to rip her skin off and vanish from existence.

Juliana watches powerless as Alacrán holds Valentina’s stare, taking in the tears in her eyes and the determination behind them. Then, he brings up a finger and brushes away a strand of hair from Valentina’s face. 

“Mija…” he whispers in a way that reminds Juliana of the time she had been the victim of his torment. When his hand slides down to rest on Valentina’s chest, Juliana breathes loud through clenched teeth, livid at having to watch him touch Valentina like that.

The anger quickly morphs into confusion and dread though, when he presses on a spot above Valentina’s breast and Valentina squeezes her eyes and moans in pain. 

“Don’t make me hurt you again.” 

It takes several seconds for Valentina to recover after he removes his hand. She keeps her eyes closed and breathes through gritted teeth, trying to fight against the pain that she is so obviously feeling. Juliana feels dizzy when she notices the bloody spot on Valentina’s white shirt, right where Alacrán pressed on, and her brain immediately starts tormenting her with the infinite possibilities of what might have caused the injury. She doesn’t have time to focus on it, though, because Valentina opens her eyes again and meets Alacrán’s gaze, refusing to look away even when trembling in fear. Then, she shakes her head.

Valentina’s silent answer makes Alacran sigh heavily, like what he’s about to do causes him grief. It doesn’t last longer than a moment, though. He pulls himself up and laughs quietly, shaking his head in disbelief at her stubbornness. 

“Ah, princesita, as frustrating as you can be, you’re for sure entertaining.” 

He claps his hand in a way that startles both Valentina and Juliana. Instinctively, Juliana looks to her side, searching for Montilla’s eyes but he is staring away, jaw clenching repeatedly in a way that only enhances Juliana’s dread about what she is about to see. 

She goes back to looking at the video, feeling a wave of pain and sorrow at the vividness of the fear she can see in Valentina’s eyes. She knows she is about to suffer, Juliana realizes. All because of her. 

Juliana watches Alacrán move towards a table but she cannot see what he is doing, the camera remains on Valentina, moving up and down her body in a way that mimics Mugres’ disgusting stare and makes Juliana want to puke. 

“Carlos!” Alacran’s voice suddenly resonates and the camera moves and finds him, his body hiding whatever instrument he’s setting up. “Gag the princess. She’s gonna hurt our ears with her screams.”

Juliana can do nothing but watch in horror as Carlos steps behind Valentina, playing with her hair and laughing at her struggles to move away from him. As she is in the middle of sucking in a harsh, terrified breath, he shoves a rag between her teeth and ties it tightly behind her head. He leans down and whispers something in Valentina’s ear that Juliana cannot hear, but Valentina’s violent reaction as she flinches away from him only adds to her anguish. 

Carlos turns to look at Alacrán and starts laughing at what he is seeing. Valentina does the same but her reaction is the exact opposite. She grows deathly pale and her eyes fill with tears, sucking in a breath through the gag and letting out a muted whimper of horror. Juliana can’t see, constrained by the limitations of Mugres’ video, but when he eventually zooms out and Alacrán enters the frame, Juliana sees the object in his hand and wishes she had never pressed play to begin with.

Juliana’s hands start shaking so violently the phone moves with it, her chest tightens to the point of being unable to breathe. A silent ‘no’ hangs from her lips but she is paralyzed, voiceless, unable to do anything but watch something that doesn’t belong even in the worst nightmares. Her eyes move frantically between Valentina’s horrified face and Alacrán. He starts walking slowly towards the tied girl and Valentina shakes her head desperately, trying to pull away but stopped by the bonds and Carlos’s hands on her. 

“We usually do this to teeth, you know?” he says. “I mean, not with this, it’s too big.” 

Laughs erupt around Valentina, making Juliana wish for death. 

“But I can’t ruin your mouth, princesita, I need you to be able to talk. You’re a tough cookie. Let’s see how well you take this.” 

He stands in front of Valentina and turns on the cordless drill in his hand, making her cry out in fear with the sound alone. Juliana watches without breathing, powerless, stunned into a condition of shock that refuses to make her accept this is actually happening. 

“Last chance, princess,” Alacrán whispers and Juliana’s vision blurs with burning tears. She finds herself praying, begging for Valentina to put a stop to this and give in. But if she is watching this, she knows that’s not what is about to happen.

Instead, she is forced to watch Valentina cry desperately and on the verge of a panic attack. But still, with a courage Juliana doesn’t think she is worthy of, Valentina shakes her head again, sobbing with the action as she knows the consequences it will have. Alacrán chuckles again and gestures at Carlos to hold Valentina still. He presses the metal tip against Valentina’s shoulder and lets the moment hang for several seconds, relishing the tears in Valentina’s eyes. Then, he turns the drill on.

The sound of the drill penetrating through Valentina’s flesh and bone merges with Valentina’s excruciating screams, piercing through Juliana’s mind and soul and leaving a wound that she knows is never going to heal. Juliana’s face twists unrecognizably with how hard she starts crying. It seems to last forever, with Valentina screaming and screaming even when the drill stops running. 

By the time Alacrán pulls away, Juliana is feeling dizzy. Everything is spinning and there is a ringing in her ears, an echo of the electrical sound and of Valentina’s cries of pain, not at all muted by the gag in her mouth. It takes Juliana several seconds to realize that they aren’t an echo and Valentina is _still_ screaming. Alacrán says something to taunt her but Juliana’s brain doesn’t register it. She is frozen, staring at the wound in Valentina’s shoulder and the way the girl she loves tries to hunch forward, gasping through the agony and unable to breathe. 

Juliana doesn’t think things could get worse, she doesn’t believe it humanly possible after witnessing something that belongs only in the most hellish depths. But then they force Valentina’s left hand flat against the wooden arm of the chair, and Alacrán presses the drill on the back of her hand. 

The second he turns it on, Juliana loses her hold on the phone and lets it drop on the ground, shaking from head to toe as Valentina’s screams reach her even like this. She feels Montilla’s hand on her shoulder but she doesn’t register whatever words he is saying to her. She gets up on wobbly legs and runs out of the room, blindly looking for the closest restroom and throwing herself inside. She barely makes it to the toilet before the sickness takes over. Juliana collapses on her knees and throws up, haunted by Valentina’s screams.


End file.
